Short story "An English Lesson"

AN ENGLISH LESSON

A short story written by Leigh Martin.


MONDAY………

“No!. Smoke your own cigarettes!”
“I’ve run out! Lindy, don’t be such a bitch!”
“Gareth!. It’s not my fault you spend all your money boozing with your mates! You don’t even buy my cigarettes, leave them ALONE!”
“Ah. Jeeeez. Lindy!” Gareth sighed as he lit the stolen smoke.
“Look. I’m not out with my mates tonight. I don’t want to fight with you. Let’s have a romantic night in and work on a brother for Tracy eh?”
“I don’t feel romantic, and while you’re in you could fix the drain in the kitchen!” Lindy sulked.
“Bloody hell woman! I may as well go out!” Gareth got up and took angry strides to the front door.
“Just don’t go spending more dosh! Remember we’re out with my family on Friday, we’re gonna need it!” Lindy yelled at Gareth as he slammed the front door, so hard that the glass pane in the door cracked.
“Great!” Lindy thought. “Now I have to find the money to replace that! I’ll have to put in a couple more shifts at Burger King sometime this week, hopefully, before Friday”. The door slamming started the inevitable whining of little Tracy upstairs.
“Shit!” Lindy exclaimed.
Half an hour later, Lindy was curled up on the couch with nine month old Tracy gurgling in the crook of her arm and looking wide awake. While Lindy cooed and made faces at Tracy she contemplated how she felt.
“Lord knows how I ended up with all this on my hands”. She thought.
“I do love Gareth. I think he will be a proud father one day. If he could just settle down in one job and get some stability going, then we could move up in the world”. Just then the phone rang shrilly and startled Tracy into full wakefulness once more.
“Hiya?” Lindy answered, lighting a cigarette and fully expecting Gareth’s slurred voice.
“Everything alright, dear?” a comforting voice asked
“Oh, Hi Mum! Yeah. All’s well at the moment anyhow! What’s up?” Lindy said trying to sound more chipper.
“Well, Dad and I were talking about your birthday coming up and we were wondering what you wanted. Of course I said, you’d be needing some new clothes for little Tracy and remember that rocking horse you wanted for her room? I thought we’d stretch the budget a bit and get you that, but Dad reckons maybe you’d like to enroll in that night school, down the road?”
“Jeez, mum! I’d love to enroll in the night school! but who’s gonna look after Tracy at night?” Lindy sighed.
“You’ll have to get that man of yours to sit the nights that you’re at school won’t you?”
Lindy heard the clipped disapproval in her mother’s voice.
“Ah mum. How can I trust he’ll stay here or maybe even bring his mates round and have the place upside down while Tracy lays upstairs crying!?” she asked, not expecting an answer.
“Look! It took the both of you to make that little ‘un and it’ll take the both of you to look after her. If Gareth doesn’t understand that then perhaps he should go to night school as well!”
“Ok Mum! I’ll talk to Gareth and see what he says. Are we still all on for Friday?” Lindy changed the subject.
“Yeah, so far as I know, looks like Johnny and Sheila will be coming and your cousin Peter with his wife, they’ve got the kids with them so they won’t be staying too long, but we thought we’d start it off about sevenish, that’s all right isn’t it?” her voice lighter now.
“Sounds good, I’m really looking forward to it, Thanks mum!” Lindy smiled.
“All right luv. I’ll give you a ring later in the week, take care now.”
“Night mum!” Lindy sat with a smile on her face thinking of Friday and how long it had been since she’d been out and enjoyed herself. She hoped Gareth wasn’t going to spoil things for her. She took little Tracy back up to her cot, she’d finally fallen asleep at the sound of Lindy’s voice and once again Lindy breathed a sigh of relief as she closed the door and went down the stairs.

