Improvised Decisions and Failing Senses

(I dedicate this to Monica “Sticky” Lawson who read her butt off as my little revising slave. To MacKenzie Durham, who has amazing imagery and is a wonderful Christian gal. To my Mommy and Daddy who always tell me I can do it, even if the odds are as bad as my Great Uncle winning a hand of Texas Hold’em. Also to my brother Brandon, who supported me 100%, by answering all of my horribly lame questions and also correcting me on where to put this little paragraph.
But none of this would have been possible at all without God. I thank Him most of all, because I know without Him, I couldn’t do anything.)
: )

Introduction

“I laid my head down on the desk of my fifth period anatomy class. I enjoyed anatomy, I enjoyed school, but today, I had had enough. So many thoughts ran through my mind at that moment. What now, was the biggest question that tore at me. Yet the thought of how brilliantly my scheme had been thought out had most definitely not skipped my mind. The paucity of students in the class made it ideal for my plan. Scattered amongst the room no students were close together for the lack of density. By the means of simply lying my head down with my hands under that table, I felt I couldn’t fail this time.
My wrists had begun to hurt as soon as I got enough mettle to take the first step. Now, only minuets after, my fingers had become numb and my mind weary of what I had really done, and if I was really brave enough to go through with it. So long, had I waited for this moment to come when the conclusion to my novel of life would finally be written, but terrified of the nightmare I was to face, I suddenly regretted my actions. Ignorance was a more suitable word for my method rather than brilliance.
When I couldn’t move my fingers anymore I knew I had made the incision deep, deeper than I had expected out of a small piece of glass. As my vision began to blur and I started to become dizzy, the voices around me began to fade. It was time, I could feel it coming, and I was suddenly a little scared; more frightened than I had been in any of my previous attempts, but then again this was the closest I had every come to extricating myself from this tumult we call life.
In the moment of this act, I began thinking of him. He was the biggest reason I had done this. I knew he wouldn’t want me to take this precious gift from myself, I knew he didn’t blame me in anyway, but I blamed me; and that overpowered him. He wasn’t there anyway, why should I care what he wanted? He was gone and I knew he wasn’t coming back, but somewhere in my mind, I knew his posthumous wishes were important to me. Unfaithful as a friend and unjust as a person, admitting those attributes of myself now, I understand just how he bared me for song long, he had the distant thought of my salvation in mind; and wished only to help me.
As my condition began to worsen though, and the thought of him faded, I remember thinking I had committed the unthinkable and gotten away with it; and thinking of how I was going to regret it all in the end. I took a deep breath, thinking of all the people I had hurt, all of the people I had lost; and how I really didn’t want to leave anymore. It ran through my mind afterwards that I didn’t really want to leave Kaitlyn. For so long I had lived for one reason and one reason only, Kaitlyn. Now I was going to chicken out on her and leave her to some foster family that would never even know her name.
A loud scream nearby me told me I was caught, but they were too late, all of them. The pools of blood in the floor were becoming growlingly, bigger, and rapidly spreading around my seat and some of the seats around me. I sat quietly, silently, waiting patiently to leave… to leave this state, this country… this world; knowing I couldn’t reverse the events that had already committed. I dropped the piece of glass that had aided me as blood seeped from my aching wrists and my hands became too weak to hold or grasp even the most diminutive of objects. I heard the teacher running back toward the table where I sat.
I sat in the back of the classroom at the very back table, beside two girls who could care less if I lived or died. I guess they screamed in fear that Adam blood would get on their Cashmere bags… and they would catch Adam disease…being forever deemed with the dork disease… the outcast disease.” I stopped talking for a minute. My heart raced and my mind walked over all of the memories that had brought me where I was today.
“I… I don’t really remember much after that… I heard a lot of gasping, a lot of ‘Oh my Gods’… and then… then nothing. I woke up in the E.R. this morning.” I looked up at the psychiatrist, she was in pure shock. She removed her glasses and began to speak to me. I could tell she didn’t know where to start. If I knew myself I would have at least given her a clue, but I didn’t know either.
