Savasana

I was introduced to yoga about nine years ago. At an ABWA convention in Kansas City, one of the breakout sessions was a mini yoga class. We were constrained by business casual attire and the cramped room. At the end, we all relaxed in Corpse Pose, lying prostrate on the floor with just enough room to not be touching. I don’t remember the words she said. Eventually we sat up, and it was the first time I remembered feeling relaxed.

Over the next few years, I tried to find that feeling again by creating a solitary practice. Months would go by between my sessions of “quiet time” as my husband and I termed it. Then I would practice every day again. And even though I rested in Corpse Pose every time, for varying lengths, it was difficult to capture that feeling again. I did come close a few times.

My husband and I moved to a small town four years ago. There is a large community college with a satellite location and they offered yoga classes, advertising in a flyer to all residents. I signed up, thinking it would be a good way to meet people and a good way to stay fit, since I would no longer be taking an aquaticize class with my friends. I have always been a flexible person, and I should not have been surprised to be the most flexible in the class, including the teacher. It is a natural ability that many have envied over the years. My teacher was surprised that I could sit in Lotus pose, but he had strength that I lacked. With the class environment and his recommendations for books and videos, I began a daily practice. I have continued with this practice since.

At the end of the class, the teacher announced he was moving away and he recommended that I take his place. I did not feel, and I was not, ready for the challenge, but I stepped up since they would cancel the class unless they found someone to do it. I was still battling a phobia of public speaking. I didn’t think I had enough experience to actually teach a yoga class. In spite of that, they hired me. Over the next summer I researched everything I could find, buying books and videos and eventually becoming certified. I have taught for three years. In this time I have learned many things, and I still cannot master Savasana, or Corpse Pose. [shuh VAH suh nuh]

Savasana is the pose that is most likely to be named favorite among my students. It seems simple enough – lie on the floor on your back with your legs relaxed (feet flop open) and your arms at a small angle to your body with palms facing the ceiling, keeping your eyes closed. It feels like if they taped your outline, you would be the corpse the pose describes. It can be modified for back pain and pregnancy. The physical posture is not the difficult part of this pose.

My students have it a little easier than I do, I think. I choose a relaxation exercise, and I guide them through it for fifteen minutes or so, depending on how well I timed the rest of the program. They listen, sometimes they fidget, but eventually they let go. When they leave, I can see the effect my class has had on them. They smile and slowly rise from their mats and are more leisurely in their movements. Most of them listen to what I’ve been saying; one, for sure, does not.

I am a little jealous of her. When she lies in Savasana, she does not hear my voice. She is completely relaxed in body, mind, and spirit. She hears my voice somewhere, she understands the pattern of my relaxation exercises, and she awakes at the proper verbal cues. She is refreshed when she rises and always sleeps well that night.

My journey with Savasana is not so well developed, although it is a longer and more dedicated journey. My daily yoga practice always ends with Savasana. I choose not to set a timer, so sometimes it is shorter and sometimes it is longer.

I learn from every pose I attempt in yoga. I learn what I can and cannot do. I learn to accept change. I listen to my body. I have better balance, greater flexibility, and more strength. I am more comfortable inside my skin and my body is arranging itself into shape. My weight has not fluctuated noticeably in the last few years, but it does seem to be rearranging itself because I need to replace items in my wardrobe periodically. Physically, I feel better than I used to – which may seem weird to say at twenty-nine, but it is true.

The physical changes may be noticeable, but my focus right now is not. Many I have run into consider yoga to be merely a set of physical stretching exercises, challenging only to the body. Yoga is an old discipline, intended as a means to spiritual enlightenment. Not all of the factions use the physical postures to get there, but many use them to help guide a person on the path. This is not to be confused with a religion, for a follower of any religion can use the discipline to find one’s own way.

In my practice, Savasana is my first step toward meditation – a relaxation pose used to release the mind as well as the body. I am attempting to focus. I am learning to be quiet. I am trying to stop reacting to my thoughts.

Most days, I fail. My body lies quietly, without twitching or fidgeting or reacting to outside stimuli. My thoughts range far and wide. I hear voices of my friends, my family, my acquaintances, and my characters. There are horrifying images and degrading insults and sometimes just things I would have said or done differently. I hear and see these things over and over. I keep reacting to them and I have not learned to let go.

I see improvement. At times when I visit yoga classes (where I do not teach), I get closer to the stillness of the mind. I am distracted when there is music playing, but it drowns out some of the inner voices. I have noticed when I am bothered by something, it echoes more. When I am agitated or upset, even the smallest details of a situation will haunt me.

On the other hand, Savasana has taught me to take more things in stride. After being rear-ended, the ladies in the ambulance were astounded by my blood pressure and heart rate. Both had fallen to near normal levels for me within the twenty minutes it took for them to arrive on scene. (I was not seriously injured. I asked about my heart rate when they started exclaiming, it was about 72 bpm. The only comment on my blood pressure was ‘awesome.’)

I am learning to let go of anger and am trying to not hold grudges. I have been a champion grudge-holder. I am learning to forgive. I have moved past many of the grudges that I had kept for years. I have also learned to let go of those who influence me negatively, although it is harder than it seems to let go of some.

I am more patient. It is amazing to read articles, sometimes. One of them I read was about patience. A yogi went to the post office; he was originally from India but visiting the United States. During the Christmas season, he was mailing a package. The woman behind the counter made so many mistakes, from the people who were in a hurry and some of them snapped at her. But when the yogi approached, he told her not to rush, he had plenty of time. She didn’t make the same mistakes. She didn’t even make one, unlike the previous several customers he’d witnessed through the line. I try to remember this approach, especially when driving.

The path is long, but I am learning. Every day is different. Accepting the physical and mental limitations of any given day is another challenge, and I meet it as well as I can. Skipping yoga (there have been days) for any reason makes me feel like I’m not at my best. So, I continue my practice. I rest in Savasana, and I try to be at peace.