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This tale of love and the afterlife is through a comic play. |
Have a Day! INT. Act: 1 Scene 1: A stage Cleveland walks onto a stage upon that is empty. He is holding a sheet of paper with the poem,"I Do Wonder", on it. CLEVELAND I will now recite a poem by the now passe poetic, Edward Reep, called "I Do Wonder". (reading from the poem) Winter's snow a upon. The sweet things around I like, and make me think it does. I wonder. I wonder about where it came from. Where it ends. Where I end. Where came from I did. For all the snow knows the Glenson. Ruf. Ruf. Ruf. Why? Wonder. Wonder I do. Ruf. Ruf. Ruf. Ruf. Arr, matey. Wonder. Wonder. Wonder. Wonder. Wonder. Wonder. Wonder. Wonder. Wonder I do. Bark. Cleveland then takes a bow. Larry walks onstage. LARRY That was quite a poem you performed. I enjoyed it. CLEVELAND You did? LARRY Certainly. It is a great piece. Interesting indeed. CLEVELAND Does it make one think? LARRY I think it does. CLEVELAND That's good. LARRY It did pose a question to me, though. CLEVELAND What? LARRY What happens, when we die? Cause I don't like having that question unanswered, and I don't want the wrong answer. CLEVELAND Well, Larry, it's about personal belief. What ever you believe is true for you. LARRY So, are you saying that I need to find what to belief, and it will be true for me. CLEVELAND Exactly. Go out. Find what you like best, and you shall have that. LARRY Thank you very much. CLEVELAND You're quite welcome. Larry walks off stage. End of scene 1. Scene II: The Apartment of Gleaso Gleaso and Larry are sitting at a table in the apartment. LARRY You have been my friend for 10 years. GLEASO And counting. LARRY I have come to ask of you an important question. GLEASO What question? LARRY What happens to you, when you die? GLEASO Well, I believe that what happens to you is that you pop out of existence from your own view. You are nothing. Remember what it was like before you were born? LARRY No. GLEASO That is what it's like, when you die. You cease to exist from your perspective. LARRY I don't like that. How can you believe such an item? GLEASO It's what's most logical. LARRY I disagree. That's not what I am going to believe. GLEASO Very well. Do you want to talk about something else? LARRY Okay. GLEASO There's a problem with the vegetable retailing industry. The vegetables don't taste as good they should or used to. I think that's a problem that needs to be rectified. I am going to write a letter to the vegetable retailing industry telling them about this lack in taste. Vegetables should taste good because they are what make Chinese food worth all that money. LARRY I see what you are saying, though I must disagree. Vegetables taste absolutely fine and are much better than what was yesteryear. Chinese is garbage to begin with. GLEASO Very well. Would you like a glass of bottled water? LARRY I'd like a bottle of it. GLEASO Very well. I shall go and bring back a bottle of Hydreogen 2 Oxygen. LARRY Thank you very much. GLEASO You are quite welcome. Gleaso walks off stage and comes back with a bottle of water. GLEASO Here you are. A bottle of water. LARRY Thank you very much. GLEASO You are quite welcome. You sure did say it. Scene 3: A church Preachera is at a church podium. The podium is facing the audience. Larry walks up to him. Preachera will always look at the audience for Scene 3. PREACHERA (to the audience) I ain't that old, and neither are you. We better sing the midnight song maybe. LARRY (to Preachera) Preachera, I have a question. PREACHERA Ah, Larry. The one, who never went to this church at all. LARRY Sorry very much so. PREACHERA How may I help you? LARRY I have a question. PREACHERA I'm a preacher. You questions are the desire of the profession that is mine. LARRY What happens, when you die? PREACHERA That depends on your life. At the end of it all: If you were a unbad person, you would go upor an eternity of bliss and the like. If you were a bad person, you'd go down for an eternity of unbliss. LARRY I don't like the idea of eternity. PREACHERA