Loving Anna Chapters 12 - 16

~ Twelve ~
Izzy and I were to leave the next morning and Jeremy was taking us to the airport, but now I was watching for his convertible from the living room window to go to mom’s party. I didn’t particularly want to see Devon and Riley, but I really wanted to see how dad was doing for myself. I wasn’t watching very long before I spotted him and Izzy. We had decided to present a united front to our two oldest brothers and go together. I ran outside, Izzy moved to the cramped backseat, and I took over the passenger seat and were off with country music blaring and the wind in our hair.
We arrived at Landerhaven, a place much different from The Beach Club, a little late. But as Izzy put it, we were fashionably late and after all we were the guests of honor and Jeremy was our escort. We didn’t spot our brothers right away, but it was clear we were on their territory. Devon’s sons, Ryan, 13, Drew, 12, and Ethan, 9, were there as well as Riley’s daughters, Rosalie, 11, and Claire, 8.
No Devon and Leah, or Riley and Julia in sight.
So far, so good.
Mom greeted us all with hugs and kisses on our cheeks before rushing off to attend to her guests. We spotted dad chatting with the kids, the latter of which incredibly bored. I felt pity for dad.
“C’mon, guys,” I said to my brother and sister. “Let go relieve daddy.”
We haven’t gone a few steps before Riley was in front of us, and not far behind him was Devon.
“Well, Anna, you certainly don’t look like the lone widower,” Riley said. As if he would know, I thought. I had only came for mom and daddy, not to be put through whatever these two are up to. Please, Jeremy, Izzy back me up.
“Shut up, Riley,” Jeremy muttered.
“I always thought Josh was beneath you, but as long as you seemed so happy…” Riley continued, ignoring Jeremy. I sucked in my breath, bringing my hands to my face. The bright afternoon sunlight catching the small diamond in my wedding band, which I still wore and I knew Riley had seen it, before he could comment. I moved behind Jeremy, quietly and he patted my shoulder reassuringly. We knew what Devon and Riley were like…and Izzy thought it’ll be her, as it turned I would need her this time. I spotted a bewildered Leah and a pregnant Julia. Well, good for Riley…I thought miserably.
“What? What did I say?” Riley said.
“You know damn well what you were doing,” Jeremy said. “If you can’t support her, why don’t you just leave her be?”
“She has her two greatest defenders,” Riley said.
“My sister has been through Hell these last few months and you are not making it easier for her…” Isabelle said, seething with rage.
“Well, poor Anna can always hide behind you,” Riley said and before Izzy could stop herself. She had had enough and this was the last straw. She raised her slapped him hard across the cheek.
“Big mistake, Isabelle,” Riley said. “Big mistake.”
“You’re the mistake, Riley, why are you even here?” she yelled.
“Ann, are you okay? You know how they can be such…jerks,” Jeremy said, stirring her away, with a glare over his shoulder that plainly said: I’ll be talking to you later, but I started jogging. I just knew I had to get away. I had to find peace of mind.
“Anna!” I heard Jeremy and Izzy calling me. Why do I let Riley disturbed me so much? Granted, it was Riley, who started, but he has always been like that and usually I just make some snide comment and turn away. Why had it bothered me so much more this time, but I knew the answer to that, too. This time he had insulted Josh. I can take it when it’s me, but not to Josh, not now…I heaved as huge tears slid down my face.
“Anna!” Jeremy said. I could hear him from just outside the door now.
“If you’re in there, Ann, please answer,” he said.
“Open the door, Annie,” Izzy said.
I sniffled, as I reached for the doorknob and pulled it opened upon seeing their sympathetic faces. I fall into the waiting arms of my brother and sister and all three of slid to the floor, where we sat huddled together. They allowed me to cry for a few minutes, without saying anything. Finally it was Jeremy who broke our silence.
“I’m so sorry, Annie, they’re terrible, I know and they should not have done that you. You don’t deserve any of this.”
I blew my nose on the Kleenexes I had clutched in my hand, while Izzy smoothed my hair.
“I wish someone would put them in their place once and for all,” I mumbled. Jeremy’s arm tightened around us. It felt good. It’s nice to have one good and sympathetic big brother like Jeremy.
“If it makes you feel better, and maybe it will a little, Izzy slapped him a good one across the cheek.”
“That’s help. Thank you, Izzy.”
“Nobody messes with my big sister and gets away with it,” she said, smiling. Correction….I felt blessed to have Izzy and Jeremy in my life.


