Shine

She looked at me with those big blue eyes that could make the meanest son of a bitch in the world weak in the knees as she asked. I’m a self admitted son of a bitch, but she turns me into a complete goo-goo eyed sucker. She squirmed in her cute, antsy way while she clasped her hands together as if she were a three year old instead of a twenty four year old adult, doing her little pleading dance.

“Pleasepleaseplease” She continued on as she danced for me.

“You know I love you.”

“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease”

“Two thousand dollars is a lot of money.”

“Please Mark, I’ll pay you back, I promise.”

Then the whining began. Imagine if you will, Travis, my girlfriend. She’s twenty four years old, her blonde hair up in pigtails as she begs, pleads and does everything short of offering oral sex in order to get, in this case, two thousand dollars. She won’t throw a tantrum because she knows that will ruin the “cute” act, but I know she’s not going stop with the eyes and the dancing let alone the whining until I fold. She may seem benign, but the girl probably one of the deadliest creatures known to pocket books. I wouldn’t trade her for the world.

“What is so important that you can’t just save your money?”

“I can’t tell you, it’s a surprise.”

“So you’re getting me a present with my own money.”

“For the time being, yes but you’ll get it back. Now fork it over.”

She beamed up at me as she handed me my check book. I faked a begrudged look because I couldn’t just give it to her; I had to leave her feeling a little guilty as I cut her a check for the money. After pulling the check out of the book I looked at her and kissed it, smirking a little.

“I know a little girl who just kissed her next trip to Japan goodbye.”

Her eyes grew wide as her lower lip stuck out and shook a little. God, she was good at that. A quiet sniffle as she stamped her foot, waiting for me to renege on my statement. We looked at each other for what could qualify as a long time before she snatched the check and ran off to one of the back rooms of our condo. I smiled a little, despite being two grand shorter than I was when I had entered the house, coming home had been amusing.

I looked around the living room and was surprised at how clean it was. Travis must have done the work in hopes of buttering me up for that money. Usually there’d be colored pencils on the couch, or dishes of beads on the coffee table, pastels, possibly a soldering iron depending on how ambitious she was that day. I didn’t mind the clutter, but it was nice to see it clean. The room seemed more inviting for me to kick back and watch some football in.

It wasn’t long after I had laid back to relax and rot my brain with some television that I heard the front door close. I couldn’t help but wonder just what she had planned for my money. Maybe she was heading to Japan without me. The thought made me laugh, I could imagine her doing something like that just to spite me. She was a funny girl, rambunctious and spontaneous, a real handful. I couldn’t help but think about the night when she first told me how she felt. It had been about 8 months since we had last spoken and she had just gotten out of a destructive relationship.

The rain was heavy and I was walking home trying to keep my groceries under the umbrella, the darkening sky had just prompted the street lights to come on and I heard footsteps running toward me from behind. I ignored them until I heard my name being called. Turning around I saw this sprite of a girl with bright, fire engine red hair looking like a drowned rat running up to me.

“I knew it was you.” She said.

“Travis… long time no see.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I’ve been in a bad place.”

“What do you mean?”

She looked so fragile, she might have been crying, but the rain obscured it if she had. She fidgeted a little in front of me looking like a frightened mouse before she trembled and blurted out everything.

“I love you Mark Montgomery Reisfeld, and I don’t care if you don’t feel the same way. I don’t care if you’ll only ever be a friend to me, but I love you, and I need you in my life because you make everything right. You’re the only one who’s ever really cared about me and my feelings and the things that make me happy, and after the shit hole of a relationship I’ve been in for two years I know that you’re the only man on earth who cares enough to make me happy, and I want to make you happy. I know with certainty that I love you and I’m sorry if you hate me for this, but it’s the truth and I had to let you know.”

She took a deep breath as her body shook and she began to sob, covering her eyes with her soaked shirt sleeve. At that moment the groceries and umbrella didn’t really matter anymore, and I let them go so I could hold her. She buried her face in my chest as her fingers clung tightly to my clothes. Suddenly everything changed. We had been friends for a long time, close friends even, but we’d lose touch and then meet up again. There had been hints, but I hadn’t dared to hope that we’d ever have any sort of real relationship. But there she was standing right in front of me and begging me for something I’d wanted all along. It was probably one of the best feelings I’d ever had.

Just thinking about that feeling left a smile on my face as I looked out the window, watching a pigeon that landed on the balcony railing. She returned an hour later with bags and headed into the kitchen. I followed after her to see what she had brought home.

“I hope you didn’t spend two grand on food.”

“Oh, well, I suppose you don’t want to see the hundred pounds of fois gras I bought. I’ve always just wanted to roll around in it. I figured a hundred pounds would do the job. Thanks for humoring me.”

“I don’t know how I’d even begin to respond to that.”