Well, that's what I, and those that follow me believe. LARRY That's something I won't believe. PREACHERA So, does every human cease? LARRY I don't believe that. PREACHERA Then what do you believe? LARRY I dunno, and what if I don't want a final end but don't want an eternity? PREACHERA I dunno. I'm a preacher. I do what the unbad book tells me. LARRY Okay. Thank you very much. PREACHERA You are quite welcome. I also want to inform you of something else. LARRY What would that something else be? PREACHERA Inanimate objects are being married by people with little time on there hands, being ones of irresponsibility. It is ungood. We need to stop these people from wasting precious time with frivolous marriage between inanimate objects. This effects me because I am a preacher and therefore, must carry out these marriages as my duty to the state. LARRY I see. What can I do to stop these people from exercising an action that hurts no non- consenting other. PREACHERA It hurts people. These people have important jobs like firefighters or police officers. People die because of unnecessary matrimony. LARRY That doesn't sound good. PREACHERA It is ungood. We must stop them, and you can do that by signing this petition to allow me to choose not to marry someone, even if they are legitimate and ask nicely. Preacher takes out from under the podium a petition on a piece of paper that has maybe three other signatures. The preacher puts it on the podium. Larry takes out a pen and signs. PREACHERA Thanks a bunch. LARRY Welcome. Have a day. PREACHERA Have a day indeed. Larry walks out of the room. Scene 4: Larry's Room of Reading Larry is sitting in his reading room and is reading a book. He then puts it down. LARRY That is quite a dilemma. I don't want an end. I don't want forever. Vol comes onstage. VOL I am a being known as Val. LARRY Hi, Val. VOL I have come to tell you that I will present you with a belief of the afterlife that will work out perfectly for you. LARRY What? VOL First, you must fall in love. Then I will tell. LARRY Okay. Vol walks off stage. Re walks onstage. RE I am a being that can only be seen by you known as Re that, and I am here to tell you of someone, who may be that special someone, who you as a person may end up loving. LARRY Wow. I better go find someone, who I may love. And that's Chicago. LARRY Okay. RE Glenna is the one you Go to her. I will come to help you out periodically. Away to her. LARRY Sure. Tomorrow. It is late. RE I know. I think a problem can be found in engaging in important things too late. LARRY I know. Late is for entertainment. RE Exactly. I shall vacate. Re walks out. Act 2 Scene 1: The Area of Dining Glenna is sitting at a dining table with her father Fiono and .0 her brother Zel. FIONO Ordering the pizza at 8:12 was a really stupid idea, especially, since we normally sit down at 8:02. ZEL It'll take such a longest time for the pizza to get here. GLENNA I'm sorry, if someone was clogging the phone. ZEL Let's look on the bright side. I'm moving out. FIONO You should have gotten out of here a good while ago. ZEL I know that very much. FIONO Glenna, soon you will move out of my house and find your fortune among the world. ZEL Yes indeed. I have already found my fortune. FIONO He has. He shall make good money selling his urine. ZEL I must drink. FIONO How shall you find your fortune? GLENNA I will take a walk into the park and then see what I can see from there. FIONO That sounds like an interesting idea. I like it. Like that scheme, Zel? ZEL Yes. FIONO So then be it. You shall take a walk into the park. ZEL When? GLENNA Why not the day after tomorrow? ZEL Why not? FIONO Why not? GLENNA Yes. ZEL Go to your room, Glenna. GLENNA Yes. FIONO We'll call you, when the pizza arrives. Glenna walks offstage. Scene II: Glenna's Room Glenna enters her room and lies on the floor. GLENNA (singing) Oh but the songbirds sing. Oh but the songbirds know. I shall know what the scurry, if you lied. I shall know what the scurry, if you lied. How about that, my man? How about that, baseball. Oh but the singbords known. Oooo but