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by mars Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ · Short Story · Satire · #1211851
A story dedicated by my great friend to me. Inspired by our cat.
The nefarious activities of the Cat in the Alsemma household !

The cat purred sweetly, slunk stealthily down the window sill, slithered behind the rose bushes, and crawled out of the fence ... Stalking the still road, Saturday seemed so absolutely great !

The Lady of the household woke up, time for children's breakfast, some prayer, a cup or 2 of coffee, and some writing to do ! She arose to a glorious morning, happy and content with her children's creative pursuits, the smell of coffee renting the air. A little breeze from the open window made for a refreshing new day ... The magnolias dancing gracefully in the breeze seemed to be listening to some unheard wind symphony that no Beethoven could recreate. Perched on a branch, cooing in adoration, sat a little bird, whose species is unknown, to me at the least ...

In the serene penchant, the meowing cat dragged its feet, smelt the milk in the pan, seemed to be bored with the contents ... Leaped on to the comforting sofa stuck in the nook by the window. Lazily grooming itself in the sunlight gliding through the open windows ... It fell into a dreamy sleep ...

"Dunk, dunk, dunk" the policeman knocked on the rosewood front door of the Alsemma country house.

The Lady of the manor, who was trying to knock in that important email to her dear friend in India, leaped to her feet and threw the door open. In walked the policeman, here goes the tête-à-tête between the mistress of the house and the man of the law:

Man of the Law: Madam, who all stay here?
Lady of the Manor: My husband who is a poet, my 3 kids who go to school, and myself.

Man of the Law: Is that all? Don't you have any pets?
Lady of the Manor: Oh ! Sorry officer ! I did not know you wanted to know of the 4-legged kind too ...yeah, I have a cat, also a pony that we have just now found a new owner for ...

Man of the Law: What color is your cat?
Lady of the Manor: Mm..... Perhaps blackish gray with white spots ...

Man of the Law: Is your cat at home? Has it been home for the last 24 hours?
Lady of the Manor: Yes, it is at home ... Oh, it must have been at home all these hours, why do you ask?

Man of the Law: Madam, sorry to bother you, but could you please verify and confirm if your cat has been at home last night, between 11:00 PM and this morning 2:00 AM.
Lady of the Manor: Oh, what kind of question is that? It surely must be, where will it go? You are being so funny, officer.

Man of the Law: Madam, please try to understand - I am not accusing your cat of any wrongdoing, but there was a brawl in the bar at South Street between 11:00 PM last night and 2:00 AM this morning, and one of the revelers has scratches that run a mile across his face, chest and his back. On inquiry, we came to know that he and a cat had some ego clash over some drinks and that the cat scratched him up badly.
Lady of the Manor: Oh, my God, my cat is an innocent little sweet thing. It would never do something like that. I am sure it must have slept like a baby in the children's room, all of last night.

Man of the Law: Can I see it? Is it at home, now?
Lady of the Manor: Of course. Of course, where else would it be?

In the officer and lady went into the study. The cat was fast asleep in the sofa. The officer walked near the cat. The lady looked on protectively. She was standing close by, the officer bent low to the level of the sofa, and looked keenly at the sleeping cat. He inspected the toes and nails of the cat. The cat lay still, not a twitter nor a meow. The lady was surprised, and stared at the still cat. She thought to herself, "Is it really so fast asleep that it does not shriek shrill at the touch of a stranger?" The lady was amazed. It was so unlike the cat, it did not even whimper ... "My, my - something is really fishy" so thought the lady. But she concealed her surprise, and let the officer complete his inspection.

Man of the Law: When did you last see him groom himself/herself?
Lady of the Manor: Oh, no, he was disinterested in his milk and slept. Poor baby, it must be hungry. I shall give him his cat chow, once you leave.

Man of the Law: Oh, well, he seems to be harmless, and too innocent to commit such an act. Can you vouch for his presence at home all throughout the night, and sign this form?
The cat peeped at the officer from the corner of its half-closed eyes. The lady of the manor now knew that her cat was not innocent after all. But she had to pretend that all was well.
Lady of the Manor: Yes, oh yes officer, my cat is too sweet, it would never do something like that, and it was at home all through the night. Let me sign it.

She signed the paper and the officer left after bidding good bye. The lady of the manor walked into the study and stood by the sofa, staring at the glistening fur and yelled at the top of her voice,

Lady of the Manor: Enough ... you pretty cheat, stop that playacting and up you get ... I am going to give the trashing of your life ...

The cat rose up groggily ... Meowed and blinked an eye at the mistress ... And royally turned its back, flipped on to its tummy, and started to groom itself again.
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