“Why?” That’s all she seemed to be able to force out of her mouth at the moment. “Why would you do that to yourself Adam?” I paused for a minute; disgusted at her… she thought I wanted attention?
“Why? Why not? Why are you here asking me all of these stupid questions? So you can try and figure out why I hate my life so much?! Why? Why am I strapped to this damn bed?! Why…? Why, you ask? Why are you asking me questions that you don’t know the answers to yourself?!” My voice had rapidly grown in tone; I was now breathing hard and upset. I gave myself a second to calm down. I was never good with this kind of thing, one on one conversations. It always ended in a lot of yelling.
“Why? Why ask you these questions… because you’re smart,” She answered in a calm tone. “Too smart to waste yourself on this. I can see that somewhere hidden in you is a good person. I want to help you find that person Adam-“
“There’s no help for me,” I interrupted abruptly. I hung my head low, knowing the words she promised and bribed me with were all false promises to get something out of me. Her face said she was ready for another match of word war, and was prepared to play dirty.
“So, Adam, do you cut yourself for attention a lot?” Ding, ding, ding, round one.
“What?” Ouch, that struck a nerve.
“Well, if you don’t want help, than it’s obvious that either you like the attention you get from all of this chaos or you just like the pain of it all.”
“I can assure you, I didn’t lay my inner wrists open for attention from a some stuck up bitch like you, or some doctor in the psych ward that’s dieing to put me in a new designer straight jacket.” I was growingly becoming angrier as what she had said really began to sink in. I hadn’t meant to curse towards her, but that was just cruel.
“Than what is it? You hate your life so much that you just don’t want to live anymore? You can’t stand the thought that something isn’t going right? Or is it just the thought that something might go wrong?”
“Look, Lady, I’ve already done too much wrong.” I stopped again in remembrance. “What is so hard to understand about me wanting to die? I don’t want attention; I don’t want help or guidance. I just want for all of these stupid memories to stop haunting me.” I looked away, knowing I told the brutal and hurtful truth. “I just wanted them all to go away, all of my stupid mistakes and appalling decisions. ”
“And you thought slitting your wrist would do the job?” I looked back at her.
“Well, I was hoping so, but after seven attempts I’m starting to think a Jack Daniels and a revolver would work a little better.” She looked up at me again. Her eyes where like rays of death. She was silent again. She studied me, but she wasn’t looking for the words to say this time, she was searching for how to say them.
“Seven attempts?” She questioned.
“Yeah, something else I’m not proud of,” I held out my wrists for her to see, they were in pretty bad shape. It looked like someone had taken a hacksaw and tried to take off both of my hands.
“Adam, I look at you and I can’t even begin to imagine why, a young, popular, eighteen year old boy, as yourself, would want to do something like that.” She had a little more sympathy in her voice now. “You say you’ve done this because of your memories but I just can’t understand what kind of memory could haunt you and hurt you so deeply as to make you want to take your own life.”
“You don’t even know the beginning.”
“I would if you’d tell me.”
“Yeah, like you want to hear anything I have to say. And even if you did, you wouldn’t understand, you’re nothing like me.”
“No, that’s where you’re wrong. I’m a lot like you actually. I grew up in close to the same situation. I tried to commit suicide when I was a teenager as well, for almost to the same reason. It’s also why I refuse to give up on you. I became a ‘shrink’ as you say, to help adolescents like you. Because I know, sometimes things get to be too much. I want to help you, and other troubled youth--.”
“Troubled youth, so I’m a troubled youth now?” I was just being difficult now. I could feel that she was trying to help me, I wanted to trust her and tell her everything, I had nothing to lose… and if I lost anything, we already knew it wouldn’t be my life… I wasn’t that lucky. “How much time do you have?”
“As long as it takes,” I hesitated for a moment but soon gave in and agreed.
“Here goes then. I hope you get paid by the hour.”
“I do,”
“Well, it all started about a year ago…”


Improvised Decisions and Failing Senses
Chapter 1

My father sat at the breakfast table reading the morning paper as usual. He took small sips of coffee and nibbled off of his toast every now and then. My mother, still in her robe, sat close to him. She had had a little too much sauce with her party the night before. She was popping aspirin like candy when I walked into the kitchen to get my books.
