Stereotypes are unhealthy

I am not just on my soap box, I am stamping up and down on it! My children just watched three movies in row in which one or more of the characters was a foster child. In each of these movies, a correct view of most foster kids or foster homes was not portrayed. All foster kids are not rejects or bad. All foster homes are not just out for the money!

We are a foster family. Yes, the state pays a set amount for each child and helps to buy clothes and feed the children. However, the true amount needed for these kids is no where near what the state gives. We are not compensated for our time, love, or gas for appointments, in many cases. If you think a good foster parent makes anything off the care of a child. You are very wrong. We do it, because we are called to do it. I was an abused child. If foster care had been around when I was a kid, I should have been in it. My husband and I want to give these kids a chance. Foster care is about intervention and education. It is about giving the child a different perspective on themselves and the world around them.

Just to set a few myths straight. Foster kids are smart, normal, loving, healthy children who's lives are chaos. Many do have problems but, hey, you go through what they go through. I'll bet you crack before them! Just because you are abused does NOT mean you have to grow up to be an abuser. Again, the key is early intervention and education. If you only know one way to do something, that is what you do. The stereotype of bad kids and money grubbing, mean foster parents just is wrong!

Children misbehave for a reason. Find the reason, give the child creative choices and you counter act the behavior. No, every child that has been through our home has not been an angel. Yes, we have had some tough cases. No, I would not change any of it. As much as the kids learn from us we learn from them. The old saying, "You can't judge a book by it's cover." is very true. Neither can you judge a child by the circumstances they are thrown into. Remember, the child did not make the choice of how their life has been nor to be in foster care. If they do not have the choices, how are they to blame?