the boards of sing sung now. I want to feel that falling down right up there. Cause I want to know the toe that shall reign over the computer. Krusty. Krusty. GLENNA Ah yeah. I don't know, if my fortune is what my father wants it to be. Money. My fortune can be something else. It can be something wonderful. I hope it is. Scene 3: Dining Area ZEL That Glenna of ours. FIONO Oh, you know. ZEL It's sad that mother died. FIONO Yes, your mum was a great woman. ZEL I loved her with all my heart. FIONO So, did I. I loved her equally as my children I think. ZEL Which is even better than loving us more. FIONO Yes. ZEL I want the pizza come. FIONO You should be drinking water right now. Why aren't you? ZEL I want food with my drink. FIONO That makes sense. ZEL Do you want to play a game about geography? FIONO I would like that a lot. ZEL I say the name of some sort of location as small as a town, and you have to say one that begins with the letter that ends the location stated previously. FIONO That sounds fun. Who thought of that? ZEL It was me and only me, who ever thought of that idea. Alaska. FIONO Argentina. ZEL Algeria. FIONO Australia. ZEL Africa. FIONO Asia. ZEL Alabama. FIONO Austria. FIONO Albania. ZEL Antarctica. FIONO Andalusia. ZEL Armenia. ZEL Allentown. Act 3 Scene 1: The Park Larry is at a park bench. Re is behind him. RE She shall come through this park, according to my information. LARRY Thank you. RE I will go. Re leaves the stage. Glenna walks onstage. GLENNA Now, where is my fortune? LARRY Are you Glenna? GLENNA Why hello, sir. I am Glenna. LARRY I am Larry. Come, sit with me. GLENNA (to herself) Perhaps he will be my fortune. Glenna sits down next to Larry. LARRY Nice day? GLENNA Yes it is. LARRY Nice days are kinds of things I admire because their niceness has a certain charm that really works well into providing an atmosphere that maintains my interests along with making the background great- like. GLENNA I see what you are saying. Though, I hate days like this. I prefer the rain. I think the rain has a kind of beauty to it that just is dark but perfect. It just fits a mood wonderfully. I adore it. It makes me feel not so up but in a good way. LARRY I can see what you are saying. Do you wish to go out for ice cream tomorrow? GLENNA No. LARRY Okay. What school did you go to? GLENNA School? What's that? LARRY That's a place, where you learn. GLENNA I was kidding with you. I know school. I went there. Now I don't go there because I graduated. LARRY That sounds very nice. I had a interesting school experience. Crunching academics and drinking fruit drinks were my days. I also had friends. GLENNA Really? LARRY Yes. There was Bertoucci, Kliestr, and Dorel. GLENNA Did you hang out? LARRY No. Currently, my only friend is a man named Gleaso. GLENNA That's an nice name. What do you do for living? LARRY I peel potatoes for a living. GLENNA Oh, that sounds nice. Where? LARRY A potatoes factory. I only work on mondays. GLENNA Bargain job. How do you get by? LARRY I am paid well because something happened, and I chose not to sue. GLENNA What? LARRY I cut my hand on the topato- peeler. GLENNA I see. Could you get me a job at the topato factory? LARRY Sure. I'll have to check Borisio, our manager. GLENNA (to herself) This could be my fortune possibly. LARRY What'd you say? GLENNA This could be my fortune possibly. LARRY I see. You know, there is something: deli-style mozzarella cheese that just hits the spot. GLENNA I agree, especially on pizza-like items. GLENNA Thanks. I find your hair pretty hair. Lot's of people have hair that happens to be pretty, though. It's an uneasy thing to not find. LARRY Really? GLENNA Today is your "really" day. Is it not? LARRY I wanna know the truth. GLENNA Okay, but I mean just look around. People have pretty hair. Why don't you think of three of some your human friends or aquatints, who you encountered recently, and see, if their hair is pretty? LARRY Okay. I believe there's Cleveland. Cleveland walks onstage. LARRY His hair is so-so to okay. GLENNA That's only one yet. LARRY It's the first one. GLENNA