Invasion of The Movie Snackers

Invasion of the Movie Snackers

By

Gregory Forster, Jr

2520 Rosebud Court, Carrollton, Texas 75006


Something didn’t feel right.

A “great disturbance in the Force”, perhaps?

Get a grip on yourself, Em, she thought. You’re on your way the the STAR WARS Special Edition Marathon and your brain is messin’ with you right now.
Emily felt no shame in admitting that, even at 29, she was still the biggest fan of “a galaxy far, far away”. And she held no guilt to engage in her normal movie-going routine: grab her big purse, put in change, mini-mirror, lip stick, lip gloss, compact, mascara, wallet, pager, picture of her boyfriend Bobby...and microwave popcorn with soda, all the essentials. No shame in her game.

What Emily didn’t count on was the usher ripping tickets also sensed something was out of place, too. There was something in the air that caught his attention, something that brought back a feeling that was familiar to him. The memory was “teasing” him, staying out of the reach of his full recollection. He hated that.
The usher who some referred to as Mike (since that was the name on his name tag) decided to do some “olfactory experiments”. He just couldn’t shake that familiar feeling that was produced by the smell he caught. After a few “discreet” attempts to lean in on all the buckets of popcorn that accompanied the movie-goers and take a BIG WHIFF it was clear not everybody took to such “scrutiny” so kindly. Forget this, he thought. I need to get to the bottom of this. And I know just where to start.

Emily felt it again and she sat up straight in her seat, losing her concentration on that famous alien bar scene. This is NUTS, Em, she said to herself. You are in the movies, you’re doing the movie thang with movie-thang stuff. What is your problem here?
Then she saw it.
Light played on the backs of movie viewers, intermittently swing left, then right. She froze as she heard the footsteps. No, she thought. No. I am not going to be paranoid. I am going to enjoy myself right here, right now.
“Ma’am. I am afraid I’m going to have to ask you to step out into the lobby please,” said Mike.
“Is there anything wrong,” asked Emily in response
“I certainly hope not,” Mike returned. “Please come with me.”
If it wasn’t for the fact that Emily could quote all three movies line by line of the STAR WARS trilogy she would really, REALLY be pissed off by this interruption.

Mike escorted her to the darkened concession stand directly in front of the theater doors. She really was having a bad feeling about this.
“ I hate to ask this but lately we’ve had to crack down on smugglers of food not purchased at our stands,” Mike said evenly. “Those with unusually large purses and diaper bags must be inspected. If there are no unauthorized items in it, we sincerely apologize and offer 3 free movie passes. If the are items that should not belong in that purse, we take your picture, post it at the box office and ban your entrance to this theater for the remainder of the month. I must ask you to empty the contents of your purse.”
This could not be happening, she thought as she up-ended her purse and shook it. Her Sprite bottle made a dramatic exit from her purse, bouncing off the countertop and onto the floor. All the smaller items soon followed with the butt end of her microwave popcorn bag barely poking out, as if to further humiliate her. Mike finally found the source of the elusive familiar smell and memory. He didn’t feel too good about it either. How can he make this right?
“Listen,” he began. “I make a deal with you right now. You’ll have to leave the theater and not come back until next week. At that time, buy concessions from the counter. Deal?”
Emily now realized her smuggling days were over. She barely shook his proffered hand in agreement and stared walking out.
“Hey,” he shouted at her back. “Your outfit and your hair look really cute, by the way.”
“Thank you, I guess,” she responded and then walked out.
As soon as she was outside she actually screamed in excitement at her being noticed, being called cute. Then a thought came, I wonder what would’ve happened if I stuffed Junior Mints in my bra?