I missed you today

I missed you a lot today. It was my birthday, but I asked everyone not to get me anything. I didn't want a party either. Things just aren't the way they used to be, I guess.

Oh yeah, Sarah's having a baby, isn't that great! Well, for them anyway. Just another noisy brat in my opinion, some little drooling kid I will probably end up having to watch on the weekends. I don't mind really though. I don't go out much on the weekends any more; just here.

It's beginning to get colder, I've noticed. Pretty soon I'll have to start bringing a jacket and a shovel. I know how much you hate snow. That's one good thing, the new driveway is much shorter than the old one; it takes me half the time to shovel it. Still, I have somewhat lost my taste for winter too.

Remember when we would go sledding at Baker's hill? All the little kids and their parents would laugh at us as we tried to cram ourselves onto our undersized innertube. I gave the innertube to sarah by the way. Her kid might want it at some point and you know how Sarah is always trying to save money... Damn, I sure missed you a lot today.

Did I tell you about work yet? It seems those jackasses think I've been being sloppy about my job. I told them, "there's no sense in mopping so meticulously. The students are just gonna get it dirty tomorrow." I am beginning to hate this new job. Maybe I'll ask my dad if he needs a hand. I worked for him while I was going to school, so i already know the ropes. Besides, it'll pay better than this job. I don't know, I wasn't cut out for law anyway. The legal system in this country is shit anyway.

I finally met the neighbors. Their names are Thomas and Susan Mallory. The little girl is called Meghan. Seven years old, can you believe it? Tragic. And you know what her story is? Hit and Run! As if that wasn't a surprise; the police around here are a joke. Its getting to the point where any drunkard can get behind the wheel and ruin peoples lives.....

Sheri...I missed you a lot today. Really though. I know I say this every day, but today I needed you more than usual. There was a boy riding by on his bicycle, couldn't have been more than eight or nine. He looked just like Jacob. By the way, Jacob... well, he's a fighter, lets put it that way. The doc said most kids his age would never have made it this far. Still...hold on, cell phone.

No, I told you, I don't cry, Sheri. Who was on the phone? Um...Dr. Collings. No, no, everythings just fine. Its just that, well, he went into some kind of seizure and they don't know... I have to get back to the hospital, love. I'll be back in as soon as I can.

No, no I'm fine. Well, maybe just a little, but its okay. There's a plot right next to you. I got to him just in time. He looked at me and I knew he was hurting...but he's not hurting anymore. He's not hurting anymore. Me? No, I told you love, I'm good, I'm a rock, look at me, do I look upset to you? Of course not. My boy is gonna be where he should be. With his mama. His beautiful, loving mama. Ya know, in some ways he might be considered the lucky one. Now he can spend time with you, which is more than I can say. No, I'm not jealous, he's my son! Maybe if you were spending time with another man. I'm just being a pain in the butt, love.

Well, its getting dark. I suppose I should start heading home. Although, it is kind of pleasent here. Quiet, tranquile, peaceful. Not a bad place for a nap. Maybe I'll just lay down beside you for a minute. Hmm, the grass is wet. Ah, well, these clothes are dirty anyway. Yeah, the stars look great. This is like when we were kids. I used to point out the constellations and you'd never be able to see them. We'll do this with Jacob. He'll be better at it I bet...(sighs) Sure did miss you today, babe.

What? Oh, geez. I fell asleep. Just goes to show you, I know where to pick a place of rest, am I right? Sheri, I've been thinking a lot today. Jacob is our son. And because he is ours it is our parental duty to raise him in a family where both his parents can show him that they love him. I mean sure, I could come out here and do this every weekend, but I have always pictured myself as more of a full-time dad. No, don't think of it like that. I would never do that.

Look at it this way, what have I always told you? I said you were my life. You and Jacob. What does it mean if my life is taken from me? It means I am dead, right? I know you hate to talk about death, but just listen for a minute. If a man's life is taken from him, what is he? He's dead. My life, as of September 17, was taken from me. So really, I've just been a dead body, walking around scaring the hell out of everybody. Nobody likes a zombie. Okay, its a joke, but you get the point. A dead man who's been walking around for two months... I don't think this missing you thing is gonna go away, love.


Well hello there, Mrs. Sheri berry, and good day to you Professor Jacob. What? What do you mean? I told you, son, it's okay to cry, if something really hurts you, but I'm much better now. You must have been so happy to see mommy? Wasn't he babe? Yeah, and mommy was glad to see you too, baby bear. Here let me squeeze in right between you two. Well, the rain certainly hasn't stopped me from coming out today. And, by the way, I've made a decision. One that was for the family and for the best. No arguements now. After talking with mom about it last night, we've decided it's best if we all stick together...like a family. I said no arguements, Jacob. Of course it won't hurt... I know it hurt you, baby bear, I know. But this is different. Daddy isn't gonna take any chances. It'll be quick and clean and we'll be together again before you know it.

What do you mean, of course we agreed on this. Well, no, I wouldn't let you do this if it was the other way around, but its different. You guys are all I have and I won't let anything stand in the way and besides... I miss you guys.