Stabbings

I wonder if I have become numb to disappointment. It keeps coming just one after another. I dont let many people in, because the pain is too great to bear when they let me down. I thought I had a friend....a best friend there for when things got rough. I was sadly mistaken again. Im so tired. Tired of people inserting the knife and then turning around and smiling like as if to twist it. It makes me so angry, which I guess is better than becoming overwhelmingly depressed. My parents, grandparents, my children, loves, friends have all turned on me. And I mean drastically. Not like we had a little disagreement turned, I mean step on my heart turned. But its scary...I dont want to be mean and bitter and alone like my mother...but Im starting to understand the concept.