Barney and George

This is a tale of Barney and George and the night they went to a black-tie gala.

Barney and George had been friends for most of their lives. They went everywhere together and usually caused problems everywhere they went. They didn’t mean to cause any trouble but trouble seemed to follow them.

They had just flown into Potomac, Maryland and were very travel weary. Despite being tired they decided to go to the “Tzedakah Ball”. There were posters all over town advertising the 18th annual Best Buddies Ball to benefit the intellectually disabled. What better place for two buddies to find some entertainment. The gala boasted both a live and a silent auction, cocktails, seated dinner and Blondie as the live entertainment. This year the event was also to kick off the Best Buddies Israel Leadership Fund.

George and Barney headed to the Shriver’s lawn. The hosts of the party, Sargent and Eunice Kennedy Shriver, had once again donated the use of their illustrious home for the evening. There was a “big tent” set up for the occasion. It was the black-tie event of the season. Anyone who was anyone was there, about 800 guests were expected this year. From celebrities to government officials they were all there to support the worthy cause.

George and Barney made the rounds, more to check out the lay of the land than to stop and “chat” with anyone there. It was cocktail time. Pennie Abramson and Annie Totah, the chairs of the event, were seen enjoying some of the donated wine from the “Buddy Cellar”. No one heard what was said but somehow Annie’s wine ended up on Pennie’s dress.

George and Barney rushed over to get a good spot. They were just in time for the sit down dinner. Dinner was a masterpiece, succulent meat, delicious vegetables, and wonderful desserts. George and Barney ate until they were stuffed.

After dinner the live auction began. George and Barney decided to mingle with the other guests since they were not going to enter the auction themselves.

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, the Israeli Prime Minister from 1996 until 1999, and Anthony Shriver, the founder of Best Buddies International, started a bidding war with each other over a pair of “American Idol” tickets. It was the darnedest thing to see. Each was waving their auction paddles in the air in frantic desperation to out bid the other. The auctioneer could hardly keep up with the frenzied bidding. First one, then five thousand, then they were up to ten thousand dollars.

George and Barney couldn’t believe what was happening, not only had the distinguished gentlemen been trying to out bid each other but they had been trying to “swat” George and Barney while they made their way through the crowd.

Finally the man who was, from 1993 until 2003, Chief Rabbi, the Honorable Israel Meir Lu stepped in and bought the tickets for fifty thousand dollars. Afterwards he announced, “If you both must have these, then take them and go together.” The crowd laughed and cheered at the diplomatic solution. Both men were a little red in the face but accepted the tickets graciously.

The auction concluded, without further incident, netting the Best Buddy cause a tidy sum. The music on the temporary stage started, and Debbie Harry started to sing. “Once I had a love and it was a gas, soon turned out had a heart of glass.” The guests began to dance and sing along to the beloved tune. George and Barney decided to join in but once again there were problems. David Caruso was seen making some gesture to Governor Schwarzenegger. In the end it was just a misunderstanding but there had been a few tense moments, more between fans and supporters than the two men.

George and Barney had to resign themselves to only watching the gala for rest of the night, after all, they were just flies on the wall.

[I would like to most humbly apologize to those who I have mentioned by name. I am sorry if I offended you by using you in my fictional account. I wanted to use a real life event and the Best Buddies Ball seemed to be the perfect event for my made-up story. I am sure no flies will spoil the real gala.]