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Rated: 13+ · Other · Emotional · #1236866
I think the title says it all. Just stuff from my life
I feel like no one pays any attention to me or what I'm doing. I talk and people interrupt me or just completely ignore me. I'm excited about something and they don't seem to care, if they even give me enough time and thought to listen in the first place. Anything I want to watch gets ignored, any plans I make get changed without consent. I get yelled at for things I don't say or do. I get constantly picked on and then yelled at or hit if I pick back. This is insane. I can't speak without people getting mad at me, telling me to shut up or telling me I can't say what I want. For goodness sake, I'm 22, free and American. I shoul be able to do or say anything I want to and not have anyone tell me otherwise. Instead I never get the chance to be me because I get chewed out for everything. I can't stand this crap. You would think that if someone promised to Love, Honor and Cherish you, they would stand by the vow that they seemed so serious about. All the promises that are made to me seem to get broken. I don't have friends to go see outside of the family, except for his friends. I don't have plans outside of his. I don't have anything he doesn't try to claim in some way. The things that are purely mine, my music, my writing and my school, he belittles. We live with his parents, who I love dearly, but who fight all the time. There is more yelling, screaming, cursing and plain craziness that goes on in this house than any other I have ever been in. I don't know how to handle it anymore. They try to help, but they don't understand whats going on. How can they when I'm not too sure myself. I can't think, I can't breath, I have no where to go to save my sanity. I'm just slowly losing what little is left of my brain. I have no place of my own to go. I have no privacy, I have little independance. I am nothing anymore, nothing but what they think I am. Which I was never before them. Before their pigeonholing me into what I wasn't, what I never wanted to be. I've lost track of myself through being who they want me to be, who they need me to be. Will it ever end? Can I make it? Who am I anymore? I have no idea. I have finally lost my mind.
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