Spotlight Rant

Blinding lights. Clicks here and there. Black coats, black ties. White gowns, white shawls, white gloves. Sparkling crystal glasses. Bubbling champagne. And then my name thundered in the hall. I heard my name echo, reverberate, repeat. Everybody applaud. Cheers and taunts flood the room. Suddenly I felt the hot touch of the spotlight, I covered my face. I followed the red-carpetted path. I put on the necessary smile flashing it on everyone my eyes fall upon. It is as if they are blinded by my "fabulous" smile as the call it. I stop every now and then to strike a pose for the paparazzi. They were enjoying my presence. I wasn't.

Everything I am doing is forced and faked. The smiles, the waves, the kisses - those are all rehearsed. Not real, godammit! Behind my fabulous smile, behind the fame and glamour, behind the "someone" that everybody look up to is just "me." An ordinary person. An ordinary boy.

But they just ignore the "me." They want that someone, that somebody they are asking to be me. They bombard me with their expectations, praises and all the bullsh*tting! I am sick and tired. They forced me into this state. They placed me on this effing pedestal without asking if I am liking and enjoying what I am doing. They are so effing selfish. Get the eff off me!

I don't want to be that someone you wanted me to be. I don't want to be somebody that isn't me. I want to be me! The real me!