“Soccer game…” I started.
“5:30 tomorrow evening?” My mother smiled notifying me that she remembered. “We’ll be there.”
“You’ll be there…” My father corrected my mother, “I’ll be working late at the office.”
“Well, I’ll be there.” My mother finished. I picked up my gear and started to head out the door when my mother stopped me with her words.
“Honey, would you like your father to give you a ride? Gas is getting rather pricey these days” My mother offered for my father. He didn’t decline the offer but he gave her the ‘speak for yourself look’.
“No, thanks, I have enough money for gas.” I answered feeling the unwanted vibes from my father. My mom replied by just smiling at me. She had told me once that she understood how cool it made you look to drive up to your high school, in your sweet sixteen present. It wasn’t really that for me though, it was just that his driving made me nervous and his normal hostile attitude put me on the war path for the whole day.
“I’m going to stop by and pick up Jonah anyway.” Jonah and I had grown up together; we had been best friends since we were about five. We had played soccer together since the sixth grade. Our families where fairly similar in their structure even, only he had a little brother and I had a little sister.
“All right than, you wear those seatbelts, can’t have you flying through the windshield, now can we?” My father warned, not really caring, and probably hoping I would defy his orders and do just that; but needing to conclude the conversation to be on time for work he played it cool as the concerned parent.
My father wasn’t a very emotional man. He was cruel most of the time, heartless and cold, pig headed and rude… using only the adjectives off the top of my head. Most of the time we didn’t get a long very well… well, to be quite honest we never got along. He thought I was a selfish, inconsiderate teenager… (To quote him directly) and I thought he was a conceded prick… just to show the loving bond we share.
“All right, I love you Mom,” I yelled as I ran out the door. I never told my dad I loved him and he never said he loved me… liars do go to Hell after all.
“See you at five thirty honey!” My mother yelled after me, waving her arm almost uncontrollably. My mom may have liked her martinis and champagne a little too much, but the inside was what counted.
I pulled up to Jonah’s house at about eight; we were always running a little behind, it was almost like a disease. We called it the “I love being Tardy disease”, appropriately named after its consequence. He lived in a nice house, in a nice neighborhood, with nice neighbors; sickening really. Jonah’s parents were nice people too. His mom was a science teacher at our school, and his dad was a pastor at our church; the church I hadn’t been to since I was five. They had handed everything to him, he had never worked for anything, neither had I; but I acted like it, he didn’t. I understood why he didn’t though, he understood the importance of life, you do after you almost lose it.
I honked the horn once and he came running out of the house with half of a bagel in his mouth. He was tall and thin, active and very hyper, but also very smart. We always joked that he would be president one day and he probably would’ve. He got half way to the car, dropped his stuff in front of it and ran back to the front door where his mother awaited a good bye kiss. He kissed her and made a mad dash for the passenger side door. He picked up his stuff on the way, stuck the half eaten bagel back into his mouth and jumped in the car. He was quick to offer me a bite; I was quite quick to decline.
“Bagel?” He mumbled with the soggy thing still wedged in his mouth.
“No, thanks.” He finished wedging it in his mouth and quickly made history of it. “Tardy slip?” I joked.
“No thanks.” He smiled and so did I. “I’m sorry, you know I love mommy.” Jonah was hilarious; he was like a three year old in an eighteen year’s old body when it came down to his mom.
“Speaking of, is she not going to work today?”
“Nope, not today. It’s a leisure day disguised as a sick day.”
“Well, if I’m late because you’re a mommy’s girl I’m going to break your little, skinny, ass in half.” We both just laughed, he knew better than I did that I’d never do it.
We walked in the school as the first bell was ringing. The first bell was only a warning bell though, the second bell was the tardy bell, the two were five minuets apart.
“Hi Adam,” One girl replied to me, as we passed her in the hallway. I was a little shy around the opposite gender; I simply smiled and gave a small wave. Jonah looked back at her, and then to me.
