Fools Finery: Epic Crystalys Part 2

Luckily, years of work in the traveling show had taught me that even the best of marksman miss their target. Quick reflexes seperated the talented entertainers from the dead ones. I ducked swiftly, the small bells on my hat jingling in the dagger's wake. The knife bit deep into the packed snow walls as Javanelle let out a sigh. The door had fully opened to reveal a battle hardened face, twisted with a cold determination that doubtlessly was seen often on the battlefield. Thick dark hair hung in greasy spikes on his forehead and spilled down over his shoulders. His bare chest was covered with a vast assortment of scars, some still aggravated red, slashes that crisscrossed hard muscle. His brow was knit, and gaze murderous.

Javanelle leapt out in front of me, waving her arms about as if to fend off another attack, though I doubted there would be one coming.

"Major General Luciano, this is Our Lady's guest. He didn't know!"

At the sight of the Staff Sergeant, the Major's face broke out into a wide, jackal like grin. The murderous glare fled his eyes and he rose to his feet, snatching off Javanelle's helm. Even pleased, this Luciano was intimidating, towering above the shorter solider. He fondly tousled her hair with his knuckles, like an older brother. Javanelle deftly snatched his wrist, twisting the great man about. They continued to tussle for several minutes until Luciano had the woman pinned to the floor.

Soldiers, I mused, I will never understand their ways

"Master Pollo, this is Major General Luciano. Luc, this is Master Pollo," Javanelle introduced breathlessly, still exhausted from the scuffle. My hand was engulfed in the Major's firm grip, "You two will be bunking together. This castle houses all of the Queen's armies and since we have yet to go to war, it is quite full."

It was only then that I got the first glance at my accommodations. The snow packed walls were adorned with every bladed weapon imaginable, each gleaming with newly sharpened edges. No doubt Luciano was proficient in all of their use. Next to Sammei herself, Luciano's fame was well known throughout the realms. A terror to come across on the field of battle for sure, his tenacity was almost bordering on insanity. The stories, no doubt mostly hearsay, was that Luciano would wear a crimson garment, so that when he was wounded in battle, his enemies could not tell how deeply. It was said that he slew the Gaian Seal Guard in the siege of Faer'ean Dell, a fight that lasted from sunup till sundown. Legends say that was the first day the sun ever set scarlet. From the looks of his scars, some of these tales might be true.

Javanelle exited quickly, murmuring something about us getting acquainted. The Major sat on the edge of one of the two simple cots that furnished our quarters and proffered me a stool.

"Sorry about the whole knife incident," Luciano said with that jackal like smile, "I'm used to the constant threat of death and I tend to overreact when I don't have full warning. So you're a jester, huh? Tell me a joke!"

I let out perhaps an overly exasperated sigh. I cleared my throat and then began:

"There were three kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of this lake, which the kingdoms had been fighting over for many ages. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to duel, and the winner would take the island.

The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had eight knights and each knight had three squires in their entourage, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses and cooking food. The second kingdom had fifteen knights and each knight had eight squires, who were doing the same. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his one gangly looking squire. This squire took a large cooking pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. While he did this, the knight cooked his own food and polished his own armor. At midnight, a boulder beast appeared. The three kingdoms combined their knights in order to fight it off. Though they vanquished it, all of them died in the attempt.

When the hour of the duel had came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight in the knights stead. The battle raged and when the dust cleared, the only person left was the sickly squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires from the other two kingdoms."

Luciano was looking confused, but I was in my element. I stood up for the punch line.

"The moral of this tale is...the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides!"

Luciano laughed a deep laugh, nearly a growl in his throat that seemed to reverberate outwards. Then suddenly he stopped.

"I don't get it" the major said, scratching the back of his head.

Crestfallen, I slumped into the other cot, murmuring that I would explain it later. Before I could find a comfortable position, there was a knock on the door. Javanelle had returned.

"The Queen requests your presence in her chambers immediately. I am to escort you there."

My head began to calculate every event that could be cause for such a meeting, as it always did. None of them were good.

Nevertheless, I silently followed Javanelle through the twisting corridors, my mind raced with every doubt and negative outcome. I lived life balancing on the edge of a blade, and oftentimes, even the bat of a butterfly's wings were enough to topple everything I was trying to balance. The winding staircase we started to venture up seemed to go on forever. Working for royalty was always had it's risks. Normally, I chafed at having to deal with those in absolute power. Useful as it may be to have such allies, their wrath is equally as swift and absolute.

Giving a hurried curtsy, as well as one could give a curtsy in leather body armor, Javanelle rushed back down the stairs and out of sight, leaving me before a door made of solid ice. The frozen door was so thick, it was impossible to see through to the room beyond. I rapped on its cold surface, my stomach tied in knots. The queen's voice could be heard from within, requesting me to enter. Swallowing hard, I stepped inside. The queen's chambers were remarkable small in size, though the packed snow walls were the most intricately carved of any that I had yet seen. A dark bay wood bureau stood in one corner, with a clear mirror shining above it. The smell of herbal tea filled the small room, steaming from a pot and cup on the night stand. A canopy bed was draped with layers of white sparkling silk, which Queen Ella was seated, quietly sipping her tea.

"Here at your request and willing to jest." I rhymed with a flourish, ready to do anything from juggling to singing a lullaby.

"I did not call you here to be entertained," the Snow Queen said quietly. Her hair was unbound by her crown, letting a sea of chestnut hair cascade over her shoulders and down her back. A few stray strands veiled those intense blue eyes of hers.

The queen motioned me to sit, gesturing to a stool tucked away in the far corner. I shook my head. "I'd rather stand, thank you," I replied, ignoring the tea as well, "What's this all about?"

"No need to be hostile," Ella replied, smoothing out her flowing white sleep robes, heavy with the same shimmering silk as the canopy, "I just wanted to discuss a few details of your job."

"Which is exactly why I'm not getting comfortable, my liege," I said, shuffling my feet, "I've been through enough negotiations to know how best to keep a clear head."

She dismissed my rudeness with an idle hand, gliding around the room as she spoke. "Master Pollo, traveling jester, skilled in all the arts of entertainment and foolery, gracing nearly every major festival, parade and now even royal courts from here to the Deepspine Mountains."

I nodded slowly, wondering where exactly this was going. I didn't need my own credentials stated back to me. This woman was headed somewhere, leading me somewhere I didn't want to go.

"There are other rumors about you, Master Pollo," She continued, "That you have been advisors to the same rulers in whose courts you performed. That your brilliant mind is behind many of the uprisings, insurgents, wars and peace accords that this realm has every known. They say you have an interesting way of bringing people what they need or showing people what they need to know. Is this true?"

"One cannot rely all too heavily on base rumors, my liege," I replied sternly, looking at my shoes, "I am a simple jester who's just looking for simple work"

"Well that is a pity," The Snow Queen said, reaching under her canopy bed and pulling out a bulging coin purse, "Because this is above and beyond the rumored cost of such a service."

I snatched the purse out of the air as it was tossed to me, pulling a coin out from the pile inside. The castle of Lordaer shone dully in gold, pressed onto its surface. With a snap of my fingers, the coin disappeared. Another snap revealed it again, in its true form. The coin was really made from the same tightly packed snow that composed these walls. I dropped it on the floor, crushing it with my heel for emphasis.

Queen Ella only laughed, a sweet sound that hung in the air, even after she had finished. "Did you really think you could fool me, my liege?" I asked, "Deception is my forte"