Lindy was preparing a bottle of tea for Tracy in case she woke in the night, when she heard the familiar raised voices next door. A couple not much older than Gareth and herself had moved in with their 2 year old son, who spent most of his time throwing stones and dragging their Maltese poodle around the small garden by the tail. Lindy hoped that by the time Gareth and her were the same age as these people next door, they would at least be in their own home. She hoped sincerely, sometimes even prayed that she was not just dreaming about this coming true. Everyone on this council estate fought. All couples had the tell tale dark circles under the eyes and on more than one night a week you could hear all the male folk in the parking lot guffawing at jokes, complaining about the women folk in their lives while sucking on beers. The door slammed pulling Lindy out of her reverie.
“Lindy!! Lindy!…..Where are you?!” Gareth yelled.
“In the kitchen!”
Gareth burst through the door, positively glowing with excitement.
“Lindy, Can you get hold of your brother and ask if I can borrow his blue suit?”
“It’s a bit late now, but……”
“Please!” Gareth interrupted.
“I’ve got an interview tomorrow for a brilliant job! It’s in Ireland for an Insurance company. The money’s really good. I’m gonna need some money for the fare as well. Y’think your mum will lend it to us? – I’ve gotta get this job, it sounds great!” Gareth paused to draw breath.
“Wait! Gareth. How do you know about the interview? Have you even spoken to the company? I’m not going to borrow money and clothes for you to go to Ireland on a wild goose chase?” Lindy frowned feeling suddenly exposed.
“Ah, Jeeeez! There’s that negativity again!” Gareth smiled at her.
“Lindy. Ted told me about the position. He said they’ve got positions for about five guys. It’s first come first served starting from 2 o clock tomorrow afternoon, pays five pounds an hour” Gareth grinned.
“To do what?” Lindy asked.
“Renovations to the building. It’s a six week contract, what do you think?”
“If you get it – you won’t be here for my birthday!” Lindy gasped.
“True! But I’ll be able to bring you back a brilliant present?” Gareth winked at Lindy.
“You phone my brother. And, while you’re at it, ask him for the fare money too. Mum’s paying for Friday night. I’m not going to let you stuff that up!” Lindy got up from the stool that had been supporting most of her shock and marched upstairs.
“Good night my sweetness!” Gareth called up behind her.
“Yeah. You too” Lindy whispered back.

TUESDAY………

Tracy slept through the night for the first time. Lindy woke up feeling disorientated and panic stricken at the amount of light filtering through the curtains. She jumped out of bed to check on Tracy and found her still sleeping peacefully! Gareth had already left. When she went to the kitchen to make and enjoy a quiet cup of coffee, a rare treat at this time of the morning, there was a note on the counter for her from Gareth.

-“Hey sleepy head! Didn’t want to wake you. Left this morning early. Had to stop by your brother’s place first. Should see you this afternoon about five-ish, maybe we can celebrate later?”-

There were a multitude of emotions running through Lindy’s mind and stomach at the thought of Gareth being away from her and Tracy for six weeks! How would she cope? She still wasn’t really used to being on her own in the house for fear of who may break in, or what could go wrong. She didn’t like to have to call on family members while she was trying to prove her independence to them all. Yes. They all had their doubts about her and Gareth, and maybe they were right, but she wasn’t going to give in without a fight!

Lindy rushed upstairs after taking too long over morning coffee. Tracy needed to be woken up and dressed so Lindy could drop her at Mrs Kidson’s house. Mrs Kidson looked after Tracy while Lindy did as many shifts as she could beg for at Burger King.

“Please Rob?” Lindy pleaded, explaining that she wanted the nine till two and two till six shift that day.
“Y’know I’m not supposed to allow one person to work those hours Lindy!”
“Yes, but Rob. I won’t tell if you don’t. Please?!”
“Get out of my face Lindy! You can do it, but I don’t want to remember you doing it. Do you understand?”
“Thanks!” Lindy beamed her appreciation at Rob. There was a time at school she thought back on. Rob and Lindy could have gotten together. Gareth stepped in the way of course, but now and again she sometimes wondered how it would have been with Rob. He seemed so responsible and so gentle.

The breakfast shift went quickly followed by the mad rush of lunch. It always amazed Lindy how much money people had to spend on junk food. They were always the same people. Some she even recognized from the breakfast rush of the same day! By three o’clock things had calmed down enough for Lindy to feel her feet throbbing. She grabbed herself a burger and a milkshake and took half an hour to eat. Then, with her feet stretched out on the seat of the booth she smoked her customary cigarette. She would make thirty six pounds today. Enough for food and maybe put some away to replace the glass in the front door.

The walk home was slow. Her feet didn’t seem to want to work anymore. By the time she got to Mrs Kidson’s place, picked up Tracy and set off on her way again it was already quarter to seven and she was bushed.
“An early night is what’s needed tonight!” She thought as she put the key in the front door. It took a while for her tired brain to register the sound of revelry pouring through the walls, music blaring, the sound of boorish laughter and obvious celebration. “Oh Lord help me! Lindy thought. I really don’t feel like joining in tonight!”

