Memories Ch. 1 Tifa's Death

Cloud looked up to the ceiling as hot tears rolled down his face. What in the hell am I supposed to do now? She was the one woman in my life who helped me forget all my pain sorrow after Arieth’s death. I was so close to killing myself but Tifa helped me realize that Arieth didn’t want me to do that that she wanted me to live my life.

         He sighed a painful sigh and looked down at Tifa’s body he leaned down and kissed her lips they were so cold and dry which was weird because Tifa’s lips always tasted so good to him when he kissed them, but now they were just dry and cold. He removed the strand of hair that was covering her eyes. God damnit it is all my fault. I should have been there to protect her that counts another person who has died because of me.  Cloud set Tifa’s body on the bad and decided to go for a walk outside. He did this often when something was troubling him by clearing his head and the air seemed to do him good. When he walked outside he felt the warmth of the sun against his face and breathed in the fresh morning air. I am not worthy to be alive. Why does everyone I love seem to die because of me?  When he opened the gate to the gardens despair began to fill his heart as a memory played in front of him as if he was watching a movie.


         “Tifa I want to ask you something.” “Yes Cloud?” “You know these past couple of years that I have known you has been the happiest days of my life. It feels like every day is spring and every night is summer. I want you to be mine now and forever.” Cloud bends down on one knee and presents Tifa with a ring. “Will you marry me?” Tifa was speechless she couldn’t even scream she was so shocked. Tears of joy began to fill her eyes and she practically tackled Cloud with a hug. “Yes Cloud I will marry.” Cloud put her in his arms and they shared a passionate kiss. “Thank you Tifa for saving my life.”

         Cloud just stared at the spot where two years ago he proposed to Tifa. Tears began to fall down his cheeks like little rivulets and he put his face in his hands. “Tifa I am going to miss you so much. I will never stop loving you.” Cloud at that moment walked up to the bench and it was like he could feel Tifa there and he thought for a moment that he saw her with that beautiful smile of hers. Cloud sighed as the image of Tifa disappeared and despair overtook him. He fell to the ground and tore at the grass as tears were just flowing freely. He didn’t care anymore he wasn’t going to even try hiding them.

         He felt a warm hand on his shoulder and turned around it was Marlene her eyes were red and poofy she must have been crying too. Cloud smiled at seeing her and gave her a big hug and they both cried together. “Cloud, I miss Tifa. I want her back. Why did she have to die? She was a big part of our family and I don’t know how we are going to go on without her.” Marlene dug her face deeper into Cloud’s cloak.

Cloud looked down at Marlene and said, “Marlene, Tifa has gone somewhere where we can’t follow her until we are ready. She has gone somewhere where there is peace and happiness and where she can sleep forever. She will never been blinded by the troubles that we deal with today she is free and will always be free.” “But why did she have to leave now?” “She was ready, Marlene, I also miss her so much.”

Marlene looked up into Cloud’s face and saw all the sorrow and pain that he was going through he loved Tifa with all his heart and Marlene had the horrible feeling that he would never be the man he once was when Tifa was alive. Oh, Tifa you were like a mother to me I will miss you so much. I hope that you are happy and enjoying your everlasting sleep. Marlene looked down at the ground as fresh tears began to fill her eyes again. Why wasn’t he there when Tifa needed him most? Where was he? She thought a moment before asking him what was on his mind because she knew that it was going to hurt her, but she had to ask she had to know.

“Cloud?” He was staring up at the sky when she said his name obviously lost in his thoughts. “Yes,” he said as he seemed to return back to reality. “Why weren’t you there when Tifa needed you most? She was yelling your name in pain. It was so deafening. She wanted to tell you that she loved you and you weren’t there. Why?”

Cloud had started to cry. He looked so weak and helpless unlike his usual self. Cloud felt his legs give out on him and he fell to the ground. He just couldn’t stop crying the tears just kept on coming. Should I tell her? She would hate me so much if I told her the truth. I know she will I hate myself for not being there for Tifa.

