Another Home for Casey

**** THIS IS NOT PART OF MY MEMOIR SERIES * ** THIS IS A CHILDREN'S STORY**** FICTIONALIZED FROM ACTUAL EVENTS)


ANOTHER HOME FOR CASEY

1


Casey stared out at the rain as it pelted on her window. It seemed to get louder as she packed all of her things into her backpack. She knew what was coming. She was moving again. She knew the drill too -- a new room, a new school, new friends-- and worst of all, a new family would be waiting for her.

She wished she were like other kids in school. They were “regular kids” who had a real mom and dad. Some of them even had brothers and sisters.

She knew she should feel lucky. She had food, clothes, and a warm bed. She just wished it could be her bed and her home. Casey knew she couldn’t wish herself a family though. She sighed deeply as she changed into her best dress, Mama Anna's favorite blue with little flowers. She combed the tangles out of her hair and slipped it into a ponytail.

In the four homes she had been in so far, none had felt more like a real home than this one. Her foster brother Billy sat on his bed now, watching as she slowly filled her little backpack. Mamma Anna would be packing his things tomorrow.

Casey had been with Mamma Anna for a whole year and she couldn’t remember one unhappy moment. Billy had come to join them only a few months ago, but Casey knew she would miss the way his nose crinkled up when someone hugged him.

She remembered a picnic last summer; she had chased a butterfly into the woods and caught poison ivy. Mamma Anna cooked soup for her and rubbed lotion on her skin, so she wouldn’t itch. Mamma Anna was about as good as a real mother could be. Sometimes Mamma Anna told stories about when she was a little girl. The stories made her feel warm and safe and like she really belonged to Mamma Anna.

Casey knew other foster kids and they all agreed, once a child was past seven-years-old, they were less likely to be adopted. She still wished and hoped it could be different and she could stay with Mamma Anna forever. “If I can’t be adopted, why can’t I just stay here?” she cried to herself.

Even without being adopted, she couldn’t understand why she and Billy had to leave. The three of them were happy together. Casey was sure she hadn’t done anything terribly naughty. Mamma Anna said she was getting old, but she didn’t seem too old. She was just a little older than the other mothers at school.


With a long sigh and a lump in her throat, she lifted her backpack onto her shoulder. She took one last look at the little room she shared with Billy and then shuffled as slowly as she could down the hall. She could see Mamma Anna sitting by the window in the kitchen.

Mamma Anna wore the familiar blue apron Casey was so accustomed to seeing everyday. Today a small frown made the creases on her weathered face seem deeper than usual. With her soft wrinkled hands folded neatly on her lap, she looked tired. As Casey neared the kitchen, the floorboard squeaked its loving alarm and nudged Mamma Anna from her thoughts. She gave a deep final sigh, smiled bravely, and beckoned Casey to climb onto her lap. Nestled lovingly in her folded hands Mamma Anna held a picture the three of them taken at the mall just last month.

“I want you to take this with you.” She said with a deep sigh. “You know I love you, Baby Girl.” Casey gave a timid nod. “You are going to be happy in your new home. I’m sure of it,” there was a tear in her eye.

“Yes. Will you come see me?” Casey asked tentatively. She always knew that she never saw her foster mothers again after she moved; that’s just the way it was. Still, she hoped that maybe this time would be different.


Casey hugged Mamma Anna with all her might. She wished deep in her heart that the sun would come out, the birds would start singing, and just like good endings always happened on TV, she, Mamma Anna and Billy could all stay together forever. Mamma Anna hugged Casey just as hard, and Casey could feel their two hearts beating together. Casey inhaled deeply, the scent of roses, Mamma Anna's favorite hand cream filled her heart. Casey thought roses were a wonderful flower, she would always remember this.

“Remember, Baby Girl, no matter where you are or who you are with, strength, love, and hope are all you need.” Casey didn’t mind Mamma Anna calling her “Baby Girl.” It always made her feel special.

Casey nodded as she recited the words, “I’ll always feel your love in my heart. It will help keep me strong and give me hope for a new day.” Casey smiled and promised Mamma Anna, “I’ll remember.” Casey took the little picture from Mamma Anna’s hand and kissed it. “I’ll remember, I promise.” She said as she pushed the picture into her pocket.

