My Lonely Dead Soul

It was a dark and gloomy day in September, when I went to bed never to wake up again. It all started thirteen years ago when my closest friend refused to talk to me anymore. She was a beautiful in both her appearance and her soul. She glowed with the spiritual light of an angel. She had hair as black as night, and eyes as green as envy. When she walked everyone stared at her. Her name was Rebecca Kart. Rebecca was my first girlfriend. We went out for one summer, and then chatted online for another. She lived in New Jersey, while I lived in New York. It seemed that all was going well until school and other friends got in the way.
One day in October just before a holiday, I can not remember which one, I instant messaged her to find her away message. She was hanging out with her friends that night. When she came home that night, she instant messaged me and told me that she did not want to talk to me any more. She said that she was afraid that we would get too close. “I am not ready to think that far in the future,” she said. “I have to think about my school work, and concentrate on getting into collage.” I told her that she was very intelligent, and that she should not worry about it, but she ignored me. As the night progressed, I got upset, and angry. We went through so much together, and now she is pulling the plug. How could she, it is not right.
I went a week until the pressure to hold of me. I could not last another day without her. I made up an excuse so that I could talk to her, and it worked. We made up a deal that I could talk to her once in a blue moon, which in my mind happens a lot. After discussing the deal, and catching up on missed things, I said good night, and let her live alone without me.
A couple of weeks later I realized that I have not talked to her in a bunch of weeks, and it did not affect me. I thought that maybe I got over her, until I saw her online. Her screen name popped up, and I was tempted to say something, but did not say anything. I was heartbroken at this point, I could not go on. It felt like I was sitting there experiencing a heart attack, and no one could help, but her. I grabbed the phone, and called my old camp counselor.
David Taylor was a tall and skinny guy. He was twenty one when I went to camp, and never regretted it. We have been friends ever since. At camp, he introduced me to Rebecca and found out information for me. He taught me many things about life and myself. He created a portion of my soul. Without him, I would not be who I am today. Anyway, he told me about her, and explained her to me. I called him up to discuss her. We schmoozed for an hour and a half. It was my longest conversation with anyone on the phone before.
After talking to David, I realized what I had to do. I had to leave her alone. I cared about her, so I had to respect what she said. I followed what David said for as long as I could. It was just too hard. I tried to occupy myself with other things like sports or a website, but it did not work. I even joined the hockey team in my school as a goalie, that way I could take my mind off of her, and concentrate on stopping the puck. That seemed to work for al while, until hockey season came to a close. I was stuck. What should I do? The answer was simple. I had to roll over and die, and that is what I did.
I scheduled my calendar until February 19. I decided on that day I would end my misery. I had one month and four days to work. When the day came, I was ready. I said my good byes, and finished my last minute things. That night, I lied down on my bed, and stared at the ceiling, so I could not see it happen. Suddenly everything went blank. I could see anything. I thought maybe it happened, but then I heard voices. It was her, Rebecca, my love and only hope. She was standing right there, next to me. What should I say? What should I do? I then heard another voice, it was my mother. She was saying something. I then woke up, and realized it was all a dream, or was it? I went over to my computer, and look at my e-mail account, and then at the mirror, and realized that it was all true. I stared at my ugly looking self, and cried. It was if my soul was dead. I was living by myself, and my lonely soul just sat there dying.