what happened?

I sit alone in this obscure room,
Listening to the lovely everlasting gaze
A light is produced equal to the moon
Sedation now would be such a waste

I yearn for this ink
Paper is my drug, my sweet addiction
Writing, sighing, and beginning to think
Of how I let go of all that ambition

Dark clouds are coming upon me
My heart is racing and my head is pounding
Loss replaces wishes
Of one peaceful existence

I wish for the gift to be oblivious
Unaware of my million afflictions
But they are recognized and I am left impotent
Dazed and confused, trapped in a prison