Casey gave her a last kiss just as the doorbell rang. She had said she was ready to go, but she knew she never would be. Casey hugged Mamma Anna and Billy one more time.

“Goodbye Billy, I hope you are happy in your new home. Maybe you’ll be adopted soon. Maybe you won’t get too old like me.” Casey closed her eyes as she promised herself; I’ll never love another home as much as this one.


2


Mrs. Jacobs, the social worker, was driving Casey to her new home. Casey sat silently in the back seat of her car and tried not to cry. She wanted to be brave. That’s what Mamma Anna would want, but she couldn’t keep the tears from rolling down her cheeks.

Times like today were the worst, when she didn't know where or what her next home would be like. Mrs. Jacobs said it was another foster family not a group home or orphanage with lots of other foster kids. She said the family had just one little girl. Would they be kind to her? Casey knew that no matter where she went this time, she couldn’t possibly like it as much as she had liked staying with Mamma Anna.

They seemed to drive forever, there was a large lump sitting in Casey's throat. It seemed to be growing. The car pulled up to a great big house with a large front yard. Sitting on the steps was a big shaggy dog and a little girl with pink ribbons in her hair. Was this her new house? Casey’s heart started to race. She had never lived in a house with a dog. This dog was as big as a horse! He looked friendly. Maybe they would let her pet him.

Casey blinked back the last few tears. She wiped her hand on her dress to smooth out the wrinkles. As Mrs. Jacobs turned off the car’s engine, the sun started to shine. They got out of the car and Casey took Mrs. Jacobs’ hand.

The girl and the dog leaped up, bounded down the steps, and excitedly jumped up and down at the front gate.

“Mommy! Daddy! She’s here! She’s here! Hurry! Hurry!” The big dog barked excitedly, but his woofs couldn’t drown out the little girl’s high-pitched squeals. It was hard to tell who was more excited.

A tall man and a woman came out of the doorway smiling and hurried down the steps. Mrs. Jacobs led Casey by the hand. If she couldn’t stay with Mamma Anna, then maybe it would not be so bad staying in this big house that looked like it came right out of a magazine.

It might be fun to play with the little girl and the huge shaggy dog. Casey walked behind Mrs. Jacobs. She was frightened this family might not like her. She didn't have blonde hair like the tall woman and little girl. Casey was wearing her best dress but the little girl just looked perfect. Her ribbons matched her dress. Her shoes were new and shiny. Her little ears pierced like her mother's. Casey wondered how long she would get to stay this time.

“Welcome, Casey, I’m Margaret Wilson. This is my husband, Robert.” The woman smiled and held out both hands to Casey, who was standing shyly behind Mrs. Jacobs.

Casey wanted to sound bright and cheery, but all she could manage was a small, mousy squeak of a “Hello” in a little whisper.

“Casey, you can call us, Peg and Rob or Mom and Dad, or whatever you’d like, Dear. It’s up to you.” She bent down to meet Casey’s eyes.

“Thank you Mrs. Wilson,” Casey replied, always remembering the manners she had been taught.

Straightening up, Mrs. Wilson gestured to the little girl and the dog, “These two on the loud committee are Lindsey and Horse.” She laughed and waved her hands at the pair, trying to quiet Lindsey and her four-legged sidekick. Casey smiled. The dog’s name was perfect.

The group went inside. “I’ll show you our room,” said Lindsey, boldly taking Casey’s hand. Casey followed the little girl and her dog down a long hallway and up a tall staircase.


The Wilsons were kind to Casey. They all seemed happy to have her share their home. The house and yard were even bigger than Casey had first thought. There was a lot of room to play. Lindsey was a great little sister who shared all her toys. Playing with baby toys, however, reminded Casey of Billy. Still, Casey was happy she had such a nice home, even if it was just going to be for a little while.

After a few days, The Wilsons dropped Lindsey off at kindergarten and then took Casey to her new school. Casey met her new teacher who seemed nice. The school was huge, but her classroom was easy to find. Casey met some nice kids.

Whenever Casey started a new school, she told the other students right away she was a foster child. All the kids just smiled. No one seemed to care that she wasn’t a “regular” kid. They all welcomed her and introduced themselves. A few of the girls even invited her to sit with them at lunch. She was sure she would make some friends here.