She smirked and set about to making dinner. I sat down at the table and watched her, hoping things would still be this happy in twenty years. Relationships like this seem to come along once in a lifetime, I couldn’t even think of the last time we’d argued. We got along well, it was a good match, and the idea of her being with someone else made me bristle.

“How was work?” I asked.

“Fine, it’s a coffee shop. Busy in the morning, sedate the rest of the day.”

“I always know when the rush is over; it’s when you start tormenting me with text messages.”
“You love it.”

“I do.”

“So how was your day?” She asked as she fed me a piece of cheese.

“The same, idiots making idiotic requests, so I have to yell, in the hopes that they get it through their thick skulls.”

She sighed.

“What wrong Trav?”

“You need to quit that job.”

“We have to pay the bills, maybe in a few months.”

“Mark, it’s too much stress. You get what, two hours of sleep a night? I don’t want you to be completely burnt out and miserable in ten years. It’ll end up affecting our relationship.”

“Are you saying you’re going to leave if I don’t quit my job?”

“No, I’m just saying that it isn’t healthy, and I worry about you.”

“I’m fine.”

“Two hours of sleep a night isn’t fine.”

“Do you want to live in this nice apartment? Do you want to be able to do all your fun art stuff and have a part time job at a coffee shop? I’m affording these things for you Travis, it takes money.”

“That’s not how I mean it Mark.”

“I just gave you two thousand dollars and now you’re telling me to quit my job!”

“Mark I’m worried about you.”

I stood up looking at her. It was too much for one day.

“Don’t be worried about me Travis; be worried about what would happen to us if I quit my job!”

She looked at me with tears welling in her eyes as she threw down the towel in her hands and ran to the bedroom, slamming the door. I sat down again looking at the floor. I’d never raised my voice to her before, maybe she was right.

*

The line in the coffee shop had been sprawling when I entered, and I could see her give me a look as I walked in. That hurt worse than the kink I had in my back from spending the night on the couch. I waited, and waited, and waited some more as the baristas filled orders and made sales. Usually I wouldn’t wait through a line like this for anything, but I had to atone for the sin I committed the night before. When the clock hit “five minutes late for work” I was at the front of the line, and Travis stood before me looking mildly annoyed.

“What can I get you?”

“I’d like a double tall Americano and your forgiveness.”

She hinted at a smile and called in the order.

“Anything else?”

“Will you give me that cookie?”

“Give? No. You can buy it though.”

She smirked and was taking the order of another customer before I could blink.

Ungrateful. Two thousand dollars and she wouldn’t even give me a cookie. It’s not that I really wanted the cookie; so much as I would have liked to see she was willing to reciprocate my good intentions. I picked up my coffee and left, feeling her eyes on my back as the door to the coffee shop she worked in closed behind me. The air was brisk and cool as my eyes surveyed the cars passing by on the street. Today would be another long day; I could feel it in my bones.

It wasn’t until late in the day that I received her phone call. I had been staring at the wall for probably twenty minutes, drumming a pencil against the desk. My head hurt from all of the yelling and screaming I had to do at the dolts I worked with.

“Meet me on the roof.” She said.

She didn’t sound as bubbly as usual but in better spirits than she was last night. The phone clicked. Her spontaneity was really frustrating sometimes and I couldn’t help but wonder who was manning the espresso machine downstairs. It took me 15 minutes to get out of the office unnoticed, then sneaking past security guards to get to the roof left me with a brand new heart murmur. I thought I was too young for such a thing. Eventually though I stepped through a door to the chilly high-up air.

She stood near the edge of the building in an oversized, navy blue pea coat. I remember buying it for her, she had drooled over it for months, and when she saw it gone from the store she almost cried, until she found it all wrapped up with a bow at home, at least. As I walked to her, she looked over her shoulder at me and smiled, that mischievous look sparkling in her eye. Her finger beckoned me closer, and I followed. There was something resting in her hands as I approached, but her hands obscured whatever it might be. The air burned the inside of my nostrils as I breathed in the frigid air, my eyes set on her face, her cheeks a ruddy pink. It was entirely inappropriate, but it turned me on a great deal for some reason.

“I’m quitting my Job.” I said.

She turned to me, opening her hands, which held a small black box. The hinge squeaked a little as she opened it producing a wide band of platinum. Her eyes looked up to me with a tentative smile on her lips.

“Will you…?”

I blinked. This certainly wasn’t the way I had planned it. How often do women propose to their boyfriends? On the roof of the building they work in no less? Stuttering a little, my legs went weak, stumbling backwards. I don't remember what happened next, but when I came too she was above me. Her hands clung tightly to my arm, and I saw a flash of silver fall past me into oblivion. I was hanging off the edge of a twenty story building, and this little girl was slowly hefting me back up to the roof. Dumbfounded I just kind of hung there, trying, albeit feebly, to help her. It couldn't be easy, I was twice her size. Taking a breath I looked up at her, she just smiled a little.

“I got you.”