An Odd Job

WINNER of: the Writer's Cramp Contest - Prompt: Write a short story or poem about something outrageous that happened

I wake up on this particular Monday morning knowing that great things are going to happen. I am going to start my hunt for a job.

I am optimistic as I bring in the morning paper and settle down at the kitchen table. Flipping to the classified ads I take a sip of hot coffee, and a bite of toast. Nothing sparks my attention at first. The regular things a guy might want to be. A janitor... mechanic... electrician...

But then, there below an ad for an administrative assistant with a great smile and good fashion is an ad that blows my mind.

Wanted: it reads. One dog sitter. Pay exceptional. Benefits. No experience. Must love dogs.

I am instantly reminded of a movie my ex-girlfriend made me watch, but realize this is a job listing, not a personal ad.

I circle the ad and pick up the phone. Within minutes I have a job. They apparently need no resume or an interview at this particular place. All I have is an address, some easy directions, and a time to come in to start.

When I pull up to the front gates, I am startled to see a large stone castle looming above me. I never thought there were such structures in the United States. The gate swings open slowly, with a long low sound, and I pull up the drive way.

I am greeted at the front gate by a woman all in black. She has very fair skin and ruby red lips. She is very attractive, in a startling, Adam's Family way.

"My name is Morganna," she says.

"I'm Tony," I say. "Nice to meet you."

"Rubix is inside," she says with a half smile. "I believe you two will get along quite well." Her eyes dart to my hair, which I realize suddenly I forgot to comb, and my jeans, which I forgot to change. I'm wearing the rattiest attire I own.

When I enter the castle, I look around, eyes wide. It is furnished like a castle would be. Tapestries hang from the walls, there is a suit of armor pushed against a corner. An iron chandelier with lit candles hangs above my head.

“Excuse me,” Morganna says. “I will go an fetch Rubix.”

I nod and she leaves me in the foyer.

There is a roar from somewhere within the castle and a shriek. I side step to an adjoining doorway and peek through. Just a dining hall. There is a set of stairs straight ahead of me and I peer up into darkness. It’s almost as if the stairs lead no where.

“Here is Rubix,” Morganna says. I turn with a start and scream.

Morganna sits in the jaws of a massive alligator, crocodile, thing.

“It’s quite alright,” she says with an uncharacteristic laugh. “This is how we play,” she grimaces as he shifts her in his mouth. He places her on the ground with a prehensile tongue and she brushes her dress down.

“I’m supposed to pet sit him?” I ask slowly, gawping at the dragon before me. He is panting, and with each pant of hot breath comes the smell of sulfur.

Morganna nods her head.

“The ad said must love dogs,” I say dubiously.

“Oh,” Morganna says with a laugh. “He’s very much like a dog,” she looks at Rubix with love and places a hand on his large jaw. “I will be leaving in about fifteen minutes,” she pulls out a wad of cash and hands it to me. “This is payment in advance.”

I count out one thousand dollars with eyes wide.

After Morganna leaves, I look at Rubix who has stopped panting and has some strange gleam in his eyes. He licks his chops and I swallow hard.

“Hey, hi Rubix,” I say. I can’t keep my voice from shaking.

Rubix lets out a low growl. He licks his massive chops again and I glimpse a row of sharp, stained teeth.

Morganna enters the castle after a day out. She has a satisfied grin on her face when she looks at Rubix who is lying on his side sleeping. Next to him lies the one thousand dollars she had given the nice young man who so willingly volunteered to be Rubix’s lunch. She sits down quietly by the telephone and calls the newspaper.

"Yes, my ad worked wonderfully," she says. "Will you please run it indefinitely?"

Word Count: 758