Rooftops

Because it's two in the morning...
And I'm feeling so ugly...
I've got this chip on my shoulder...
Keeps my eyes spread wide open...

Nate slowly bobbed his head to the music, eyes closed tightly as he sat on the edge of the apartment's roof, feet dangling over the side and knocking against the weather-beaten brick wall. Of course, with that shaggy black mess of hair, you wouldn't be able to tell if they were open.

As soon as the song ended, Nate let loose a heavy sigh and shut off the CD player that provided his only companionship tonight, just like it has for the past three years. It's been so long since...no. He grudgingly blocked the thoughts from his mind and stared up at the stars.

"The stars are the only thing wrong with tonight's sky," Nate grumbled. The moon was merely a bright silver fragment, the sky was clearer than crystal...hell, even the 24 hour stores were shutting down and freeing the streets of light pollution. But those stars...those stars were too damn happy and disconnected from our world to know they're not needed tonight. His gaze shifted into an unwavering glare. Maybe if he stared hard enough, he could rip those stars from the sky.

Nate blinked and rubbed his eyes. The strain of his interstellar conflict finally forced him to cave. He tilted his head upward and winced at the light. The stars were still there, and he took their twinkling as a celestial insult. Letting another angry breath escape his lips, he glanced at his watch to confirm his suspicions. He's been up here too long. Scooting away from the edge until his feet were on solid footing, he stood up and jammed his cd player into the pocket of his dark red winter jacket. The jacket he always wore on a night like this, a night where he wanted to duck into a shadow and vanish from sight. He didn't want to die, just disconnect for a while.
He's been spending a lot more time on the roof ever since...dammit, not again.

Why did his thoughts always drift back toward her? Becca stranded Nate on this roof, their roof, three years ago. Supposedly she was out on one of those soul-searching road trips you keep hearing about in teen movies. But he knew there had to be something more. You don't go being childhood friends turned lovers and then walk out just as things are starting to get good. Maybe she wanted to see something more in life. Maybe she was looking to bone every other man in the country, why should he care? "You're never coming back, Becca..." he blankly stated to nobody in particular

"You sure about that?" responded nobody in particular, as a set of pale, spindly arms wrapped around his waist. Nate struggled free from the foreign grip and tackled his assailant to the floor. Sure enough, there she was. Strawberry blonde hair, playful green eyes, and that unforgettable mischievous grin. Becca. Exactly the way she looked before she left.
Nate was at a loss for words as the questions raced through his mind. What was she doing here? How'd she sneak up behind him? Why doesn't she smell like alcohol this time?

Becca shook her head and giggled. "Still as jumpy as ever, aren't ya Nay-nay?"

Nate growled softly and inched away from her. "You know I hate it when you call me that."

"And I hate getting tackled. I guess that makes us even now, doesn't it?" She kissed his cheek softly, forgiving him for being a little paranoid. "Come on, I thought you'd be happy to see your bestest friend since the second grade."

"I am..." Nate managed to say through clenched teeth. He sat up and regained his patience with her. "...I'm just a little confused right now, that's all."

Becca nodded and crawled into his lap, resting her head on his chest. Even though Nate was more than a little suspicious of his guest's sudden arrival and affection, he instinctively wrapped his arms around her. Just like we used to do when we were kids, still believing in the magic of the night sky, he thought.

From Becca's puzzled look, he finally realized he said that last thought out loud. "Awful poetic for an engineering student, isn't it?" she asked. One of these days, he's gonna get his head looked at and find out what's wrong with the floodgate between his mind and his mouth.

Nate looked back down at her and smiled, ruffling that strawberry hair. "I graduated while you were out on your little trip." Becca grinned and gave him another kiss as a belated graduation gift. Yep. He was now a full-fledged, board-certified electronics engineer. Even so, he somehow still has that damn desk job at the hotel. And since her arrival, he's been ten minutes late for work.

"You know, I really wanted you to come with me," Becca said, resting her head on his shoulder just like she always used to. She played with an unruly strand of his hair, humming softly into his ear. "So why did you stay here? You're always bitching about the people, the noise, the job...pretty much everything about this place."

Nate nodded slowly, still trying to find out why she was here now. "Yeah, well I had to finish up with school."

She shook her head lightly and looked into his eyes, entrancing him with that same look she had since second grade. "Come on, you coulda done that later."