“What?” I questioned. He looked back once more, and then at me, and smiled.
“You feisty like devil you.” Jonah replied, making an odd eyebrow gesture.
“I just said ‘hi’,” I defended myself.
“That was no ordinary ‘hi’ that was a go on a date with me ‘hi’. Besides, no one… I repeat… no one… just says ‘hi’… to Katie Morris.” Jonah always had some weird comment to add when I made contact with a girl. “We have to work on your social skills my friend.” He concluded continuing to walk toward our original destination.
“Yeah, like yours are much better.” I added.
“Actually, I am the king of conversation.”
“Yeah, sure. What about in the third grade when you ask Emily Jacobs out at lunch and she smashed your cupcake in the floor? She really had a lot of sympathy for you when you started crying. Yes, you truly are a player of words.”
“Hey, she was going through a rough time, her recess had been taken away.” Jonah was always joking and wise cracking; he had some silly excuse for every calamity. “Besides is that you’re most recent achieve, man, I really am terrible.”
“No, remember last year when you ask Anna Wilson to the prom and she-“
“…threw a geometry book at my head? Yes, I remember. She should pitch softball, that Anna has quite an arm.” Jonah rubbed his forehead in remembrance.
“You always did look for love in all the wrong places.”
“Quoting song lyrics on me, and you call me corny. Besides, Annabel loves me.” He boasted.
“That would be some grounds for bragging rights… if Annabel didn’t drink out of the toilet, walk on four legs and wasn’t a Labrador.” Jonah smiled.
“I wonder if the school offers a class on these sorts of things. I’m thinking good social skills would be important out in the real world. Besides, I would most definitely drop life skills for it.”
“No, you need life skills” I laughed, “They need to teach you how to clean, your room it’s a disaster zone.” Just as I finished, the tardy bell rung… we were late. I looked at Jonah, he looked at me and we both spontaneously made a mad dash for room 208.
We entered home room quietly but quickly, trying to stealth by Mrs. Conner, the hot tempered AP Euro teacher who got a good laugh out of kicking the desk of sleepy students or chucking erasers at the noisier ones. Jonah had been a victim of the eraser pitch once or twice.
As we approached our seats the laughter of the other students brought her attention to us. We were almost laughing ourselves; Jonah was quietly humming the mission impossible theme after all. It was appropriate though, no one every got by Mrs. Conner, and we were no exception. She turned to us with her hands on her hips, and her glasses down on the tip of her nose.
“Boys,” She scolded, “tardy again?” Her voice pierced my eardrums, every single morning, she yelled the same thing, in her usual and obvious, scratchy, smoker’s voice. It reminded me of my grandma, when she was trying to be angry.
“No…” Jonah tried getting us out of it. “We’re just standing here… with our books in hand… out of breath… stretching our legs?” He glanced over at me and shrugged, then back at her. I just shook my head.
“Give it up,” I quietly, encouraged.
“Yeah, we’re late.” He gave in.
“That’s another tardy.” She shook her head once or twice, and then began to stair at us, her eyes as big as softballs and veins popping from her neck. This signified that we should sit down before she started throwing dry erase markers again, she did that occasionally too, and those hurt a little more than erasers.
After homeroom, I didn’t meet up with Jonah again until lunch. Luckily, we both had classes in the English department; therefore we had the same lunch time. I was entering the line as he was coming out. His tray was filled to the rim with a variety of fatty, fried, school food. He was many things, but not a picky eater.
“Hungry?” I jokingly questioned.
“No, not really,” He answered in his usual sarcastic tone. “I’ll save you a seat,” He concluded with some brief laughter.
I entered the line to pick up a tray, to my surprise someone else was trying to pick up the same tray. It just happened to be the girl from the hallway earlier, Katie Morris, attached to the other end of it. I could feel myself turning candy, apple red in the face.
“Take it,” I instructed, grabbing the tray under it.
“Thanks,” She shyly replied. “So… I saw the game last Saturday…” She started making conversation as she filed in line behind me, “you did… a… a good kick.” I glanced at her to notice she was now redder than I had been earlier; she was nerdier than I was.
