Snatched By the Sandman

I miss her lots.

I miss her more than I can even tell Teddy. When I'm with Mummy she makes sure I get tucked up in bed before she goes to bed herself. She's always tired, but I think it's just because she loves me. Mummy cares about me being tucked up in bed; she always gives me a nice night-night kiss too. I don't like it when Daddy forgets that. He should tuck me up and kiss me like Mummy used to, although he could never be as nice as Mummy.

Sometimes I won't go to bed when he says I must. I don't like the dark. The monsters like the dark a lot, and I think they hide and wait for me. They hide in the shadow. Sometimes I know that my shadow isn't a good shadow like Mummy says. It's the monsters, back again. And the monsters are scared of my Mummy, but they're not frightened by Daddy. Ever. That's why they come when he doesn't tuck me in with Teddy.

Daddy never remembers anything. He doesn't even know that I like it best when Teddy the teddy's all cosy and tucked up in bed beside me. Mummy would: I know Mummy would. But she's not here now. I'm not sure why she's not here. Daddy won't talk to me about it. He just says that I'm "too young", and it doesn't make any sense at all. She should be here with me, tucking me in with Teddy. Why isn't she here to tuck me in, to tuck me in with Teddy and give me my night-night kiss? I need her here to tuck me in and tell me that the monsters won't come.

I don't want to go to bed yet. Daddy will leave me alone, and then I'll just have the monsters as company. I lost Teddy yesterday, and he says he simply doesn't have the time to help me find him. I won't go to bed until I have Teddy.

Daddy's watching me now. I can see he's frowning, even from here.

"Kayleigh, why aren't you in bed yet? It's very late. I'm sure Teddy's tucked up in bed waiting for you."

I give him my fiercest glare and return, "Teddy's not there. I told you. Teddy's lost. I need you to help me find him!"

"I've told you already. I don't have time. I'm busy! Daddy's busy."

Mummy used to joke about Daddy being "busy". She'd tease him in front of me. She said that there's being busy, and then there's being busy. I don't know what that means, really. But I don't think it's fair that he refuses to help me look for Teddy when he's only watching television. I really need to find Teddy.

"I won't go to bed," I toy with my best little girl pout. I know when he's not listening. He turns up the volume and just shouts over it from time to time. Maybe he misses Mummy too. I think he does, although he made her go away. He'll get a beer soon. Then he'll shout louder over the noise of the television. It's already quite loud. My voice is quiet. Daddy can't hear me now, but I don't think he would listen even if he hadn't turned the television up so loud.

I need Teddy. I always feel braver when I can cuddle up Teddy in bed, even now Mummy is never here to tuck me in. I suddenly want to shout and scream and cling on to Daddy's leg and tell him that I'm not going to sleep until I he helps me find Teddy, but I know he'll be really angry if I do that.

Funny flashes of colour. I rub my eyes. Sleepy.

I know I'm slipping into sleep, although I can still see the flashing of the television screen. I don't know what Daddy's watching, but I'm sure Mummy wouldn't like me watching it too.

I'm not sure what's happening on the television screen now, but I can hear something. I'm still not quite asleep yet. Somebody's screaming.

I'm screaming.

Why are they screaming? I think I'm screaming because they're screaming, and it's sort of scary. Usually it's bad when a person screams. I glance over to my Daddy, blinking with sleep pulling my eyelids down. He's got his beer, and he's staring at the screen. He's not screaming, but I am. I wish I could just be tucked up nice and warmly with Teddy, and that Mummy will come and tell Daddy off for letting me stay up so late at night. It is late, because outside the window it's all dark. Daddy's not quite closed the curtains yet, and it looks very black out there.

I really don't like the dark.

There are pictures in my head. A little girl - she looks just like me! She's in a van. There's a man, driving them away. I don't know where she's going. She's screaming and crying. I want to reach out and take her hand and rescue her from the bad man.

Something rough is cutting into my hand. Something's definitely touching my hand. It's not Teddy. Teddy's fur is soft and nice to touch. This is sore.

I wonder if it's possible for someone to forget how to breathe. I don't think Mummy would think so, but I'm not so sure now.

I gulp.

Did someone pull the plug on the air?

My mouth's covered. My hands are stuck together. I want Teddy. I want Mummy. I want to know why it hurts to move my head, because it does.

It's all dark. Like the poster of the Milky Way on my bedroom wall, but that has bright stars and colourful planets. There's no light here, and I wish I understood why the light's gone.

"She'll be okay. I think she's hit her head, but she'll be fine. Kayleigh, can you hear us?"

I can hear you. I'm trying to stutter a reply, but I can't. My tongue won't let me. It won't behave itself. I'm getting frustrated now, but my tongue won't let me form words.

"I knew it! I should never have let him have her! Haven't I proven that he's a useless old bastard? Don't you understand? She could've died and he would never have realised! For God's sake, can't you see?"

It's Mummy. I recognise that voice; it can't be anyone else, it just can't. I'm getting all confused now, but Mummy's back. Mummy's back again. She'll pick me up and hug me, and she'll find Teddy. I feel safer now, although I can't make any sense of the people shouting around me.

"This is a mistake!"

Mummy. That was Mummy too. I'll always know her voice. I need her to hug me now, and tell me it'll all be all right soon. She doesn't need words to say that, though. Her hug would be enough to tell me I'm safe. Mummy can always make it all better.

