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Its not like she chose to be that way, she just was.  It's not like she asked for the life she had been given.  It happens all the time.  People are dealt a shitty deal.  Not that she didn't grow up with all she ever wanted.  There was never a lack of food or clothing or toys.  In fact most people had no idea what went on in her head. They expected her to be happy, so she went about with a smile on her face.  Even at the times when she thought her heart would be crushed with pain, she kept smiling.  Sometimes she would get high in the hopes that she would forget she was alive.  But every time the high wore off she would remember again, and again, and again.  So she tried to forget, she tried to forget her emotions, and the emotions of all the people that cared for her.  She learned that in order to live you had to be cold. Trust is for the naive, crying is for the weak and love is for the foolish.  What a lucky girl she was to have learned so much at such a young age.  And she goes about her days, content with the fact that no one can hurt her.  But then along comes someone, who wants her to trust him, will hold her when she cries, and he wants to love her.  So she goes along with it, hoping that it will also help her to forget she's alive.  And she tries to convince herself that she is falling in love... ignoring the boys she kissed along the way, hoping he will never know because she doesn't want this high to go away... this cheap way of forgetting.  But her money still runs out and she doesn't know what to do.  And she begins to feel helpless, so she tries to think of way to make the feeling go away.  So she sits and thinks, she thinks of the one who loved her and she broke his heart, she thinks of the one she loves, who will, eventually, break her heart... and then she starts to feel foolish, and she starts to cry so she goes out into the night... trusting the world.  She knows she needs to forget but she can't.  She screams at herself for being so small, so small that she can't see ahead far enough to know where she is going.  She screams until all her breath is gone and so she lies down.  And when she lies down she tries to dream, she tries to dream about all the times when she was happy, but she finds she cannot remember.  And she realizes that the life she cannot remember has moved on and left her behind.  So she continues to lie where she is.  And she tries and tries to get up but she can't.  So she just lies there, she lies there and lets it consume her.  And it consumes her.