An Octagon in a Round Peg World

6 years ago, we began a journey. A journey into the world of round and square pegs. It begain with worrying about just a late talking child, and ended with dealing with the maze that is "Autism".

In the beginning, I swore my son, couldn't be autistic, no way. He didn't fit *my* definition of autism; a non verbal child, who rocks, or who acts like Dustin Hoffman in "The Rainman". I now know that my child is more the norm of children on the spectrum.

I have spent the past 6 years, learning so many things. Some are just basic tangible facts; autism affects 1 in 166 children, 4 times as many boys as girls. Others more of an personal challenge; like how to refocus goals, accept limitations, and finding the silver lining amidst the storm clouds.

Most of all, I've learned just how very lucky I am to have such a special boy in my life. Someone who doesn't see the world through the same lenses as the rest of us, but instead challenges us to see the world through his eyes.

How I love this little child of mine, he amazes me with his ability to push me to my limit, have me at the point of tears, then bring me back with a smile, or a touch. I love all my children, don't get me wrong, but Cameron has truly shown me how you can still love someone, that you are exasperated with. He has taught me that even when you think you are ready to throw in the towel, you aren't.

What a roller coaster ride he keeps my emotions on. For example, how my heart swells with pride when he manages to make it through a shopping trip without a meltdown, or how my heart breaks when I see children his age that are "typical" and I mourn the loss of my "typical" son.

When people hear my son has been diagnosed on the autism spectrum, their first response is to say "I'm sorry". I always reply now, "Don't be sorry, I'm not."

Now, don't get me wrong, there are days when I ask "why? why me? why Cameron?" But they are coming further and further apart as I learn to appreciate the wonderful special person he is.

In a world, where we tend to classify people as round or square, he's an octagon. There's a lot to be said for octagons, I'm learning something new every day.