FIre and Ice

Inside a blackened cloud, I see things of deep despise.
No shining moon, no twinkling stars, it is a deathly night.
I see a shred of sun, it glistens to my eyes
and without a hint of warning, takes away my sight.

The lonely ray of sunlight was a sign of something free,
something still alive without the endless tears or strife.
This, so pure, was never meant for a creature such as me,
for no matter how I try, I will never live a life.

Of all the reasons I'm left like this, my captain was first to blame.
He asked me what I wanted, the one thing that I craved.
He offered me a pile of gold, and after my death, fame,
but all I ever wanted was a rose upon my grave.

The only son I ever had was sixteen years of age.
My captain took him over night to a place all youth would dread.
I don't know where he went, but it had filled our hearts with rage,
and the next time I saw my son, he was in the town square, dead.

To loose a son was hard for me, but to him I did not give birth.
More pain was laid upon my wife; I could see, eye to eye.
I love my wife, but still, I could not leave my thoughts of mirth,
and as I watched, inside and out, my wife, to God, would cry.

The love, I don't remember it, for all I could feel was pain,
so up I rose, to seal my grief, and fought the dreaded war.
Ice and fire was all I saw, my eyes with death were stained,
and many men did death attack, I slaughtered more and more.

And then one day, I stabbed a boy, young and strong and proud.
The death inside my mind was something he did not deserve,
and to this dying boy, I sobbed my story, screaming loud.
In return he told me that he too was forced to serve.

The youth did not have long, and his dying words were these,
"Your passion could be better used, but you have failed to see.
To do good would have brought you warmth, but out here you will freeze.
Sir, I am your wife and son, and you have slaughtered me."

I had betrayed my human trust, so lacking tears I cry.
These men, with family, heart, and soul, so many did I kill,
and with every life I took away, my soul inside would die,
not for my satisfaction; I had done my captain's will.

The crusted blood upon my hands, it blackens every day.
I brought this on myself and every moment shall I pay.
The ice creeps through my mind, and tells me its there to stay.
The fire isn't there to warm me, but to burn my mind away.