Make a difference..... for yourself

It was a bright Sunday morning and definitely not the best Sunday of my life. It was just another day that began with unsaid and unravled
high expectations on me from a devious mind that wouldnt rest in peace.That was the day on which i attended the most tormenting job interview
in my 365 days of very desparate, mind boggling,humiliating and exhausting job search.With each job interview or test that i was failing,i was equally falling apart. On that day, i had set out on another expedition of
the same kind,only not to be aware of the tumultuous turmoil that i might have to undergo.

I had done all my homework,sameoldformulas ,nerve cracking algorithms,and mind blowing fundamentals of the highest order which were constantly creeping across all corners of my mind,while i brushed,bathed and dressed,foiling my pathetic attempt to keep a cool and confident head.Its amazing how one's mind works wonders when you least need it to, and wind up clay when you most certainly want it to function. By this time, i was convinced that training my mind was pointless. It was going to unfurl its true shades of stupidity,inability and enourmous capacity to wind up stranded, on the
face of tension,fear,and pressure.So anyway, i had set out that day with full cognizance of the beautiful powers of my mind,silently praying that he shouldnt let me down this one time, and secretly basking in the wildest dreams of me conquering the job.

Luckily i caught a city bus which was about to leave, and found myself an isolated window seat in a corner to avoid weird glances from normal eyes, on account of my pillow sized books that i would study.Since i was completely new to that area of the city in which the company was located,i was constantly on the prowl, outside the window, to catch any sign of its nameboard
"Sierra Technologies". That was a name that would ring a bell for most hardworking and dedicated indivuduals in the IT industry. Sierra was known forits well organised and quality recruiting processes and no wonder only the
finest quality cream of cake, would eventually find their way through Sierra's despicable filtration methods.Despicable in the eyes of the remaining part of the cake,the lesser mortals,or rather the otherwise more capbalbe but
"Sierra"wise under priviliged human beings .Sierra as i discovered from the pompous,annoyingly huge sized ad on the newspaperwas located within the boundaries of IndraNagar.

Much as i was frustrated with the bus journey, i was with finding Sierra.The bus would have crossed atleast 5 miles past IndraNagar, and yet no sign whatsoever.Convinced that i had somehow missed the route,i embarked from the bus and decided on tracing Sierra by walk.It was broad daylight and thanks to the barren roads and the scorching sun,i found myself dragging my feet and soul,in the hope of a prosperous future,on a road which monstrously seemed more determined than fate,to drain my every ounce of energy,life and vigour.

Finally, as a reward for my arduous efforts, i did spot the nameboard and to my dismay, there was a parade of graduates lined up outside the gate, with blind belief,fear,expectation and utter dejection that smeared theireyes,that were
meant to dream,envision,and rejoice. My eyes couldnt sympathise for them,for i was part of them,part of a crowd that would go to any extent to dump a competitor into the gutter of despondency and squeeze and crackany loophole to scramble to the top. The gates were opened and the mob rushed inside like a swarm of bees
whining all the way upto the point when they were ordered to keep quiet. Restlessness, was mounting inside me,and was on its way to eruption. I didnt faint,but i so badly wanted to, for it was way too much to bear the thought that i was sharing a single rung on a ladder of ruthless competition,merciless jealousy and last but not the least, needless needs. Needs of a status in the society,a sense of pride to flaunt a face high among family and friends, and
most importantly to quench the thirst and the craving desire of financial
independence.

As the filtration process began, the crowd was dispersed into different rooms to take our written tests,as would flocks of sheep to be batch processed for fur. The sheep lost part of them, and so did we. Our peace of mind. As expected, my beautiful mind could think of everything but commonsense on the test, and let me drown in peaceful waters of depression and failure. I kicked away the pain in my
heart,for i had become an expert at that in the past one year of my not so fruitful job search.With my legs yearning for some rest,and my poor brains wanting to sleep,i was more than happy to reach home and cut a sorry figure in
front of my parents.

Life isnt easy i knew, but my instinct kept reminding me that it shouldnt be so
difficult for the wrong reasons, for these expeditions leave thousands of people
like me who need a job,with wretched wounds, for they do not know what else they need,or could live with. After all those years,when i have finally landed in a job, I discovered non academic potentials in me that, if had properly been groomed would have blossomed into astonishing amounts of self confidence,and in
all likelihood, would have served me as a bastion of strength and enabled me to
swim through tides of fear,disbelief and depression on my painstaking journeys of
job hunts.


For all I knew, i wanted a job that merely managed to protect me in four walls eight hours a day,to be stuck in a suite stuck on a train, with no room for making a difference in my life. And this starking difference that i was longing to make for myself,unraveled in the form of my childhood hobby, dancing. Dance the only
other thing that i was probably good for,my parents and friends used to say.They wouldnt let me continue, for it wasnt considered to occupy elite positions in the list of "lucrative" careers that offered instant gratification.
But after 16 years when i joined my classes now, i realise that that it was one art that i was meant to perform, for i find inner peace that i lost in my job, a sense of worth,a meaning that i could live for,and serenity that cant be captured by words,but only by experience.I am on the verge of bestowing performances,for
i gained the confidence of my instructor soon enough. These days my job keeps going,
but more importantly my heart keeps going, for it dances to the tune of my long
neglected passion.


I am grooming these potentials inside me now ,with the hope that its never too late
to do something you like,not for the sake of society,or for money, not even for family and friends, but for the sheer happiness that it showers on you. I have grown to beleive that each one of us is gifted in God's own mysterious way, failure to discover it or negligence of it in pursuance of power,fame and wealth leaves behind an unexplainable emptiness,devoid of passion and dynamism,but could have all along
been nourished with ecstasy.

Open up, throw yourselves out, world is the limit, you are meant to make a difference!!!