Still, Casey thought of Mamma Anna and Billy. She carried their picture in her backpack everyday. She knew keeping Mamma Anna close would help her be strong. Mamma Anna told Casey, "Sometimes all you have is hope," so that is what she had, hope that some miracle would happen and she would go back to Mamma Anna and Billy.


3


Most nights before going to sleep, Casey would look out her window at the sky and pray, as Mamma Anna had showed her. Casey prayed that Mamma Anna was well and that Billy was happy in his new home. When she saw the moon, she knew Mama Anna was missing her by the light of the same moon.

Casey was becoming comfortable in her new home. She even started to call the Wilsons “Mommy Peg” and “Daddy Rob.” This comfortable feeling scared her. When she was alone at night, she would cry into her pillow. She knew as soon as she felt comfortable, she would be asked to leave, again. That’s what happened at Mamma Anna’s and all the other homes before.

“I can’t love this home, this family. I want my Mama Anna!” she would sob. She’d cry and cry until she had no more tears.

That was when she usually dreamed of Mamma Anna and Billy all laughing together. After a few nights she dreamed that the Wilsons joined them. They were all laughing, while Horse jumped and woofed happily.

In her dreams, Mamma Anna told Casey it was okay to like her new home. She told Casey she would always stay in her heart and keep her safe. This dream made Casey happy.

One morning after a day of rain, Casey woke to a bright sunny Saturday. She had been in this new home almost a month. Casey was expecting Mrs. Jacobs to come for a visit this morning. Mrs. Jacobs always did that just to check up on things. Casey went out to play in the yard after breakfast. She was teaching Horse how to fetch a stick.

After a little while, Lindsey came out "Casey, Mrs. Jacobs is here." Lindsey picked up the stick and threw it for Horse.

"Thanks, throw it as far as you can and don't let him see where you throw it. Let him find it himself." Casey instructed before she ran into the house. Casey took off her muddy shoes and put them in the entryway. She was always careful to be as neat as possible. She knew some mommy’s didn’t like muddy floors. She knew she hadn’t upset Mommy Peg yet, she didn’t want to start now. Things were going really well. She couldn’t wait to tell Mrs. Jacobs.

She walked quickly in her stocking feet slipping on the shiny floor down the long hall toward the living room. She stopped just outside the door, smoothed down her hair and straightened her ponytails. She had started to wear two ponytails like Lindsey. She was just about to go in when she heard talking.

“I don’t think we need to tell her anything right now,” whispered Mrs. Jacobs. Casey knew it was naughty to eavesdrop, but she couldn’t help it. They were talking about her.

What it was that Mrs. Jacobs didn’t want to tell her? Butterflies fluttered in her stomach. Was she going to have to leave? NO! Not again! Not so soon! It’s not fair! Casey’s heart screamed.

She bravely blinked back the tears that welled up at the corner of her eyes. She smiled brightly and walked into the living room.

“Hi, sweetie, Mrs. Jacobs wants to take you to the park. Is that all right?” Casey liked it when Mommy Peg called her “sweetie.” It was a special name just for her.

If Mrs. Jacobs wants to take me to the park to talk, it must be something bad, Casey frowned for just a moment. It must be really bad news.

“When you get back, we are going to go shopping and maybe we’ll stop for ice cream.” Daddy Rob said with a big smile. Daddy Rob liked ice cream almost as much as Casey and Lindsey did. Casey hardly heard the words. Her mind was busy screaming.

No, No it’s not fair. Think, think there must be a way to stay! Casey’s mind raced as her feet dragged their way down the hall. Casey met Mrs. Jacobs in the front yard and they walked to the park.


4


“Teaching the dog new tricks? You like having a dog?” Mrs. Jacobs smiled.

“Horse is great; he can find the stick no matter where it lands.” Casey smiled.

“He has a good nose?”

“That’s what Daddy Rob says, but mostly it’s just wet,” Casey giggled, trying to push unhappy thoughts from her mind.

“Are you happy living here with the Wilsons?” Mrs. Jacobs asked, as Casey climbed onto the swing. “Do you like your new school? Are you and Lindsey getting along well?”

Mrs. Jacobs was asking a lot of questions. Casey knew now what was coming. She waited for the bad news that always seemed to come. She wondered how long it would be before they took her away  again.