~ Thirteen ~
“Relax, Ann, don’t give Riley the satisfaction by thinking about him. He obviously isn't about you,” Izzy said the next morning. She wanted to relieve the tension that I felt and I knew were certainly showing on my face, but I knew that it wasn’t working. Riley may be jerk most of the time and yesterday was definitely one of his jerkiest days yet, but he’s still my big brother…I shook my hand as Izzy’s arm encircle me in a comforting hug. I smiled, of course, shaking away any thoughts of Riley. Izzy was right about one thing: Riley can deal with whatever problems he must and I’ll deal with mine.
“Flight 749 to Sydney, Australia is now boarding!” croaked the loud speakers overhead.
“Oh my god, that’s us, Annie!” Izzy squealed. “We’re really on our way!”
“You have everything, right dear?” mom asked. She had driven us to the airport and would pick us up in six weeks upon returning to the good ol’ US of A.
“Yes, mom,” Izzy said, rolling her eyes.
“We’ll be fine, mom. I’ll look out for her,” I said, kissing my mother on the cheek and picking up my carry-on bag.
“I know I can count on you, Ann. Watch out for one another, girls, and have fun,” mom said.
“We will, mom. C’mon, Ann,” Izzy said, pulling on my arm. I barely got a wave out in my directions before we boarded the awaiting plane. My sister and I settled in our seats. I tried not to think of the fact that if things had gone differently it would have been Josh sitting beside me instead of Izzy.
“Ann?” Izzy said, lightly brushing her fingers on my shoulder.
“I’m fine, Izzy,” I said. “Just a little nervous flying, that’s all. Really.”
“Okay,” Izzy said. I knew she would buy my excuse and it was part truth. I really did have a little problem with flying and heights. Why not lose it to my advantage?
Once we were safely in the air and the seatbelt light clicked off. We were free to move around. We placed our drinks and snacks orders. My sister wasted no time and started mingling with an extremely gorgeous guy….in a soap opera kind of way….and exactly the kind of guy Izzy often chases. She could do better. Way better.
I propped my pillow up against the airplane window, thankful I won the coin toss with Izzy for the window seat. With a bottle of Pepsi, I settled down with Audrey Niffennegger’s novel The Time-Traveling Wife ready to escape into the world of fiction and fantasy; of wishing to time travel just once. Just one time.
If only to tell Josh goodbye. I never got say goodbye the first time.