“Well three years of karate paid off I suppose.” It was a little corny and I honestly, expected her to run away screaming, thinking I was the biggest moron in the world, but she merely smiled and laughed at the comment. “Uh, do… want to…” I stopped and started over, talking a little slower and calmer this time. “Would you… like to sit with me?” She smiled at me and gladly accepted.
“I would love to.”
We approached the table where Jonah had seated himself. He sat in front of Matt and beside Andrew, two more soccer junkies we had also grown up with. I sat down beside Jonah, and Katie seated herself beside me. Jonah looked at her and then back at me, giving me the weirdest eyebrow gesture ever, smiling all the while. He winked at me and gave me thumbs up of approval, and returned to his eating. Other than that no one really noticed. Jonah stuffed potato wedges into his mouth one after another, while the other two checked out a cheerleader taking her tray up. I decided I would try and strike up a conversation, but as I opened my mouth she stood to take her tray up turning her back to my open mouth.
“Thanks, I’ll… see you later.” She smiled and swiftly walked away. Jonah had been watching silently and was laughing at my failure.
“Good timing Casanova.” He replied standing to take his tray up, I stood with him and followed, with my mouth still hanging open.
The rest of the day was a drag pretty much. We messed around through fifth, trying to see if Mrs. Gray would go off and pull her hair out or something along those lines. I took a nap in Pre-cal, while Jonah attentively listened, understanding everything the teacher was saying; and hit the door at three as soon as the bell rang.
‘T.G.I.F. my friend.” Jonah announced. “Are you and your lady friend eating spaghetti by the moonlight at the end of a dark alley, listening to classical music?”
“Dude, this is California, you don’t go in dark alleys… period, and it would be rap I do believe. Besides, she walked off remember?”
“Oh yeah, your timing blows, completely forgot.”
“Thanks for not rubbing it in.” I sarcastically added.
“Well, I’m sorry to tell you this… but you’re stuck with me… again.” Jonah announced putting his hand on my shoulder in sympathy. I just laughed.
“What a shame that you are the only person I have to spend my Friday nights with.”
“I know, it upsets me too,” We quickly walked to the car and made our way home.

I dropped Jonah off at his house and headed on to mine, we had agreed to meet up at about five, and see what kind of trouble we could get into before sundown; or for me to see what kind of trouble I could drag him into. I pulled into my driveway to find that my dad’s car was the only one home. I hadn’t expected anyone to be home, both mom and dad usually worked late. Most days after school I’d walk around in my boxers, just for the sheer beauty that no one was home and I could.
“Dad?” I called through the house as I entered the front door. I could hear laughter upstairs, I thought maybe he was on the phone, or mom’s car was just in the garage and I hadn’t seen it when I came in. I almost didn’t go up, thinking of how horrified I would be if I walked in on my mom and dad doing the nasty; but my curiosity and sensibility forced me to investigate the matter further, even though I had a legit excuse for not exploring. I knocked on the door of my mom and dad’s bedroom, figuring it couldn’t be heard over the loud music playing.
“Dad?” I called once more before entering. I opened the door to find my father sitting on the bed and his secretary sitting in his lap with her top off.
“Adam, wait Adam,” He called after me as I began to run for the door. I quickly darted down the stairs but he was right behind me. When I stopped to open the front door he appeared right behind me and shut it faster than I could open it. He roughly turned me around to where I was facing him and pined me to the door quite forcefully.
“It’s not what it looks like…” He started.
“Yeah and my little sister doesn’t belong to your interior decorator. Stop trying to lie your way out of it. You said you’d stop… you said you’d stop cheating on mom after Kaitlyn was born, you’re a liar, you son of a bitch!” I struggled to get away, but he pinned me tight against the door. He pulled me a few feet from the door and slammed me back into it trying to gain control of the situation again... and he succeeded. The door knob jammed into my lower back sending a gut wrenching pain up my spine. As he started using less force against me I began to sink into the floor, as he loosened his grip completely I fell quickly to the cold, hard, wooden floor, just laying there for a moment unable to move.
