I'm Madeline's Mom (revised)

Recently, an aspect of motherhood that I wasn't prepared for smacked me square in the face. It all began one day when I dropped my daughter off at elementary school and had a pleasant chat with her teacher. As I walked away, I jokingly thought to myself, "I guess I no longer have a name of my own." Don’t get me wrong. Her teacher knew who I was, but only as “Madeline’s Mom”. I shrugged it off and continued my day.

That evening I was at a Brownie meeting, and again it hit me. Here too, I was known as “Madeline’s Mom”. Immediately, every school function, and activity I attended, flashed before my eyes. I suddenly realized I was known only as “Madeline’s Mom” at all of these events.

Although stunned, the ramifications became painfully evident a few days later when I called my daughter’s cheerleading coach. As a test, I introduced myself using my "real" name. There was dead silence on the other end of the phone. With a sigh of resignation, I said, “I’m Madeline’s Mom”. I could almost hear the lightbulb above her head lighting up. It was then I reached a turning point. With certainty, I knew I would be known as “Madeline’s Mom” for the rest of my life.

This floored me. No one told me I would cease to have a name of my own once I became a mother. I was never told, my identity would be tied to my daughter's. Why didn't someone prepare me for this? Why isn't this written down somewhere? And more importantly, why didn't I notice this long before now?

As time wore on, I've gotten used to it. I now have the ‘if you can’t beat’em - join’em’ mentality. I automatically introduce myself as "Madeline's Mom" at all school functions, and no longer receive blank stares in return. In fact, the other mothers do the same. They, too, are only known as "Holly's Mom", or "Meghan's Mom". We've all lost our names and personal identities during the transition to motherhood. Are we trapped in a "Twilight Zone" episode?

Recently, I saw a pregnant woman at the mall and something inside of me wanted to warn her of the impending identity crisis. "Enjoy your name now, while you still can!" I wanted to shout. But then I noticed a shoe sale and completely forgot about her. Oh well. I guess she'll just have to find out the same way the rest of us did. Besides, I had to hurry home because "Meghan's Mom" would be calling about a birthday party "Ashley's Mom" was throwing.