Cloud sighed, “Marlene I must tell you that while Tifa was dying I was fighting Kedaj. I heard Tifa’s cries in my head. It was making me mad it was the only thing I heard and I could hardly concentrate on the battle. I just kept on seeing Tifa and hearing her cry out my name my heart cried out to her, but I knew it wasn’t enough. She wanted me there. I wanted to be there for her so bad, but my body wouldn’t let me it told me to keep fighting and not to stop until I killed the son of a bitch. I am such a fucking coward.”

Cloud put his face in his hands as endless tears flowed down his face. Marlene looked at him in distaste. She was so upset with Cloud and Cloud could tell how angry she was by looking in her eyes.

“You made a promise to her you couldn’t keep. How could you do that to her? I thought you loved her, but it is plain to see that I was wrong. She loved you so much and she wanted to help you but you wouldn’t let her in.”

Marlene was so angry that she was as red as a cherry and she wanted to hit Cloud so much no she wanted to fucking punch him. How could he do this to Tifa? He was her husband and in her hour of need he wasn’t there when she was screaming out his name. Marlene just couldn’t understand it.

“I just need to get away from you, Denzel and I, it just sickens me to look at you.” As Marlene got up Cloud grabbed her wrist he didn’t want her to leave she and Denzel were the only family he had left now and he wasn’t going to lose them as well. Marlene turned around and looked into Cloud’s eyes. It was so scary he looked like he was going crazy.

“Please Marlene, I never meant to hurt Tifa. I loved her so much and I still do. Please don’t go you are the only family I have left now I already lost Tifa please don’t go I don’t want to lose you too. My heart feels so empty without Tifa she taught me how to live again and now I don’t know what to do. Please don’t leave I’m begging you please.”

Cloud began to cry again and his grip tightened on Marlene’s hand he didn’t want her to leave. Marlene knew in her heart that she had to leave but her mind was telling her to stay. Damn. I thought I knew what I was doing but now I’m not so sure. But then a picture of Tifa came into mind she saw Tifa yelling Cloud’s name over and over again in pain and desperation.

Marlene removed her hand from Cloud’s. “Sorry Cloud but I can’t just ignore the fact that you promised something to Tifa that you knew you couldn’t keep. Did you know that that is betrayal? Goodbye Cloud.” As she turned around and walked away she heard Cloud crying and shouting her name but she ignored him.

As he watched Marlene disappear through the garden gate Cloud put his face in his hands and sobbed he had lost Tifa, Marlene, and Denzel in the same day he just felt like killing himself but he knew that Tifa would never allow him to do that she would want him to live his life while he still can.


Oh Tifa please forgive me please/. I know that I was a terrible husband I tried to be the best husband and father that I could be but I guess that that wasn’t good enough. I don’t know how I will live without you but I will try.

Cloud heard someone driving up to the house and he heard them knock on the door. He knew that he should answer the door but he wanted to stay in the garden. Tifa’s presence was so strong that it felt like she was actually alive if only for a moment. He didn’t want to leave the garden he wanted to stay there and think about the happy times he and Tifa had in the past. Cloud sighed; I guess I should answer the door.

Cloud opened the door and he was so happy that it was Barret who had come. Barret gave Cloud a hug which was very awkward with his mechanical hand. “I’m so sorry,” he said, “I know how much you both loved each other.”

Cloud led Barret into the kitchen and started to make some tea. As he opened the cabinet and reached for the cups his eyes fell on Tifa’s favorite cup because it had a picture of them on it. Cloud began to cry bitter tears thinking about Tifa and he could’ve sworn that he saw her standing there in the kitchen waiting for her cup of coffee. Cloud sat down at the table and handed Barret his coffee. Seeing the tears in Cloud’s eyes he said, “Thank you for the coffee. Are you all right?” “Yeah I’m just really exhausted right now. I just feel like going to sleep and never wake up because maybe I will see Tifa in my dreams. I miss her so much I don’t know what I am going to do. I have lost everyone even Marlene and Denzel.”

Barret looked down at the steam rising from his cup. He didn’t know what to say to Cloud to make him feel better. He seemed so distant like he was trying to remember every moment he spent with Tifa and if he loved her enough. “So Cloud what are you thinking about doing now?” Cloud looked up at Barret and thought to himself I have never really asked myself that question. I don’t know what to do now. It seems like my world is crashing down on me and taking away every happy moment until I have nothing but pain and despair. “I really don’t know, Barret. If I move Kadaj is just going to follow me and I will never get a moment of peace. I just don’t know.”