“Gareth?” Lindy appeared in the doorway after putting Tracy in her walking ring.
“Lindy! Hello my petal! Guess what?! I got the job! Isn’t that great?”
“That’s great. Gareth” she said lamely staring at the other five or six apparent guests.
“Well! You don’t seem very happy for me? Don’t I get a kiss or something?”
“Not now Gareth. I’m really tired. I’m going to make supper ok?” Lindy turned to leave the room.
“Don’t worry Lindy. We’re having take out’s tonight to celebrate. Chris should be on his way back from Burger King any minute now!”
Gareth called after her. Lindy spun round.
“Burger King! I bloody well work there, I’m sick of their food!” Lindy spat.
“Well. What do you want, Pizza, Chinese, anything! I’ll get it for you ok?” Gareth asked nervously.
“Leave it Gareth. I don’t want anything. I’m going to feed Tracy, bath her and go to bed! Good night!”
Just then Chris burst through the door, shouting “Never fear, food is here!”
“Oh Hi Lindy. Hows you?” he stopped short asking her.
“Fine thanks Chris. Just tired. I’m off to bed.”
“Alright lads!” Chris shouted “I think that’s our cue to leave eh? Here Gareth. Here’s your food. Sort the money out with me later, see ya!”

Suddenly, just like that, they all got up and grabbed jackets and off they went. Lindy was still standing in the kitchen doorway, watching the goings on like a movie. Gareth went to her and gave her a big hug.
“Come on now. We were just having one beer to celebrate. They’ve all got homes to go to y’know? They’re not going to move in. Why are you always so worried about having a little bit of fun?” Gareth soothed.
“Because, having fun costs money and we don’t have any. I’ve had to work a double shift today just to get a few bits and bobs, plus we have to get that door fixed thanks to you and fun!” Lindy pointed at the crack in the glass door.
“Don’t worry about it any more sweety. I’m working now. I’ll pay for it, and I don’t want you doing double shifts anywhere anymore. You hear me?” Gareth smoothed his hands over her hair and looked into her eyes.
“When are you starting work?” Lindy asked.
“I’ll be leaving on Thursday night, to start on Friday morning”
“It’s my birthday on Friday!” Lindy moaned.
“I know honey. We haven’t exactly got a lot of choice in this y’know. Don’t worry, apart from this weekend, I’ll be home every weekend and I’ll get you a nice present with my first weeks wages ok?” Gareth was getting bored with this conversation.
“But, I’m not sure I want to be without you for such a long time. I don’t like being alone with Tracy. Can’t we come with you?” Lindy pleaded.
“No silly! It’s a construction site. There’s nowhere for you and Tracy to even sleep. For Gods sake! Don’t look so miserable, it’s only six or eight weeks!”

It could have been due to fatigue or maybe Lindy was hungry. All of a sudden she burst into uncontrollable sobs and could not seem to stop, much to Gareth’s concern. He jumped up and poured a glass of dry sherry.
“Here. Drink this.” He pushed the glass in front of her covered face. Lindy downed the sherry in one gulp.
“Atta Girl!” Gareth grinned.
“Sorry. I, I’m just tired. I don’t know what to do anymore!”
“What’s the big deal all about?” Gareth asked.
“I’m scared Gareth. Scared about my future. Our future. Tracy as well. Mum and dad offered for me to go to night school as a kind of birthday present, but how can I go? You’re working now. I’ve got no one to look after Tracy on a night. We can’t afford to pay someone, so I’m going to be stuck working at Burger King for the rest of my life! I’m just trying to make something of my life for all our sakes. I’m not like you. I can’t just sit and do nothing until something comes up!” Lindy’s voice had taken on a shrill tone and Gareth was getting a headache.
“Lindy, Lets just hang on for another couple of months, I promise I’ll sit with Tracy on the nights just as soon as a local job comes up that gets me home before six every night. Right now, we have to take what we can get ok? Besides, it doesn’t make sense to join night school half way through the year, why don’t you go and see them tomorrow and find out when the new year starts and enroll for then? You could also find out about babysitters ‘n stuff, half the girls there are in the same boat as you! I mean us!”
Lindy noticed the slip, but didn’t bother picking at it. She realized in that moment that he was right anyway. It was becoming more and more obvious to her that she was the one with the problem, problem being Tracy, not Gareth. Instead, she got up and switched on the T.V and asked
“When was the last time you and I watched the late night movie together?”
WEDNESDAY………..