~ Fourteen ~
As the plane descended onto Australian soil I managed to put Riley, Devon, my parents, Jeremy, and even Josh out of my mind. I seen to have, at least temporarily, pushing them to the back and taking on a whole new state of mind. All that really matters is that now Izzy and I were in paradise.
“We’re going to the land down under…” Izzy sang. I shooked my head. “What?” she asked, stopping in mid-song.
“Those aren’t even the right lyrics,” I said, grinning.
“Oh who cares, Annie? We’re finally here!”
“I’m excited, too, but let collect our luggage.” Izzy started singing the Aussie anthem once again, and I couldn’t help singing along with her and almost as loud. I caught myself smiling at my reflection in one of the airport’s many glass-paneled windows. I knew I could count on my sister’s antics to lighten my mood and help me relax. She smiled at me, obviously enjoying my improved state of mind herself.
After claiming our luggage, Izzy stopped momentarily to dig around inside one of her usual disorganized bag for her sunglasses, before we stepped into the sunny and topical climate of which would become our home for the next six weeks. I remembered the time difference. Australia is fifteen hours ahead than from what we’re used to in America. For Izzy and me, it was already tomorrow.
“Oh, Iz, look out!” I said, a little too late as she nearly collided with an older couple and their little girl. She couldn’t have been more than six-years-old. As my sister apologized, I interestingly watched them with a lump in my throat. I saw them each greeted by a younger gentleman – maybe late twenties, a few years older than me. I heard the older man say: “Son!” The younger one greeted each one with a hug and kiss on the cheek until he got to the little girl. She wrapped her small arms around his neck, inhaling deeply. “Your sister missed you,” the woman said. They all spoke with thick Australian accents that fascinated Anna and as I glanced once more at the younger man I realized just how handsome he really is with sandy blonde hair sun-kissed from days spent outdoors, the most perfect golden tan I ever saw, the bluest of eyes…like the ocean, which twinkle whenever he laughed. She saw his smile playing at the corners of his lips as he lifted his little sister into the biggest of hugs before setting her down once more, kneeling so she could climb on in piggyback fashion. I choked back tears watching the scenes – the remembrance of Josh and of yearning for what we could never have together. But there was something else…something I couldn’t put my finger or my thoughts on.
I wanted so badly to introduce myself, but I knew Izzy was waiting and besides what kind of person did that sort of thing inside busy airports…and with complete strangers? I let Izzy lead me away, glance once more at the blonde guy over my shoulder.
“Maybe I’ll see him again while we’re here,” I said, softly.
“Who?” Izzy said, with a questioningly.
“Nobody.”
“Mr. Nobody, eh? Izzy said, teasingly. “Or is that code for Keith Urban?”
“Nevermind, sis, let’s see if we can get a car.”


~ Fifteen ~
Izzy and I were able to rent a very cute, but reliable red four-door Sedan. At my sister’s insistence, I let her drive while I navigated her through the Australian streets towards our hotel, but my thoughts more than once drifted back to the “airport guy.” I didn’t even know his name, and yet here I was going gaga over some guy I never met and most likely never will.
It so wasn’t like me, I was acting…like my sister!
This new revelation stunned me into oblivion for a moment. When I first met Josh, we had been a couple of teenagers whose innocence and at times foolishness had eventfully turned into something more serious. It had blossomed into love. We truly believed we had our life together to live out every plan, every dream…
Boy, what a cruel and misleading joke that turned out to be, I thought bitterly. The more I thought about Josh, yes, of course I missed him and I will love him, but I realized that wanted to love again. I love being “in love”…doing all the romantic things; holding hands, gentle but intense kisses, a secret between friends, a soft caress or a simple touch. I begin to feel extreme guilt as soon as realized I have been picturing doing these things not with Josh, my deceased husband, but with the mysterious “airport guy.”
Whoever he is, I thought.
With a soft sigh, I knew Josh would always hold the key to my heart. Forever.
“Okay, Annie, I love you and I’m very happy to be here in the Aussie land with you, but you have to promised me something because, well to put it bluntly, I don’t want to be your caretaker the entire trip. I want to show you a good time if you’ll let me. Please? Pretty please with sugar, a bananas and strawberries on top?”
“With whipped cream?”
“Yes, of course, gotta have the whipped cream.”
“Of course, I’ll try, I’m here to have a good time too and to get my mind off of everything that has happened…”
“And I don’t just mean do it for Josh, I mean do it for yourself, too, because you want to go on living with me and Jeremy, mom and dad, and even Riley and Devon…have a good time and try to be open to new opportunities should they arise.”
“I know, Iz, I know,” I said, but deep down I knew it was going to be easier said than done.
“Hey, you forgot the vegemite?”
I made a face at my sister. “No, I didn’t, that was intentional.”
Izzy giggled.
“Sis?”
“Yeah, Ann?”
“In case I forget later, thank you for coming with me,” I said, quietly, and wondering if I should fill my sister in on the yet-to-be-named “airport guy.” Nah, Isabelle DeWitt, as loving and good intentioned as she is, has the world biggest mouth when it came to secrets. If I told her about the “airport guy” she wouldn’t rest until she found him and I was more than happy with the elusive dream. In my dream, he could be anybody I wanted him to be…a prince of a secret land, a rebellious individual like Robin Hood, a movie star scouting out locations for his next blockbuster hit, or just a nice normal guy who loves his family…he could even be Josh…

