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by Londis Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Poetry · Comedy · #1052679
A humorous fiction story with a strange ironic twist
JAMIE’S THUMB
BY LONDIS CARPENTER
COPYRIGHT © 2005

I’ll never forget the look on his face
The day Jamie cut off his thumb.
Or, the turn of events that followed in place,
With logic that makes my brain numb.

Jamie ran that machine since he was seventeen
And his hand was as quick as his eye.
No one ever thought he would ever get caught,
From the way he could make that blade fly.

In a stunned state of shock Jamie looked at the clock
Saying, “this shift has ended for me.
I planned to go bowling tonight with the boys
But, I guess I won’t make it” says he.

Then Chuck said deep and low, “If the boss doesn’t know
That a machine has gone down on the line,
He will call our work slow and will dock all our dough;
By my watch that shear stopped about nine.”

Myrtle said, “I’ll go tell.” (Which she often did well)
And she ran to the office, full speed.
She said, “Jamie’s hurt bad and it’s bleeding like mad.”
Joe just looked up and said, “Oh, Indeed?”

When Joe got to the shop all the workers had stopped.
They were trying to render first aid.
There was blood all around and no one had yet found
Jamie’s thumb severed off by the blade.

When Joe cleared his throat with his familiar note
Every worker jumped back to his task.
Then Joe said quite plain to Jamie the maimed,
“There’s one question that I’d like to ask.”

“I can see what you’ve done; that you cut off your thumb,
But I’d like to know how it’s explained.
There’s reports I must make and it seems rather dumb,
A man with your skill could be maimed.”

Jamie said, “Well, it was quite a surprise,
But I’ll try to help all that I can.
To best make it clear and help your replies;
So move right over here where I stand.”

Jamie turned on the shear and said, “Place your hand here
And I’ll show you just how it was done.
First, I stepped over here and I put it in gear” . . . and
Just then . . . Jamie spotted his thumb.

Now it’s never been clear when it’s all said and done,
When that blade came down on Joe’s hand,
Just who hit the switch that cut off Joe’s thumb
Some are saying, that’s what Jamie planned.

Well, the doctors repaired Jamie’s hand without airs,
He still bowls and he has no regret.
And Joe’s thumb wasn’t found, though they looked all around.
That it’s on Jamie’s hand is my bet!
© Copyright 2006 Londis (londis at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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