Lindy woke up stretching and realized Gareth was not beside her. She sat up and listened for Tracy. Just then Gareth walked through the door holding a gurgling Tracy. Granted she needed to be changed. Lindy could see the baby grow had the tell tale dark patches at the back, still, Gareth was holding Tracy! She seemed quite happy about it aswell, burbling and gurgling merrily!
“Morning sleepy head!” Gareth bounced on the bed with Tracy on his chest.
“Hey there! When did you wake up?” Lindy yawned.
“Oh. Little-un here had me up from about half five, so we’ve been playing” Gareth answered distractedly.
“Had you changed her nappy, she might have gone back to sleep for a while y’know?” Lindy smiled knowingly.
“I’ll leave that for you to do” Gareth glanced at her and went back to chuckling Tracy under the chin. “I’ll stay at home with Tracy today.” Gareth suggested. “No need to take her to Mrs Kidson’s Ok? You go on and take a bath and you can take your time going to work today. How’s that sound?”
“Brill, Gareth! Jeez thanks!” Lindy jumped up and gave him a hug and a kiss then practically ran into the bathroom.
“A cup of coffee would really do it for me Gareth!” she yelled from the bathroom.
“Sure!” Gareth shouted back.

The morning seemed to march past at an amazing rate for Lindy and by the time her coffee and cigarette break came, she was ready for it. Sitting there having her usual day dream of a different life and a different time, she was staring through the window, when she saw one of Gareth’s mates walk past, Ted. She thought it was. Yes, and hang on, there was Gareth! With another of the guys she did not know the name of, but hang on, her mind was slow to register the warning bells and the reasons for them, wait! Where was Tracy?! “Shit!” She cursed and jumped up. She pushed past the queue blocking the doorway and by the time she was on the outside pavement, she had lost sight of all the guys. She turned slowly and walked back inside while thinking how silly she was to overreact. Obviously Gareth had decided to take Tracy to Mrs Kidson after all. Probably once his mates rocked up he had changed his mind about staying at home with Tracy. Yes that was it! She took a deep breath and thought she had better start her shift again. She checked the time and saw she had five minutes left of her break. Strolling towards the payphone she thought she would just phone Mrs Kidson and let her know what time she would be finishing her shift and picking up Tracy. The phone rang for a long while and an out of breath Mrs Kidson finally answered.
“Hello?”
“Hi. Mrs Kidson! It’s me. Did I catch you at a bad time?” Lindy asked trying to keep her voice calm.
“No love. Just walked in the door! The bloody lift’s broken again, so I’ve had to hoof it up the stairs with all my shopping!”
“Oh Lord! And Tracy too?” Lindy sympathized.
“Tracy?…” Mrs Kidson said vaguely.
“Don’t you have Tracy with you too?” Lindy could feel panic rising again.
“No. Should I have? What’s going on dear?” Mrs Kidson sounded concerned herself now.
“Oh, er, don’t worry Mrs Kidson. Just Gareth obviously didn’t make his mind up whether he was dropping Tracy with you or staying with her himself today. I’ll phone him. Sorry to have bothered you!” Lindy felt sick as she slammed the phone in its cradle.
“Joe!” she yelled from the kitchen doorway. “Joe! I’ve got to go now! I can’t find my daughter!” Lindy was frantic.
“Alright, I’ll see you in five minutes then?” Joe smirked unconcerned.
“If God is good you will!” Lindy snapped back as she was pulling on her coat.