She tried hard to convince Mrs. Jacobs that she loved living with the Wilsons. She told her that last week Mr. Wilson had taken her and Lindsey to fly kites. Casey tried to keep smiling, so Mrs. Jacobs would see how happy she was here. Mrs. Jacobs just smiled and nodded.

Casey didn’t want to sit on the swings. The more she thought about what was coming, the more she felt sick. Why didn’t Mrs. Jacobs just come out and tell her?

Casey thought about asking Mrs. Jacobs how long it would be before she had to leave. She was afraid; Mrs. Jacobs might misunderstand and think she wanted to go. Casey smiled and waited.

“I am happy here, more happy than I have ever been,” Casey said with the biggest smile she could muster. “Mommy Peg even bought matching sneakers for Lindsey and me, just like real sisters.” Just a hint of sadness crept into her voice.

Casey and Mrs. Jacobs walked back to the house in silence and Casey went straight to her room. She knew she was not supposed to run up the stairs, but she had to get to her room before her tears started.

Casey had to think of a plan. She didn’t know why they were sending her away this time. She hadn’t been naughty. Daddy Rob never got angry with her. Everything was going so well. But like all the other times, there were never any explanations. She just had to pack up and go.

That night after Lindsey fell asleep, Casey cried. She didn’t want to go. She had her own special name. She couldn’t bear to leave another home, another family. NO! She wanted this home, this family. Casey wanted to have a strong heart. How many times could she stand having it broken?

She had some friends at school. This was her home now! Lindsey was her little sister! Why did she have to leave? The thoughts raced through her mind all night.

Tossing and turning in her bed, Casey just knew life wasn’t fair. She would miss Mommy Peg brushing her hair before bed. She lay looking out at the moon. She tried to push the sadness away and instead fill her heart with hope as Mamma Anna had taught her.

Casey cried harder when she thought of the little tree Daddy Rob had planted right outside her window. It was so tiny. Would it live through the winter? Now she would never find out. “Mamma Anna, I want to be strong. It’s so hard being brave,” she sobbed into her pillow, wishing that Mamma Anna could hear her. Casey hoped with all her heart that she wouldn’t have to leave.

Casey hoped and hoped until she finally fell asleep. She had another dream about Mamma Anna. Again, Mamma Anna told Casey to be strong, that everything was going to be okay. “Baby Girl, just love your new family. It will work out. You’ll see,” Mamma Anna promised.

Casey decided she would love her family while she had them. She was going to hope for a brighter day. She would try to stay brave and strong and not worry. She knew being brave was not going to be easy, but she would try. She would try very very hard.

Casey waited and watched. No one said anything about her leaving. No one asked her to pack her things. She wanted to ask Mommy Peg but she was afraid to bring up the subject. So she waited, day after day, night after sleepless night. She was beginning to think that all her hoping was going to work. She wasn’t going to have to leave. She started to relax; maybe this time was different, just as Mamma Anna told her. It was going to be okay she thought.



5


One day after school, it happened. As Casey walked home from the bus stop, she could see Mrs. Jacobs’ car in front of the house. She was not supposed to be there. “OH, NO!” she screamed.

Casey ran around the house to the back door. She made sure that no one saw her sneak up to her room.

Casey opened her backpack and put in her dress that Mamma Anna had given her. She grabbed her favorite photo of the Wilsons and Horse from her dresser and shoved it into her bag next the picture of Mamma Anna and Billy. Casey hurriedly changed out of her school clothes and folded them neatly. She pulled on her old jeans and sneakers. Horse sat in the room watching her. He was waiting for her to play with him. She gave Horse a big good-bye hug.

Casey wrote an “IOU” and an “I Luv U” before she took some coins out of Lindsey’s piggy bank. There were still a few more minutes before Lindsey’s kindergarten bus arrived. Casey was sorry she couldn’t wait. Casey took the doll Mrs. Wilson had bought her, hugged it, and placed it on Lindsey’s bed with the note. She hoped Lindsey would remember her.

Casey took one last look at the room Lindsey so happily shared with her. She picked up Lindsey’s teddy bear and kissed him good-bye. “Give this to Lindsey for me.” She told the teddy before placing it on the bed next to the doll she would have to leave behind.

