When you're crippled by heartbreak and find it hard to move on. |
My pen my paper and my frustration the hole in my heart from the dagger of misery my arms at my sides and my chin is awaiting the blow of your absence to hit me again and again I am staring, the sun is still rising I cannot deny but I'll never admit it My mind keeps on racing, I find myself pacing A path in my bedroom, a trench in a war I can't win I wake in the morning, my features are frozen The sun in the window is trying to thaw me I rise to my feet but the ground too is freezing I long for the warmth of a heart not around me The face in my mirror is so cold and distant I want him to cheer up, I want him to see that the sun is still rising, the birds are still singing the world keeps on turning, the tide still comes gently in I walk down the sidewalk, I see what's around me the children are singing, their parents are laughing the sun is above now, I'm casting a shadow He's following closely but isn't excited He wants me to go home, crawl under the covers and Empty my mind of the thoughts of another who left me for dead on the bank of a river Then swam to an island, not ever to be known again The day passes slowly just like a parade but then no one is watching, no, no one is waving I'm wearing a smile that I want to be real But my teeth have been broken in an unfortunate incident where church bells were chiming, I only heard tolling the guests were arriving, they knew not the problem There wasn't a wedding, there wasn't a bride that wasn't the groom who watched her fall into the grave I stood on the outside, afraid to look inside so full of compassion, afraid to become him I spread my arms wide to grab all around me but fell to the ground when she woke up to tell me 'There's more to a life than just singing and strumming' A lesson learned quickly but forgotten so slowly I tried to stand up but my legs had been broken my mouth started bleeding, I feared that I couldn't go on Back in my bedroom I fall into rhythm an endless succession of trials and errors And though it is night now the dark isn't working to block out the histories, both fact and fiction I try to forget but it tends not to happen my blessing has cursed me from now til forever I'll look back and say if I wouldn't have drown then I could have tried swimming and cleansing the wounds of my soul All has grown quiet, the day has been broken by dreams and enchantment, false wonders I don't know For I lie awake with my demons around me They laugh in amusement as I can't stop thinking for hours and hours of someone who saw me as something I wasn't, no, something I wasn't I tried to be real and uncover my soul But I couldn't reveal it, the water around was too cold |