"There's no mistake. We can see the game you're playing. What this girl needs is to be looked after. And what's more, I'm going to make it quite clear to my superiors that neither you nor your husband is the person to do that. You've both proven to be incompetent and irresponsible already, thank you. That's quite enough. Are you blind? This girl's gone through enough already. I'm hoping you're going to co-operate with us now. There's little else you can do. We have evidence. We have enough proof to show the danger you've put this child in."

"What are you trying to say? I'd never harm my child! Someone - let me see her! Kayleigh will want me to cuddle her. I know she feels better when I hug her."

"I'm sorry, Mrs Sonndermann. I can't let you do that."

"I want to see my child! I need to see her! You can't do this to me."

"You had a spare key, didn't you? I don't think he knew what you were going to do, but you wouldn't have needed him if you had that precious key. You went in and took your child back, didn't you? You went against the law and you snatched her away as she slept. Your husband wasn't watching over her, so you went in and took her. They were both asleep, and you grabbed the chance."

"I'd never hurt my beautiful little girl."

"I'm sorry. It's my responsibility to protect your daughter now. You've done enough, don't you think?"

"This is all a mistake!"

"We've been over this before. There is no mistake. You thought you knew better than the system, than the law, and you kidnapped your daughter."

I don't know who the person Mummy's talking to is. I've never heard that other voice before, but my head's hurting and I just want my Mummy to make it all better like she always does. I brush a tear away with my hand. My hands are free now, but I still can't breathe. In, out, in. I wonder if this is a nightmare. Sometimes monsters chase me when I sleep, and then my legs get all tired and I can't run anymore, and I fall over and I can't breathe, and it all goes black and scary.

Why doesn't Mummy wake me up? Why can't I hug her and Teddy? I don't like this. I can't see the monsters yet, but it's scary, and I don't like it at all. I'm scaring myself now. The light was coming back, but now it's going away again.

I don't know what they mean when they say that Mummy kidnapped me. A kid is a baby goat. I'm not a baby goat! And a nap is what I have when I'm tired. When Mummy tucks me in and gives me Teddy to hug and tells me the monsters won't return.

I'm trying so hard to remember what was happening before everyone started shouting and it went all dark and the air went away. My head hurts more now, but I want to understand. None of the shouting people are telling me what's going on. I want to know what's going on. Teddy can't tell me, either. I think Teddy would have told me if I'd found him again, but Daddy didn't help me find Teddy, and now I'm here, and Teddy's not. I wish I knew where Teddy was. I was curled up on the armchair and Daddy was drinking his beer on the sofa. He had the television on. I wanted him to come and find Teddy - that's right! I wanted him to help me find Teddy, because Teddy was lost. He wouldn't come and help me find Teddy, and I was sleepy. I think I fell asleep. There was the little girl like me, and she was screaming. Maybe she was from the television. She looked just like me. I think this is a bad dream. I think that I dreamt it all and Mummy will be back soon and she'll wipe my tears with Teddy's golden paw and hug me tightly and make it all better. Make it all better. Mummy's magical that way: she's the only person who can always, always make it all better.

The strange voice again.

"Your daughter's in shock. I've got to take her, and you've got to go with that officer over there. They all mean well, but they all do the same thing. You kidnapped your daughter. I only hope she thinks this is a nightmare, for your sake. Can you imagine what she'll think of you when she's older? We left her with her father for a reason, and you know that. I know you know that. You've been in quite a bit of trouble already, haven't you? Well, you haven't made it go away. You've made it worse. I don't care if you meant well, but the facts remain facts."

"I didn't kill him!"

Mummy?

"You didn't mean to kill him. But it got too much for you, didn't it? He was going to tell your husband about what the two of you had been getting up to. You just wanted a bit of fun. You didn't want to lose your marriage, because if you did you knew that that would mean losing your daughter. I know you love Kayleigh, and that's why I want you to step aside now. Step aside. He was going to speak up, and so you threw the lamp at him. He fell, didn't he? He fell, and he didn't get up. And you ran right back to your perfect little family, your loving and unsuspecting husband and little daughter. I don't know; maybe you didn't know he was dead. We caught up with you. We took Kayleigh - for her own safety. Do you remember now? Your husband has been negligent, yes. That didn't mean you had the right to snatch your daughter back again. We took her from you for a reason, and now - look at what you've done. We only want to help you and your daughter, Mrs Sonndermann. We're going to take Kayleigh now. She'll be fine. We're going to help her."

I don't understand! Mummy, I want you! I want you, Mummy, I want you! The strange voice hurts my ears. I don't like it. I wish I could sleep now, because I don't want to hear that strange voice.

"She screamed, didn't she? You didn't think she'd scream, because you're her mother. But she screamed. You woke her from sleep. You woke her when her father had been letting her watch horror films. No doubt that was enough to scare her. Were you watching the late night special before you went to fetch Kayleigh? The girl who gets abducted and taken away by her father. Ironic, really. You snatched Kayleigh in her sleep. She screamed, so you gagged her. You drove her away."

Mummy...I don't understand!

"She's my daughter!"

"You broke the law. We granted your husband custody, and you knew that, yet you took her. We have to take her again now. You understand that, don't you?"

"You can't take my daughter from me again!"

"We want what's best for your daughter."

"- to be separated from her mother?"

"You've showed us just how unfit you are to be a parent, Mrs Sonndermann. We'll take care of your daughter now."

I want to sleep, but I can't. Everyone's shouting around me. Loud voices. Mummy's gone. I can't hear her voice anymore. They're all strange voices, all around me.

Where's Mummy?

I thought Mummy would always make it all better. I want my Mummy. My eyes are all wet and Mummy's left me alone.

Please, Mummy. Don't leave me alone.

Mummy?