~ Sixteen ~
Over the next week and a half and with our vacation well under way, I knew I would want to remember these days. It was still early when I awoke, and especially early for Izzy, so I quietly gathered my journal and writing pens, a cup of streaming and frothy cappuccino and prodded out onto the veranda as not to wake my sister. I reread a little of what I wrote over the last few days…

Monday –
In Melbourne, I strolled the Royal Botanic Gardens and Queen Victoria Garden, taking in the scents of the flowers and admiring the magnificent greenery. It was overpowering, peaceful, serene…if heaven was like this, and Josh were there waiting for me, then I couldn’t wait to join him on the other side.
I soon found myself sipping an iced mocha latte on one of the sidewalk cafes that were popular along the Yerra River. It was bustling with people, vendors lined the streets selling t-shirts, caps, and other assorted merchandise which attracted tourists of all kinds. I remembered Izzy called it Australia’s version of New York City. I was reflected on Josh, of what all the romantic things we could do…I would have loved to walk beside him, to hold his hand, to feel his arm around my shoulders and his kisses raining down on my lips. I tried not to think about my airport guy and for the most part, that was easy…except every man with sun-kissed sandy blonde and twinkling blue eyes reminded me of him.
Diary, something’s wrong with Izzy and she won’t tell me what it is.
“Ann? Your mind left me for a minute?” Izzy said, waving her hand in front of my face. I blinked. I had been staring at someone from across the street. At first glance, he could have been mistaken for the airport guy, but now looking closely it was as if the real image had vanished and now I left with a Xerox copy. He walked away and turned around to Izzy.
“Sorry, sis, I---I guess I just lost it there for a minute,” I said.
“It’s okay,” Izzy said, with a hint of sadness in her usual happy voice.
“Hey, you’re okay?”
“Sure.”
However, I didn’t believe her and I knew I was right not to. She may put up a tough front, but she is still healing from her own past and recent troubles. Recovering from anorexia nervosa is never easy. I pulled her into my arms and she actually let me hug her, instead of her hugging me. “You want to talk about anything?” I asked.
“Maybe later back at the hotel.”
“Alright…” I was hesitant to let it go. I didn’t want to push her, but ever since Josh died I went out my way to let my family, and especially Izzy, know that I’m here for them.
“I’ll be fine, sis, you know me…I’ll bounce back from anything.”
Okay, Diary, so she says she’ll be fine, but how do I know that really? How do I know that I would even be fine? After that we went to the local grocer’s and picked up a few things and made a scrumptious meal in the suite and then ate on the beach. I love the feeling of eating my sister’s spaghetti with the water crashing over the tops of my feet. It was only later that night after Izzy had gone to bed did I noticed it was unusual early for her, even with the time difference. Oh well, maybe she’s still a little jet-lagged…

Tuesday –
Izzy is a blast to hang out with. She had convinced me to try parasailing, so that how we spent the day. On a cliff side, high above the deep, deep waters. I tried not to think about high up we really were, but all I can say is thank God there wasn’t any hard, jagged rocks jutted out in the ocean.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Ann?” Izzy asked me for the hundredth time this morning. I was about to be airborne.
“I’m sure, Izzy, you were right. I play it safe too much and if Josh were here, he would do this without even thinking twice,” I said, shouting to be heard over the rush of the wind.
“But it’s so high…”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine,” I said.
“Okay, Annie, be careful and have fun.”
“Now who sounds like mom,” I said, and then as the trained professional, Bill, gave me final instructions and then I was off. I into the wind I shouted: “Look at me, Josh!” and I could feel him watching me, proudly. I was flying, soaring, over the waters, hills, and lagoons…the people waved as I flew over their heads into the sky, towards the heavens and the clouds. It was exhilarating and the beauty surrounded me in every direction. I felt Josh’s arms around me, holding me, guiding me, protecting me, the way he would have done if he was still with me.
In the air, Diary, I knew Josh would always be with me.
Wednesday –
Before I could get misty eyed with visions of running towards Josh, Izzy whisked me away for a late afternoon boat ride. She seemed more like herself, Di, but something’s is still amiss. Anyway, I felt at one with the boat’s motions – gently as the lolling waves, combined with Captain Nick’s expertise of which he was more than happy to bestow on us. Captain Nick is a sixty-nine year old retired sailor and now he just sails for leisure. He had been married for thirty years before his wife, Mary, died of a brain hemorrhage (among other things).