Go on. Gleaso then walks onstage near Cleveland. LARRY Gleaso has wonderful hair. GLENNA See, and averaging wonderful and so-so to okay together you get pretty. LARRY A lower pretty. GLENNA But a pretty nonetheless. LARRY Okay. Preachera then walks onstage near Gleaso. LARRY Preachera's hair is a moderate pretty. GLENNA Put that together with lower pretty, and you get a sub- moderate pretty. LARRY You're right then. Thinking about it, most people have at least pretty hair. GLENNA That's a good thing to know. It's a scope of the human physique. LARRY Yeah. GLENNA Do you wanna come over to my house for dinner sometime like today? LARRY Sure, and I can take you to the topato factory. GLENNA That would be wonderful. We should tell my dad about that. and, and Preachera exit the stage. LARRY What's your Dad's name? GLENNA Fiono, and I have a brother named Zel. LARRY What do they do for a living? GLENNA My dad right now businessman of sorts. He sometimes enters in busine Gleaso, Clevel GLENNA ss ventures. LARRY Ventures, you say? What kinds of ventures? GLENNA A whole bunch. Too many off the top of my head. LARRY What does Zel do? GLENNA He sells his urine? LARRY I never heard of that. GLENNA Fantastic business. LARRY Wow. So, should I get your phone number? GLENNA Can you come over to my place of residence now? LARRY Sure. GLENNA Let's go. Glenna and Larry walk offstage. Scene II: The Dining Area Glenna, Zel, Larry, and Fiono are all sitting at the dining table. FIONO I'm really sorry that the rotisserie chicken hasn't arrived yet. Zel, you were supposed to that. ZEL I was drinking water at the time. LARRY You can dilute your sodium content, Zel, if you drink too much. ZEL What? LARRY If you drink too, the effect of your body's salt will lesson because of all the water. You can die. ZEL Really? LARRY Yes. How many cups a day of liquid? ZEL Fifteen. LARRY That's too much. Do you engage in activity that is strenuously physical in nature? ZEL No. LARRY That's not good. ZEL Whatever. I can afford to die. I'll have the money. LARRY How much does it pay? ZEL Think one hundred bucks a pint. LARRY That's good. FIONO I'm proud of my son. I don't care about that sodium content nonsense. Water can't dilute salt. LARRY Okay guys. FIONO Okay. It don't matter. GLENNA Yeah. I have a surprise for you. FIONO What? GLENNA Tell him. LARRY I'm going try to get her a job at the topato factory. FIONO Wow. That's wonderful. GLENNA I know. He gets paid well at the topato factory. FIONO You better make sure my daughter gets paid well. LARRY Oh, I will definitely. FIONO You know, I remember my first job before I became the part-time business venturerer I am now. I was a farm-hand. I would work at the farm and tend to the animals and crops, cutting them with my bare hands and harvesting their delicious sustenance. I would then load the food into a van and it would be driven off to the processing plant, where it would boiled for about ten minutes and then cut into pieces and put in a freeze-dried pack and then sold at dollar stores. LARRY That's sounds like a life. FIONO Oh, it was, but I couldn't go on because I met your mother, Glenna and Zel. Boy, was she beautiful, a wonder, a pretty, oh she had it all. Then I moved here, got into my business ventures like radios, pens, garlic sauce, and construction. I then had you two. Then your mother died from a heart attack for she ate too much lard. Lard is a killer. Now I know have two wonderful children and the memory of my wife, which is good enough for Lee. LARRY Indeed. ZEL You never told us this before, Dad. FIONO Now, I have. I was a farm-hand, and your mother ate too much lard. LARRY So, will it rain today? FIONO Why it rains everyday. All around the world, there is rain. Oh, so much rain. Reigning upon us. GLENNA I disconcur. I think that there is no such thing as rain. That rain is a figment of our imagination. That it's about water falling from the sky but a little piece of beauty that wonders up the highway at night. ZEL If there is no rain, how we would get water? GLENNA It is replenished ever second by a force. LARRY