Friends with Benefits

I saw you contest and thought boy could I rant. The rant is about the male species, but one in particular and being the type of person I am I’ll not be using his name just other names I come up for him along the way.

This started out about a couple of months ago when I finally got up the nerve to tell this twit for a brain male that I have noticed him for a while and have developed a crush. He responses back that he too likes me A LOT. He was impressed that I got up the guts to write him and tell him.

Here’s the catch he tells me that he has swore off any commitments since 2004 and the most he can offer me is friends with “Benefits”. I like to add at this point things were looking down hill for me at this point. He then proceeds to tell me his past and yes I agree that bat-brain did make some very poor choices of the opposite sex. Ok, so he is a complete moron for picking these girls. What can I say he is a guy and only think with the head in-between his legs and not the one on his shoulders.

Now down the road we talk and he invites me out to dinner with him and a bunch of his friends. I like the idiot that I am go. Personally I think it was a test drive to see how well I could handle it and talking with him. I went, we talked; it went what I thought very well. He was surprised I think how easily I could talk about non-female topics. Wrestling, comic book, sci-fi and fantasy. I find it easy because I just happen to like the things mentioned. He makes the suggestion about getting together this time with out the unterouge. I start to get giddy and agree to this. Maybe there is something there. How wrong was I.

We talk on line and such. I’m getting a little more the inpatient. It is like the come here, go away. Come here, no, no sorry go away. Gees, I though these things were easy. You like the person or you don’t. If you want this person you try to find ways to be with that person. Not go I really like you a lot, but… But what you over grown one brained ameba! But nothing! You make yourself out to be this wonderful, sweet, kind, caring, smart, and passionate person. He even loves cats. What a crock of bull. Wait, I think maybe you are over reacting, give him a chance.

I figure I’ll be the one to ask him out. A ten-minute peep talk into the mirror about, “I can do it. Go for it girl.” I manage to ask him. There is nothing for a bit and then he is telling me he would but not sure when. He doesn’t want to double book any thing. Ya, sure. You’re just to chicken shit to say, “What I thought I felt was wrong. When you told me I was surprised and faltered and that got mixed up with how I felt.”

You know if I did choice the friends with benefits he would be phoning me up to see when the next time we could get together. This to me is what I call “phone a fuck” I’m by no means a call girl that comes over just to get your rocks off. I’m a person and have more sense of self worth then being some one personal blow up toy. What is this, I’m good enough to shag with but not good enough for anything else. What kind of person does he take me for?

Is this what he wants me to say, “That’s ok dear, do what you want then roll over and go to sleep. While you’re asleep I’ll sneak out so you don’t have to worry about then cuddling or talking after sex. That would be such a bother for you and I don’t want to be a bother.” NOT!

Am I suppose to feel completely grateful that he really like me a lot and that means I should go on my knees and give him a blow job? Do I look that desperate? Do I come off to be a complete and utter pea brain? What makes him think for one second that this is going to happen? Sorry no amount of alcohol can convince me that sleeping with him just for his own gains to get laid and have to strings attached. The saying that comes to my mind is an old one but so true. “Why buy the cow, if you can get the milk for free?”

What I thought was a good guy now looks like some boy with multiple personality disorder. His Jeckle side is one sweet, caring, fun, charming guy, then this Hyde persona comes out and no don’t want strings, no don’t want to commit, just want to fuck you and be done with you till the next time I need to satisfy my male urges. Were does this cretonne of a man think of me. That I’m some simpleton that may think that if I have sex with him he’ll really into me. He has to like me because we are making love and pigs fly.

Is this what I have to look forward to in my life in what we call the male species? A single-minded animal that it only thought is how to get laid? Will they do anything for it? Well, almost any thing for it. They will lie, confuse and use you for their own gratification. Sorry this girl isn’t down with that. You want me you earn me. That means you earn my trust, my respect and my affection.

I still find it hard to believe that I like you a lot can get him into my bed. Then I may not hear from him till the next time. This is what you can a friend. Sorry, a friend is some one you call, talk to, see once in a while when you can. There is a commitment to just being a friend. You are concerned about them. Are happy when they are happy and feel sorrow when they are down. Not just give you a call when you need a screw. That is not a friend with any benefits. Ok, he gets laid and the benefit, but what do I get. Something that another “friend with benefit” gave to him. Is this my benefit? Wow, what a great benefit for me.

Men are dogs and that is that