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The start of a play about two people stuck on island together. Charlie and Maurice. |
The Island Maurice: Fun-loving, slobbish, adorable, and charming. Also extremely conservative. Charlie: Up-tight, liberal ass-hole. Act I Scene 1 Maurice and Charlie’s plane has just crashed on an island. They are the only two left alive. Maurice: You should boil that first. Charlie: It’s water isn’t it? Maurice: You don’t know where that’s been, that shit could be infected! Charlie: Do you really think it matters at this point? Maurice: Go ahead, but if you die on me and I’m stuck on this shit hole alone I will be bitter. Charlie: It’s fine. Maurice: (Opens a beer can) Now you see, this is what the smart man drinks. Charlie: Wha- where the hell did you get that? Maurice: There’s a huge thing of drinks in the plane’s galley. You see, I’m smarter than to just drink that shit. I’m not gonna go get some giardia or shit. Charlie: But you are gonna get dehydrated. (Pours beer on ground). Maurice: Now, hold on. You didn’t just do that- Charlie: The water is fine. Maurice: Wait, wait, I wasn’t talking about the water. Charlie: The water is fine. The water is fucking fine! Maurice: Jeez, chill man. I’ll drink the water. Charlie: This is terrific. This is just terrific. I’m stuck on a- do you know what I was supposed to be doing right now? I was coming for a White Stripes concert in the perfect location. An island resort. Well I got the island. Now all I have to do is find a damn resort! Maurice: Now, now hold on. The White Stripes? Charlie: Yes. Maurice: You flew all the way down here for a White Stripes concert. Charlie: Yes. Maurice: (laughs) Well it’s your travel money. Charlie: Thanks, you know what? If that’s such a terrible reason; what are you here for? Maurice: Drive By Truckers concert. Charlie: Of course. Maurice: Hey I tell you, you match up any northern band, the White Stripes, Green Day and match them up against any southern band, Drive By Truckers, Lynyrd Skynyrd. No contest. Charlie: Are you telling me that location is the sole basis for a band’s success? Maurice: Of course, have you name me one great rocker from the north. Charlie: Are you serious? Ah, Jimi Hendrix was from Seattle. Maurice: He doesn’t classify as a rocker. Charlie: What? He’s the greatest guitarist of all time! Ah- it doesn’t matter! Have you noticed we’re still stuck on an island in the middle of the ocean. Maurice: Yep. Charlie: “Yep” what? Maurice: Well, we are stuck here on an island. Charlie: Does that not concern you? Maurice: Yes. Very much so. Charlie: Well, I’m glad you’re worried. Maurice: Hey, you’re the one who’s talking about the White Stripes. |