Lost

When is the sunrise coming?
That sunrise of warmth and sincerity,
That will bring great peace to my misery.

Will it turn these doubts to hope?
This pessimistic feeling is rising in my throat
And I realize I really need to throw away my shit because it’s threatening to bury me.

Can I get there? Is there a sound spot?
Does my place of worth exist?
I’m looking for the point, when all will be clear and good,
And I’ll be happy with the surroundings,
Which right now are so faded, so foggy, so far away.

When I get there, I’ll tell you what it’s like.
Because I know there’s a point where I need to be.
And it’s not only that I need it, but it’s what I’m desperately craving.
So when I get there, remind me to tell you.
But until then I’m running for my life hoping I’ll stumble upon softer ground.
Hoping, but not believing.
This doubt casts great shadows through the windows of my eyes.

And you say you want to help me dearly.
Well dear I wish you could.
I think someday you might, but before you do, I’ve got to do some things too.
At this time I don’t know what those things are,
But hopefully someday I’ll get there,
And then someone can change my life.
A series of change, great change, is heading my way.
But I need to hop into the lifeboat before anyone can paddle me away.
So yes, I’m trying to hop but the footing is loose.
Just promise to paddle when I find my way.
And until then, I’ll just let these blank pages be my output.
To make me feel better until I can smile.