“You haven’t told anyone about that little secret of ours have you? I told you what would come of it if you did. I’ll kill you and whoever you told, I swear I will, I’ll shoot you right between the eyes you little shit, and you know it. You may be my son, but my career is more important and this wouldn’t be too pretty on the headlines… no offense.” He began to walk back upstairs, he didn’t even look back. He meant every word of it and would stand by it. I had told Jonah everything. We had no secrets from each other, but I would never tell my father that. I began to stand, my back surging with pain. I brought myself to my knees and then to my feet. I braced my back with my hand and used the door as a prop to lean against. I repeated every word in my head… some out loud, quietly giving the response I wish I could’ve applied to each.
“No offense… none taken… prick.” I grabbed my keys and headed out the door, it was only five after four but I figured I would go and get Jonah early for a change.
Jonah showed up at his front door in his boxers and a toothbrush in his mouth.
“You’re early… that’s a bad sign,” He mumbled trying not to drip toothpaste everywhere. He opened the door and stepped to the side letting me in. I walked past him and waited for him to take lead. He soon did so starting up the stairs and signaling for me to follow.
Jonah and I was no stranger to one another’s secrets. He knew all of my deepest secrets, and I knew his. Some secrets we had created separately, others we had created together. His bare back revealed a secret we had created together one summer. A cross tattooed on his left shoulder with the words John 3:16 scribed on a ribbon under it was his secret, mine was a little dragon in the top, middle, of my back that looked really weird unless you where under the influence. He had chosen his to cover a large scar, I had gotten mine just so I could say I had one. We had gotten them together and regretted them together; regretting them, when we couldn’t go around without a shirt if our parents were home.
He led me up to his room where the floor was hardly visible for all the dirty clothes. I sat down on his bed and awaited his return. It seemed like almost yesterday we where sitting in the floor over there, playing with toy cars. Over the years things in our lives had changed, but thankfully our friendship hadn’t been one of them. Jonah came back in a pair of khaki shorts and a Eastern Hills Varsity soccer shirt, his normal attire. He took a seat in the computer chair and started off the conversation.
“So… what’s up?” I told him everything, I always did, and I knew that whatever was said between us would stay between us. He scratched his head for a minute, he had no idea what to say to me. I could see that he was having trouble finding something that wouldn’t make the matter worse.
“Man…” He started, but reconsidered his words. “I’m really sorry,”
“It’s ok,” I answered, but it really wasn’t. I had just witnessed an affair between a high class business man and his secretary.
“Well, it’s my philosophy that it’s best to get your mind off of a troublesome subject,” I could tell he was working up to something mischievous, when he started out like that it usually did. “so, it ends up boiling down to egging Dean Robinson’s Mercedes… again,” I just laughed, we had egged his car last Halloween after a school dance had let out. We had sat in the bushes in front of his house watching him shout profanities and laughing so hard we couldn’t breathe. “…or the theater, it’s up to you my friend.” I didn’t put much thought into option number one, last time a kid at school ratted us out and we got expelled for a few days. The theater didn’t sound very appetizing but it was our last source of entertainment.
“I think I’ll take option number two please.” I decided.
“Alright, number two it is. But, as astonishing as this may be and as rare as this happens… we’re probably going to be late.”
“That’s never happened before.” I joked as we began to leave.
“I know, making history, right here.” He laughed picking up his jacket.
When we finally arrived at the movies we were almost an hour late, we hadn’t been in too big of a rush to get there, we wasn’t too stoked about going anyway. To our surprise as we pulled up Matt and Andrew stood outside, Matt was on a cell phone and Drew was kicking a piece of garbage around.
“Hey!” Drew called out to us, waving.
“Hey there,” Jonah replied, speeding up to join the two. “When people come to the theater they usually watch a movie inside, not talk on the cell phone outside.” Matt sarcastically smiled and gave us the finger symbolizing he hadn’t found the gesture humorous.
“He’s having female troubles.” Drew explained. We instantly understood, but as usual Jonah had to crack a joke.