"That would require money, money I only had in theory. If I left, the scholarships wouldn't be there when I got back. And there’s no way I could get that kinda cash from the hotel gig. I didn't want to have you go all alone...but it's what I needed to do." Nate bowed his head and closed his eyes. "The last thing I wanted was to hurt you, Becca."

Becca laughed and squeezed Nate softly. "I told you those emo bands were turning you into a mess."

He shook his head and looked over at her. "You still hate my taste in music."

"No, just the bad stuff." she said with a grin and a kiss.

Nate tried to stand up, but Becca murmured and tightened her hold protectively, like a child would with a teddy bear. "Don't leave just yet. We've got a lot of catching up to do, you know."

He squirmed around in her grasp a little before eventually giving in. Of course, once her hand drifted a little lower than he would have liked, he went right back to crawling out of her hold. "Remind me how you ended up being the horny one in this relationship."

Becca thought for a second, then shrugged and leaned against him. She whispered to him. "You know one of had to be...and you always said I was better at it."

She once again latched on, this time draping an arm over his neck so she'd still be there if he tried to stand up. And sure enough he did, and once again he tried to pry her off of him as best he could without a crowbar. Her smile finally faded away into disappointment as she stood. "What the hell are you so grumpy about?"

He turned around, trying to block her out of his mind. "I need to get to work, Becca. You know I get stuck with the crappy shifts."

Becca sighed and glared at him through the back of his head. "Don't tell me you still got that shitty job at the hotel."

All he could do was drop his head and mutter back at her. "You know it's hard for anyone to find a new job these days."

"Bulls***!" she shouted back at him. "You never felt like looking, did you?" Nate stood there, not moving, but his head was still hanging low enough to answer her question. However, that didn't stop her from berating him even more. "I knew it! You'd always rather bitch about what you can't have, and then when you try and change what you got, you run away scared at the first sign of resistance!"

"I can't risk losing the money..." Nate weakly defended, his head now nearly dropped completely under his shoulders.

"You don't get it! It's not just about the job, it's about everything! I've never seen you risk anything in your life!"

He finally perked his head up and looked back at Becca. "Is that why you came back? To bitch about how I live?"

Becca was too angry for words, so she threw an old brick into the streets below and curled up into a ball on the edge. She rocked back and forth, trying to keep the tears building in her eyes from spilling out. Nate turned around and eased his way back over to her, but stayed a safe distance away still. There were still a couple bricks near her after all.

They remained this way for a good four or five minutes, Nate not sure what he could do, and Becca barely able to restrain herself. This whole scene was so silent you could hear the clouds drifting in overhead. Finally, he cleared his throat and inched closer to her. "Why did you leave, Becca?'

She sniffled and pulled her legs up to her chest, burying her face in her knees. Her words were scarcely audible over the tears finally streaming from her eyes. "You always left me. I wanted you to see how it felt."

Nate was about to speak, but looking into those eyes, he heard a projector click on just before the memories rolled in. Anytime she asked him to do something, he came up with a bullshit excuse. Homework, mandatory overtime, flat tire, and even less plausible lies filled his portfolio over the years. He thought this time he spent up here with Becca was enough, and that this would last forever. He was wrong two times. Shame on him.

Nate looked up at the sky. The clouds were starting to join in her sorrow with a light sprinkling of rain. But out here, that would grow into a torrential downpour in a matter of minutes. He looked back at Becca and sat down next to her, taking her hand. "I'm sorry, and I know that no matter how many times I tell you that right now, you won't believe me."

"Damn right," she mumbled from behind the shield of her legs.

He pressed her hand against his chest. "I was a jerk before. I can't promise you that won't happen again...but what I can promise you is that I'll do everything in my power to make it up to you tonight. Besides, we need to get out of here before the storm starts."

She looked up at him, wiping a tear away with her free hand. "Don't you have to be at work?"

He shook his head and kissed her forehead lightly. He was probably fired now, if not in the ten minutes from now it would take to get to the run-down motel. "Let's not worry about that right now. We've been apart for longer than you think." He helped pull her up to her feet, hugging her tightly to him once she was standing.

Becca raised an eyebrow. "And where's all of this coming from?"

He said not another word until they reached the door leading downstairs. Opening it up for her, he kissed her cheek softly. "I don't know about you...but I've got a lot of catching up to do."

Lyrics from Atomship, "Withered". Sample taken without permission, but it's also too short to file a lawsuit over.