A Broken Heart

Why do I always long for something that is going to hurt me in the end? I hate myself for needing something that leaves me bruised and battered, if not physically then mentally. I wish there was someone who could take all my inner turmoil away....make me forget all my past mistakes...and teach me the joys of life that I have since forgotten. But I always seem to look in the wrong places...putting all my hope into a relationship that fails in the end, leaving my heart broken once again. Why does love have to be complicated? I just can't take it anymore being used and forgotten. I always cause my heart tremendous amounts of misery and end up alone...trembling in the dark afraid to trust anyone I meet because I can't trust myself. People never consider the pain they have caused me. I try to forget but it is always there...lurking in the shadows...eating away at my emotions that are already fragile but nothing matters if your already broken. I always seem to be running but sadly, never reaching my destination. Will I ever get what I want and long for so desperately or will it just be one more wish lost among the stars?