“So… it’s normal now for guys to have the menstrual cycle? Adam, dude, I’m scared… I’m really late… like never started late.” Jonah said very seriously, while Drew and I practically rolled on the ground.
Matt had been with his girlfriend Jennifer for going on two years. They had their ups and downs, but mostly downs. Jennifer was quite the self-centered companion, and Matt was the ‘let-her-step-all-over-me’ type; so it worked out okay. But lately Matt had been standing up for himself a little more, not letting her run his life as much as usual. It was a nice change, we actually got to spend time with him now, rather than making fun of him when he had to sit in the Fashion Boutique with all of the other men that let there women wear the pants. Matt ended his call and put his cell phone back into the pocket in disgust and stepped over to join us.
“No women tonight bro,” He explained to Drew.
“Great, you have a falling out with your girl ruining your night, and mine too? Thanks Matt… appreciate it.”
“Jen bringing a friend for you?” I assumed.
“Was, until Romeo over here refused to bend over and take it from Juliet. Just once… just once… could you have let her rude comments and unthankful attitude slide?” Matt shook his head and rolled his eyes at Drew, reminding him that he was taller, stronger, and older. “Hey, what about you and Katie Morris, Adam? Saw the two of you at the lunch table together, what’s that evolving into?” Drew changed the subject, realizing he was cruising for a bruising.
“Nothing really,” I explained, “We just talked a little,” All three boys looked at one another, and then simultaneously burst out into laughter.
“Yeah, I bet.” Matt answered. “You were just talking to the most coveted single, junior in the school.”
“Hey, hey, do you guys know what’s tonight?” Drew questioned, quickly changing the subject… again.
“Drew, you have the attention span of a lima bean.” Jonah added the truth into the conversation but Drew could’ve cared less.
Silence fell among us. “Well… do you know?”
I looked at Jonah, he glanced at Matt and we all starred at the clueless Drew, who had no idea we had no idea.
“It’s only been the most talked about event in the past two months.” No one seemed to be following. “You know the big event of the year?” Silence. “Come on, you know-.”
“No Drew, we don’t know, no one knows what you’re talking about.” Matt finally announced.
“Michael Grant’s twenty first birthday party.”
“Oh, is it that one with the sex, drinking, drugs and naked women?” I questioned.
“Yeah, yeah, that one; only I think the strippers stood them up.”
“Ok, that’s all and well, happy birthday Mike… Michael, whoever you are. Regardless, you don’t even know the guy, and neither do we, how are you expecting to get into his twenty first birthday party?” Matt questioned. The look in Drew’s eyes signified that he had a plan.
“Oh no, I don’t like that look, every time I see that my mommy has to come get me at the police station.” Jonah answered, we all laughed at him, he hated getting in trouble, and we loved getting him in it.
“Well, if we get some pepper spray, some fake wigs, mustaches, fake I.D. or two, and four Dr. Peppers I think we can get in.” Drew explained.
“What’s the pepper spray for?” Matt asked, soon regretting it.
“Well, I thought we could hide it in our underwear just incase the whole deal went badly and we needed to spray the body guards.” Drew was just being ridiculous by this time, he wasn’t meaning a word he was saying but he had us all laughing pretty hard.
“…and the Dr. Peppers?” I questioned.
“To drink? Crap you guys are dumb. This will never work.”
“Really? And our hopes were so high.” Jonah replied.
“Being a minor really blows,” Drew sighed.
“Ok, are you ready for my plan?” I addressed the group.
“After 007’s plan, we’re honestly ready to lose all hope and shoot ourselves out of pure boredom… but go for it.” Jonah sarcastically added.
“The go karts don’t close until eight on Fridays… it’s only five.” The three smiled at each other and agreed to the plan, quickly and excitedly.
“I still say we need to pick up some pepper spray in case they try to say I’m too short to drive without a parent again.” Drew announced.
“Shut up Drew, that was in the third grade.” Jonah reminded him.
“I haven’t grown much,”
“No, just an inch or twelve.” Matt added.
We all ended up enjoying the rest of the night, even though the day had been rather shaky.