Always

One day you can work the microwave and the next you can't. What is it that short circuits the spark that allows information to flow. Somedays you are fluent and then somedays you stutter and look in vain for words. Will this happen to me? Is there a genetic link? I fix the microwave with big colored buttons: red for stop and green for start, and then you dial in 20 minutes to heat your coffee and boil it all away. Thank goodness we have an electric stove! I don't know why that makes me feel better. I guess because you would never be able to blow up the house. At least you don't wander. Only in your mind do you wander and dream. You dream of walking without pain and dancing again. You wish that your husband, my father was alive. I wish it too. You want to be mobile and you want to be the one everyone looks to for help and advice. I still look to you. I take care of you and still I look to you. I wish I could make everything good again for you. At most, I can try to keep you safe and happy. At least I can hope you know how much I love you.