I can see, where you are going with that. Who can disprove you? FIONO I can. I once spent a night lost in the rain, and I knew in my liver that this was real. Oh, it is was real. GLENNA Then, it must be real. I am sorry for my saying. FIONO Worry not. LARRY I'm also sorry. FIONO Worry not. ZEL So, where did we all as human- beings come from? FIONO That's a good question. Why don't you say first, Larry, since you are our guest? LARRY I dunno for sure. FIONO I shall go then, and then shall go Glenna, and then Zel could go last for he asked the question. I believe that we were created by a loving force that built us all in Her image. LARRY Interesting. I don't see any evidence to disprove that. GLENNA I see evidence. Why would a being like that be a Her? Would not it be without gender. FIONO I must say gender of course. For She is not an it, and this language not allows us for a gender-less non-it. GLENNA Create a word then. FIONO Very well. Qore will take the place of Her and Qora will take the place of She. LARRY I don't like the sound of that. It doesn't sound right. FIONO How about V will be Her and W will be She. LARRY I'm fine with that. FIONO Very well. W created us all V image. LARRY I see. GLENNA I agree. W create us all in V image. What about you Larry? LARRY Mmmm. GLENNA Okay, then. Zel, what do you think? ZEL I think there was the big bang. FIONO I dunno, if that's so good. ZEL What do you mean? FIONO The big bang doesn't work for me. ZEL Why is that? Scene 3: The Room of Glenna Larry and Glenna walk into Glenna's room. GLENNA Did you enjoy our dinner? LARRY It was nice. GLENNA That's good to hear. Know what? LARRY What? GLENNA Love you I do. LARRY Really? GLENNA Yeah. I love as you friend. LARRY I love you too as a friend. GLENNA That conversation bought us closer. LARRY Am I in love with you as a friend? GLENNA Why not? We're both in love with each other as friends. Re and Vol walk in. RE You've done it, Larry. LARRY Re, you didn't really visit me periodically beyond once. RE I didn't expect it would take this short. GLENNA Who's Re? LARRY Oh, Re's a being only I can see. (pointing to Vol) And that's Val. GLENNA Hi Val. VOL Hi, Glenna. (to Larry) Well, Larry. You have fallen in love. Now, I will tell you a belief of the afterlife that will work out perfectly for you. LARRY What is it? VOL Just believe that whatever it will be is whatever will work out perfectly for you. It exists. LARRY Okay. Thank you so much. VOL You are quite welcome. Have a day! Vol walks offstage. Re also walks off. LARRY Goodbye Re and Vol. RE (OFFSTAGE) Goodbye Larry. LARRY So, Glenna, why don't we platonically sleep in the same bed tonight and then tomorrow we shall head to the topato factory. GLENNA Okay. Act 4 Scene 1: The Topato Factory Manager's Office The Topato factory manager is in his office and singing a tune. Larry walk in. The topato factory manager looks over at Larry. Larry joins in. MANAGER (when they are done singing) Hey, Larry. How are you doing, buddy? LARRY Absolutely wonderful. MANAGER That's delicious. Did we get any potatoes shipments in yet? LARRY No. MANAGER In the mean time I have a desire to converse with you. LARRY Okay. MANAGER I think that America, when something bad happens to it gets a little kind of like "I'm so special", when around this world there is so much horror, yet, when only let's so five-hundred die it's the greatest terrible thing America has known, even though Africa has like a third of the population with AIDs. Americans have to spot being like they are. That media. LARRY I agree partially. The media is bad but most Americans are not like that. MANAGER Very well. Slavery should also be legal I say. LARRY Why is? MANAGER Because I believe you should have the right to own your own life, and therefore, you should be allowed to sell it. LARRY I agree. Slavery should be legal. MANAGER Movies are ungood. LARRY I disagree. Movies rock. MANAGER Do you really believe that? LARRY They're better than food. MANAGER Do you know of the propaganda machine? LARRY Yes. MANAGER It's very existence is mere propaganda. |