She picked up her backpack and silently crept down the stairs. Horse was right on her heels and almost gave her away. “Horse, Don’t try to follow me. You can’t come. Stay Horse, stay” She whispered as she nuzzled his big fluffy coat one more time. ” He whimpered as she squeezed out the back door without him.

Casey didn’t know where she was going, but she knew if they couldn’t find her, they couldn’t make her move. She wasn’t sure if her plan would work, but she needed time by herself to think. Maybe she should find Mamma Anna. She would know what to do.

Horse’s bark grew softer, as Casey hurried down the street. She remembered there was a telephone in the corner store, and she knew Mama Anna’s phone number. Casey made her way to the back of the store where the phone hung on the wall. She found a milk crate, stood on it to reach the phone, and punched in the numbers. It wasn’t working. Maybe she didn’t have enough coins.

The store clerk came over. “Casey, right? Do you need some help?” Casey remembered Joe from the last night when Mr. Wilson had bought her and Lindsey ice cream.

“Can you dial a number for me?” Casey asked.

“Sure,” Joe took the coin from Casey’s outstretched palm, and she carefully recited the number to him. Joe started to frown. He ran a hand through his thick grey hair as he listened to the phone.

“I am sure that is the right number.” Casey tried to smile.

“I’m sorry,” Joe said hanging up the telephone. “The number has been disconnected. That means the person probably doesn’t live there anymore.” Casey’s face filled with horror. She didn’t know what to do! Where had Mamma Anna gone? Now she was truly all alone. She was frightened.

“Do you want me to take you home? I can walk you back to the Wilsons,” Joe volunteered, trying to be helpful.

“No, that’s okay; I just want to sit outside for a while.” Casey said sadly. Joe watched from the counter as Casey walked out the door.

She put her backpack on the bench outside the store and sat down. She‘d sat here with Lindsey and Daddy Rob just last night. Today, there was no ice cream and no laughing. She tried to think of what she should do next.

Why hadn’t her “hoping” worked? She had loved her family as much as she could, and she thought they loved her. But it wasn’t enough.

Joe said he would take her home. Home? She thought. I don’t have a home. Casey knew if she went back to the Wilsons, Mrs. Jacobs would take her to a new strange house again. She thought about what they would say when they found she was gone. She pulled her backpack close to her and cried.



6


Mrs. Wilson poured coffee for Mrs. Jacobs “The girls will be here any minute now. Rob is on his way home. He was glad to hear you were here.” Mrs. Wilson frowned, trying to ignore the barking coming from the kitchen.

“I’m sure Casey has been waiting for me to come back. Have you told her yet?” Mrs. Jacobs asked as she smiled and tried to ignore the loud barking.

“We’ve been disappointed before. Rob and I didn’t want to say anything until it was settled. It would just break her heart if something went wrong.” There was a quick toot of a horn as a little school bus pulled up to the house. Mrs. Wilson opened the door to meet Lindsey and Horse came barreling past her. Mrs. Wilson quickly grabbed his collar before he could run out the front gate.

“Whoa big guy! Where are you going?” she said as he strained to break free.

“Is Casey home yet, Mommy? I want to show her the drawing I made today,” said Lindsey. She giggled at Horse, who kept woofing and jumping.

“Not yet Cupcake, Why don’t you go up and change, while I put Horse inside until he calms down. He must have seen that cat again.” Lindsey went up the stairs and Mrs. Wilson put Horse in the den. She closed the door securely but he continued to jump and bark.

Mrs. Wilson settled back onto the living room sofa with Mrs. Jacobs. “I’m sorry about all the noise. Horse usually isn’t this loud. I’m sure he will calm down soon.” She tried to smile.

“I understand about not telling her; disappointments can be difficult…” Mrs. Jacobs was saying as Lindsey came running down the stairs.

“Mommy! Mommy! There is something wrong! Casey's doll is on my bed and this paper. What does it say Mommy?" The two women jumped up. Mrs. Wilson quickly read the “IOU” and handed it to Mrs. Jacobs.

“She must have already come home. She saw my car and…” Mrs. Jacobs started to say what she was thinking when Lindsey’s crying interrupted her.

“What’s happened Mommy, where’s Casey?”