“Was Mary a good cook?” Izzy asked, just as she was about to bite into a piece of succulent shrimp. I kicked her under the table, maybe Nick didn’t want to talk about his wife with complete strangers, but to my surprise he sat back with a smile on his face and his arms across his chest.
“She was the best, kid,” he said. Captain Nick had taken to calling Izzy and myself both “kid” since meeting him about a hour ago when we first boarded the boat. He sure was a talkative old man, but I enjoyed it. The more he and Izzy talked, the less I didn’t have to, I thought, picking up my corn on the cob.
“What with your sister, kid? Doesn’t she talk?” Nick said to Izzy.
“She had a rough couple months, Nick.”
“Ah…Mary used to keep a box,” he said. I was about to stop him, but he held up his hands, signaling that he wanted, or maybe he needed, to tell this story. “My wife would keep a box, on top of the dresser. The first time it appeared was just a few weeks after we were married. We had just a fight, as all couples do from time to time…you know what I mean?” He was talking to me.
“Yeah, I know.”
“I thought you might,” he said, with a wink. “And do you know what she kept in the box?”
“I haven’t a clue,” Izzy said. I shook my head.
“Problems.”
“Problems?” Izzy asked, confused.
“What kind of problems?” I asked, intrigued by the idea of locking away all you problems for eternality.
“Why, any kind, of course, if I remember correctly…this particular one was about plumbing.” We laughed, and then when we had settled down he said to me: “I get you that box before you leave.”
“Oh no, I couldn’t,” I said. I didn’t want to take away his wife’s precious memories.
“Mary would want it past down and we never had any children of our own,” he said, in a choked up voice. “You’ll be doing us both a favor to take it. Just promise me you’ll, too, will past it down.”
“To who?” I asked.
“To whoever you think needs it and you’ll know when the time comes.”
I could see the sadness in his eyes that had once been filled with joy, joy for Mary. I know, because it is the same look I see whenever I look in the mirror. I have the box – it’s a cute little thing, about six-by-six and about four inches deep inside. Its painted pale green with white and yellow daisies painted around it - sitting on the dresser back at the hotel. I thought it appropriate to leave it on a dresser.

Thursday –
I watched Izzy chat and at times, shamelessly, flirt with young men. It seems wherever we went, she almost always found someone who suited her fancy. I smiled and waited for her, but I couldn’t help thinking it would be nice to see her settled, and it doesn’t have to marriage necessary. Just a relationship she could get love, joy, and happiness from like I had had with Josh, and Nick with Mary.
I missed Josh more than ever, and like crazy. He was the only man I ever flirted with. He was the only man I ever loved. I reminded myself that Izzy is only twenty-three. I had been fortunate to find my true love at thirteen, and Nick had been incredibly lucky to have a lifetime with Mary.
Izzy has a lifetime to search, to fall in love, and to be happy.

Friday -
Things begin to get sticky when I, literally, bumped into someone I haven’t seen in awhile. We had taken to the St. Kilda’s Beach for a performance of “the Secret Garden” at the Victorian Arts Center. I had heard it to be spectacular and I couldn’t wait to see it. Little did I know of ALL the surprises that would be store for me tonight…
Right before the show started, Izzy had already gone in and I had turned around for one last look at the setting sun on the horizon behind the Melbourne skyline. The golden rays cast halo around everyone and everything. The view was breathtaking and I was incredibly mesmerized, so much so, that I didn’t realized I had company until it was too late. I turned to go inside, but instead I bumped him.
“Oh, I’m sorry…” I said.
“No, it’s my fault,” an Australian drawl washed over me. I have always loved their accents. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” I said, looking up into his shining blue eyes and sandy blonde hair. I gulped. He’s my airport guy!
So, you see, Diary, just when you think a vacation with your sister couldn’t possibly get more interesting…life introduces you to Trevor Howard!

MORE TO COME....