Changes

Changes.

It’s happened again, another evaluation, another change, another minefield to be crossed, exciting yet terrifying.

I go through times like this now and again. I get complacent and life sneaks up behind me and gives me a huge shove into unknown territory.

I don’t ever ask for it, it’s unwelcome and leaves me feeling abandoned and vulnerable. People I love, change.

Or is it me who changes?

I still feel the same. Deep inside, I feel the same. Yet those who profess to care for me and love me for what I am, turn on me. And one by one, I let them go, because at the end of the day I can’t change who I am nor have I any wish to do so.

Hurtful words and actions wound me, but I don’t fight. I walk away and leave them behind me. No explanations or reasoning required.

Yes, I was there for them; fell in with their plans, because I wanted to be there. I was happy, and delighted in the sweetest company. Free to be me, and to speak clearly without reservations, from the heart.

I bathed in the heady glow of friendship that was my greatest treasure. A treasure now tainted and tarnished and tossed unceremoniously into the abyss.

I walk alone now, save for a few remaining friends, who appear to accept me for who I am. My heart lies open to them, and with them, I’ll walk along this newfound path and share in their pleasure and their pain.

And those I left behind? Are they somewhat bewildered? Do they wonder where she’s gone and why? Let them ask their questions, I say!

I have no need, desire or obligation to reply.