“Do you think she’s left?” Mrs. Jacobs asked with a worried look on her face.

“She couldn’t be far. I think I know how to find her.” Mrs. Wilson ran to the kitchen.

“Yes, Mommy. Horse will find her! Hurry!” Lindsey said when she saw her mother with a leash. They ran to the den to get Horse.

Mrs. Wilson bent down and said to Lindsey. “You stay right here with Mrs. Jacobs. It will be okay. Daddy will be home soon.” She gave Lindsey a squeeze. “Okay, Boy, You’ve been trying to tell us that something’s wrong. Now go find Casey.” Mrs. Wilson gave a reassuring look to Mrs. Jacobs, as she and Horse ran out the front door.



Mrs. Wilson opened the front gate and held the leash tightly. Horse looked left then right. He gave the pavement a deep sniff and looked up at Mrs. Wilson. “Go ahead, Horse. Find Casey,” she urged.

“Woof, Woof” Horse barked and ran down the street pulling Mrs. Wilson as fast as she could go.


7

Casey didn’t know how long she had been sitting in front of the corner store. She was sad, confused, and now she was getting hungry. Mommy Peg usually had a snack for her after school. There was no snack today. There won’t be one tomorrow either, Casey thought. Casey’s heart felt even heavier

She sat crying. She heard Mama Anna’s voice in her head, “Be strong, Baby Girl.” Casey knew Mama Anna would not like her running away. Casey knew she had to go back to the Wilsons, even if it meant having to leave them. At least she could say good-bye, she thought sadly.

Casey put on her backpack. She was about to start for home when she heard an unmistakable “Woof! Woof!”

She looked around, and down the road, she saw Horse, straining on his leash, pulling Mommy Peg briskly down the sidewalk.

With tears in her eyes, Casey jumped up and ran toward them. She could see that Mrs. Wilson was also crying. “Casey!” she said breathlessly, and scooped the little girl into her arms.

“Mommy! Mommy! I don’t want to leave!” Casey cried.

Planting kisses all over Casey’s face, Mrs. Wilson said, “You don’t have to leave, Sweetie. You don’t ever have to leave.”

They hugged for a long time before Mommy Peg took Casey’s hand, and let Horse lead them home. On the way, Mrs. Wilson looked at the little girl tenderly and said, “Casey, there’s something I have to tell you. We have decided to adopt you. That’s why Mrs. Jacobs is here.

“She came to bring the papers and tell us it’s all arranged.” Casey stopped in her tracks. “Casey, you will never have to leave. If you want, our home is your home forever. We all love you. We are your family.”

Casey could barely believe it. She had a real mom and dad! Casey hugged her new mom harder than she had ever hugged anyone. "I can really stay?" she asked afraid to believe it could really be true.

"All we need is a yes from you." Mommy Peg smiled.

"YES, YES, YES!" Casey shouted as loud as she could.
When they got home, Mrs. Jacobs explained that Mamma Anna was getting older. She had gone to live with her daughter. That’s why Casey and Billy had to leave.

Mrs. Jacobs handed Casey an envelope from Mamma Anna. Casey took it to her room, so she could be alone when she read it. In the envelope, there was a letter and a gold heart on a chain.


Dear Baby Girl,
I hear you are happy with your new family. I know they will be kind to you. I am very happy for you.
It is your birthday next week, so Happy Number 9. I want you to have this little gold heart. I hope you like it.
I am happy here with my daughter and grandson.
Take care of yourself and remember always to stay strong and have hope that tomorrow will bring a happy day.You will always be in my heart.
Love, Mamma Anna

Casey put the little gold heart around her neck. She threw herself onto her bed and cried.

Lindsey came in quietly and spoke softly, “Don’t cry, Casey. You can stay here. Mommy and Daddy said so.”

Casey sprang up and looked at Lindsey’s smiling face. She scooped Lindsey’s hands up in both of hers and spun her around in delight.

“These are happy tears, Baby Girl!”

The two girls hugged, then ran downstairs to find their parents. Casey saw their smiling faces and ran as fast as she could into their arms.

“Mommy! Daddy! I love you all!” Casey cried. Her tears were the happiest tears of her life.

Mr. and Mrs. Wilson, their two daughters, and Horse all celebrated by dancing together around the room.


The End