“I guess you will have to stay then because we need you here more than ever now that Kadaj has returned with the power to turn into Sephiroth whenever he wants to.” Cloud looked into his empty cup and could swear that he saw Tifa’s face reflected in it. Holy shit, he thought, now I am going crazy. “Yes, I guess that I will stay I have no other choice. I don’t want to bring danger to anyone else. I have already failed the woman that I love.”

Barret looked at his watch and stoop up from the table. “Well, Cloud, I have to go. See ya later.” Cloud walked to the front door with Barret and said goodbye. Cloud closed the door and sighed a deep sigh. Now I can get some sleep, he thought. As he walked up the stairs to the bedroom he began to remember their wedding night.


Cloud carried Tifa in his arms as they walked into their new home. Cloud closed the door with his foot and looked into Tifa’s eyes. She looked into his eyes and brushed the hair from his face. A wide smile came across Cloud’s mouth and he brought his face closer to hers and kissed her. “You don’t know how much I love you,” he said. She returned his kiss and said, “I think I do. You love me as much as I love you.” He looked into her eyes and smiled as he carried her upstairs to the bedroom.

Cloud fell to the ground in despair as reality hit him. Tifa was dead and she wasn’t coming back. He wasn’t going to come home from work and put his arms around her waist and kiss her as he walked in the door. She wasn’t going to sleep beside him every night and he wasn’t going to feel her warm body against his. He looked up and saw his reflection in the window. His face was as pale as a ghost and his eyes were red from crying. He felt some tears on surface of his eyes ready to reveal themselves to the world but he fought them back thinking that now he was just going to sleep which would make him feel better.

He got back up with the support of the wall and he noticed the picture of him, Tifa, Marlene, and Denzel. He sighed my family is now gone, he thought. He walked to the bedroom door and opened it. He immediately plopped on the bed and fell into an exhausted sleep.


“Cloud, Cloud where is he? I want Cloud.” “Don’t worry Tifa; I’m sure he is on his way.”  “CLOUD, CLOUD PLEASE.”

Cloud woke up on the floor not knowing how he got there. I must have been tossing and turning so much that I fell out of the bed. He went to the bathroom and washed his sweaty face with cold water. He thought over his dream, it was so weird. Whose voice was that who was screaming his name? I heard someone say Tifa, but it didn’t even sound like her at all. His mind just seemed to keep on going back to that dream trying to remember if it was Tifa’s voice he heard or not. He missed her so much it seemed like his life didn’t mean anything now that she was gone. As he looked in the mirror he saw a reflection of Tifa’s face not his. His body just lost all of its strength and he sobbed bitter tears of pain and loneliness. He brought his wedding ring up to his eyes kissed it and said, “Tifa, I love you so much. I wish you were here. I need you now more than ever.”

As he finally gained all of his strength back he stood up and walked down the stairs to the kitchen were he made himself a cup of coffee. As he sat down at the table he decided to take a walk in the garden. He rose from the table and walked out of the front door. As he walked towards the garden he immediately felt Tifa’s spirit beckoning him. I have had so many find memories here, thought Cloud. He looked towards the bench in the middle of the garden.

It was August and the sun was shinning through the leaves of the rose bushes in the garden. Marlene, Denzel, Tifa, and Cloud are walking through the garden and they all stop and sit at the bench. Cloud gets his camera and sets it up. Cloud says, “Now everyone say cheese.” Everyone smiles and the camera flashes. Denzel and Marlene go to explore the rose bushes for what they called lost treasure long forgotten. As they watched Denzel and Marlene disappear through the rose bushes Cloud put Tifa in his arms and kissed her passionately. Tifa looked into his eyes and smiled.

Cloud walked towards the bench and sat on it. He rubbed his hand over the spot where Tifa sat not to long ago. Cloud sighed a deep sigh and let the tears come. He had never cried like this before in his life. It seemed to make him feel a little better now for the moment.