Lindy was marching down the road blindly in the direction she last saw Gareth and Ted travelling in. She had no idea where they could have been off to. There didn’t seem to be any pubs down this side of town and she could not think where Gareth would have left Tracy. Lindy was about to turn around and go back in the direction she had come from, when a side door that opened onto the street was pushed open and she practically fell onto Ted negotiating the pavement.
“Ted!” Lindy yelped.
“Hey there?” Ted responded, visibly surprised to see Lindy. Just then, Gareth tumbled on to the pavement, looking just as surprised. Lindy didn’t waste a second.
“Gareth! Where’s Tracy!?”
“I, er” Gareth stammered. “She’s in the park with Ted’s girlfriend”
“Which Park! Who’s Ted’s girlfriend? Are they still there? Are you Mad?!” Lindy was furious and completely unaware she was yelling in the middle of the street. She felt flushed and frustrated.
“Take me there right now!” she demanded.
“Lindy, we are just on our way to the agents to get our tickets for tomorrow. Come with us and then we’ll pick up Tracy?”
“No! I want you to take me to her right now Gareth! How could you offer to look after her and then leave her with a total stranger?” Lindy glared at Gareth.
“She’s not a stranger, she’s Ted’s girlfriend!” Gareth responded weakly.
“Oh! And does Ted’s girlfriend have a name? Do you even know what she looks like!” Lindy spluttered.
“Lindy! For God’s sake she’ll be fine!” Gareth was aware of Ted’s amused interest in their domestic quarrel and felt embarrassed.
“Take me there now Gareth!” Lindy demanded. Gareth sighed.
“Do us a favour Ted. Pick my ticket up for me and drop it round my place later will you?”
“Sure!” Ted shot over his shoulder already on his way.
Gareth took Lindy’s arm and started walking.
“Do you always have to embarrass me in front of my friends? I mean, Jeez woman! Everytime they see you you’re yelling at me for something!”
“Well! Why do you do these things to me? What do you expect?” Lindy shot back.
“What have I done that’s so bad? People take babies to the park all the time! It’s hardly something unheard of!”
“Yeah” Lindy said oozing sarcasm. “But usually the people are related to the baby in some way Gareth!”

As they entered the park Gareth muttered under his breath that Lindy missed her calling as an actress since she is the ultimate drama queen. They reached the center of the park and scanned all corners.
“Gareth, where is she!” Lindy yelled.
“I’m looking! Hang on! There’s a girl over there. No-,” Gareth paused.
“Do you know her name?” Lindy whispered with amazement.
“Err, No, - Can’t quite remember” Gareth scratched his head. “But she had on a red jacket!” he said proudly.
“Well! There’s no-one here with a red jacket Gareth!” Lindy started running round the park now, looking behind roundabouts, behind bushes, everywhere, she was panic stricken and had no idea what she was going to do if she could not find Tracy here. Gareth was still standing in the clearing, carefully scanning every human body for signs of recognition. They eventually decided to wait for an hour. Perhaps the girl would come back to the park with Tracy. Maybe, she had gone for a cool drink or something? Who knew? Lindy made no attempt to talk to Gareth. She wasn’t sure what would come out. Gareth eventually said, that if they hadn’t found Tracy by five o clock, he would go and look for Ted and get him to phone the girl. Lindy looked at Gareth.
“Y’know, I don’t believe you! You offer to look after your daughter once! And this is your idea of how to do it? Pass her on to some bloody stranger because six hours is just to long to put your friends off for a jaunt!?”
“Lindy,” Gareth sighed. Then stopped. Entering the park was the girl with the red jacket. He stood up.
“There she is! Look”
Lindy jumped from the chair with charged excitement. Then she looked at Gareth and said, “She doesn’t have Tracy with her?” They walked across the park and met up with the girl. Gareth started straight away.
“Hi there!” he smiled. “Where’s Tracy? Sorry I’ve forgotten your name?”
“Helen. My name is Helen” her mouth was set in a grim line. “I waited here for you guys for a couple of hours and then took Tracy to my Mum. I’ve got an appointment to go to, did you think I was gonna look after your kid the whole day?”
Lindy interrupted putting an arm on the girls shoulder and said
“Where does your mother live? We’ll pick her up now!”
“Carry on down North road and turn left into Church Street. There’s a block at No. 26, and an intercom downstairs, ring the one that says Mrs Kidson”
“Mrs Kidson!” Lindy’s eyes bulged “She’s your mother? She looks after Tracy during the week all the time!”
“So she said” Helen shot over her shoulder as she started walking off and then added
“By the way, I phoned the social welfare people before I took Tracy to my mum. I think you two should grow up before you have kids!”

