Assignment 8

This is an exercise in ‘showing and telling,’ as well as using the ‘active voice.’

In her book, A Writer’s Workbook, author Caroline Sharp gives the following scenario:

Two women sit at a coffee shop in a busy city. One is amazingly beautiful; the other is not. The beautiful one is agitated, distraught. She picks at her food, lights up cigarette after cigarette. She finally looks the other woman square in the face and says, “I want you to leave him alone.”

Caroline Sharp then states: What does she mean? Ten different writers would give ten different spins on this introduction. What happens NEXT? ... Are they talking about a husband, child, dog, employer, parent, grandparent, the president of the United States?

Your assignment is to write a story of 300-500 words about this scenario. Show the reader what you see. Use the active voice and use the things we have learned about omitting wordiness.

         Two women sit at a coffee shop in a busy city. One is amazingly beautiful; the other is not. The beautiful one is agitated, distraught. She picks at her food, lights up cigarette after cigarette. She finally looks the other woman square in the face and says, “I want you to leave him alone.”

Alicia returns Gloria's gaze but lets the words hang in the air. This time she's calling the shots and she'll say when. Gloria breaks the stare first, looking around the shop as if for support. The lunch crowd has thinned. Across the room a mother is gently wiping her infant's mouth. Near the door an elderly man reads the paper. Not even the waitress sweeping up a stray napkin seems to notice the drama unfolding at their table.

"Did you hear me? I want you to leave him alone. He's no part of this." Gloria grinds out her cigarette in the ashtray.

Alicia smiles as she reaches over and grabs Gloria's pack of cigarettes. She knocks one out, then asks "May I?" She helps herself to the lighter, inhales deeply and exhales in Gloria's direction. "He's part of it now. All's fair in love and war you know."