Circumcision

Cut it off…

that’s what I’m thinking of doing
ending it
being done with it
for now...
Forever, maybe
I imagine my joy immeasurable
at the thought of getting away
of exorcising myself from the picture
like scissors
I will clip away at the image of us
and round out the rough edges
that have become our framework
I’m ready for a marbleized smoothness
and unending peace
of facing my storms without you
because too often
you were the preface to them
and made them all the more
severe

Cut it off!

that’s what I really want to do
because secretly in my bosom
I still harbor
ill feelings and anger
repressed
and so condensed that
my blood thickens
and refuses to
carry oxygen through my veins
from all the pain loving you
has wrought

Cut it off!

because I fear that I’ll give in again
and each time that I think about you
about us
I am left more unsure as to how I feel
about you, with you and maybe even
without you
but that’s a chance worth taking
because in cutting myself off from you
perhaps
I will be able to overcome
this impoverished despair
I battle against daily
this angst
which you insist is LOVE,
but feels more like concertina wire
holding me down…
Yea,
I think it's time I cut it off!