11 Years Apart..

As a child Mary seemed to know things that I've never heard of before. Born in January I was 11 years a head of Mary whom was born In November. It felt like I had a twin sister. My mother dressed us alike and when it was time for school we were in the same grade. Mary was the smart one my mother would brag to anyone who listen. Math, typing( no computers in those days, 1970's) and science that was her food. I was the book worm and loner who spotlight had a chance to shine as I grew older.
I remember when we went to Highschool and had to repeat a grade, Mary kept on striving and landed a job in the last year of highschool and kept the same job until she passed away May 9, 2006. On the other hand I kept going back and forth to school not sure of who or what I wanted to be. I have two children, Mary had none and every once in awhile I think of how my life wouldhave been without children.
Before my sister passed away she became very ill.She was mean spirited to everyone who try to help or show kindeness. My other sibling would call me and tell me how she would say certain things that did not make sense and I did not know what to make of it. Until I start to see signs of changes that were taking place right before my eyes.

Kidney problems, Mary had the family believing that was her illness and we believed this for a very long time. I really became concerned when she kept having hospital stays for strange reasons that had nothing to do with her kidneys. I know for sure that people skin become darker when they're on Dialysis and I know for sure that they have to watch their fluid intake. Mary ate anyhting she wanted and her skin looked darker but like someone who had kidney problems.

One day Mary called me to see if I could hook up her new computer and I was more then happy to do this because she stopped wanting us to visit her. We talked and laughed the whole visit but as I watched my dear sister, she wasted away to nothing and did not look like my sister who once was adored my my mother. I thought the change came from her missing my mother who died in 2004, they were close and did almost everything together.

Around Midnight my oldest sibling called and had all of us meet at the emergency room because Mary had a Massive Heart Attack. Two days later she died.
Remember when I talked about Mary Kidney problems, she did not have that all, Mary had Aids and did not let her family know. We had to recieve her death certicate to find out such a thing.

Mary my beloved sister did not share with us how ill she was and all of us were close and always talked about everything. When one was angry at one the other would not let that last and the following week we would meet somewhere for lunch or dinner. How could she do this to us. She had to know that when one suffer ,we all suffer. Mary would say anything to make one go away and not want to come back, but we did, she couldn't get rid of us. One of my sister said that Mary used to say, she hated her life. Now we all knew why. Right now I am angry at Mary, but I guess in time I will learn to accept what she wanted. It did not have to end that way and I think that if she would had said something we would had make her more comfortable and less stressful. I could had spent more time with her and let her know that she was not alone in this world.