When Lindy and Gareth burst into Mrs Kidson’s place Tracy was fast asleep on the floor in front of the fire. Mrs Kidson was sitting in her armchair talking to another middle aged woman who was looking rather uncomfortable.
“Please sit down, both of you” Mrs Kidson demanded. “This is Diane Horris from the Department of Social Welfare. My daughter had the brains to call her when she was handed a baby to look after by a perfect stranger. Diane, this is Lindy and Gareth. Proud Mother and father of little Tracy here”
“Hang on a minute!” Gareth started. “My mate Ted said your daughter was his girlfriend?”
“Helen is gay. She doesn’t have boyfriends. Your mate Ted lives round the corner and teases Helen every time he sees her. Nice friends for Tracy to grow up around hmm?” Mrs Kidson was glaring at Gareth standing up out of her chair now. She was the same height as Gareth and Lindy could see an exchange about to happen.
“Mrs Kidson. We are so sorry” Lindy started.
“Excuse me!” Diane interrupted. “Could everyone please calm down and sit down?” One by one they all sat down and looked at Diane.
“Now, there is no need to re-hash all the reasons why Tracy has ended up here at Mrs Kidson’s house. Suffice to say, you are both very lucky that she has! I need to arrange some time to sit down with the two of you and ascertain your circumstances, circumstances which may have led to this happening in the first place. Unfortunately, it is too late to close this report and my department will be keeping tabs on the two of you as well as little Tracy here and should your circumstances appear unappropriate for a child, the Department will take her away from you. Now, do you understand what I’m telling you both?”
Lindy burst into tears and could not respond. Gareth looked first at Diane with daggers in his eyes and then at Lindy. He pulled Lindy up by the arm and told Diane that she was welcome to visit them the next morning, but if she had any intentions of taking Tracy away from them, that she had better come with an army. He scooped Tracy up from the floor and pulled Lindy out the door.

THURSDAY…….

“Are you still leaving tonight?” Lindy asked Gareth over morning coffee.
“I’ve got to haven’t I?” Gareth threw at her. Lindy’s tears welled up again.
“I just don’t feel up to all this on my own!” she sobbed.
“Lindy pull yourself together. Nothing bad is going to happen. Look, this woman is going to be here in half an hour, if she sees you crying again, she’s probably going to get even more concerned for Tracy’s sake, so for God’s sake Give Up!”
Something ticked over in Lindy’s stomach. She looked at Gareth and remembered how this was all his fault anyhow. How she had ruined her life with him. She couldn’t see that he would ever change, and she felt how anxious he was just to get going, away from her, the problems, the daily drudge.
“I don’t want you to be here Gareth. Please, go to Ted now. Go and get your ticket. I’ll come past the pub at 12h00 and let you know the outcome, OK?” Lindy stood up and looked at him.
“First you complain you can’t cope on your own, now you want to chase me away?” Gareth looked at her with a creased brow.
“Just go!” Lindy yelled.
“Alright! Alright! I’m going. Don’t do anything daft ok?!”
“No. I wont” Lindy muttered as Gareth slammed the door. She did not know how she was going to do this. She had made her mind up what she needed to do to solve everyone’s problems. She made a fresh cup of coffee, sat down and burst into tears again. Ten minutes later she picked up the phone. “Hi Mum!”
“Hello dear. You just caught me, I’m on my way out the door, whats up?”
“Nothings up” Lindy answered trying to sound bright. “Just wanted to let you know that I’ve thought about everything and I’d like to start up at the night school by next week. Would that be alright with you and Dad?”
“Of course, pet! Has Gareth agreed to look after Tracy on a night then?” Lindy’s mother sounded impressed.
“Not quite. But I don’t have a problem with that anymore”
“Oh, why’s that?”
“Don’t worry now, I’ll tell you tomorrow night” Lindy replied lightly.
“Ok dear, I’m looking forward to it!”
“Me too! Bye Mum!”

By the time Diane Horris knocked on the door, Lindy answered with red puffy eyes that told Diane an old story she had seen and heard too many times before. She invited herself in. Found the kitchen with ease, filled and boiled the kettle the whole time telling Lindy of the harsh reality and responsibility involved in raising a child.
“But!” Lindy interjected miserably. “Tracy’s really not that difficult!”
“I’m not talking about Tracy, silly! I’m talking about you!” Diane smiled. “Now, Let’s sit down and see what’s going on here”
Lindy poured her heart out. Told Diane from start to finish how her world had been turned upside down since falling pregnant with Tracy. How it took every ounce of strength she possessed just keeping things in perspective where her and Gareth were concerned, about his impending trip to Ireland and a job. Her lack of support and the circumstances leading up to yesterday’s fiasco with Tracy. By the time she had finished, she was in tears again, but she felt she had a friend in Diane.
“I’m going to tell you what choices you have here and then I’m going to tell you which one I would take if I were in your shoes. Do you mind if I do that?” Diane asked wiping away Lindy’s tears away with a tissue.
“N-No?” Lindy sobbed.
“Right. Firstly, you have to go back to school!”

Gareth pulled a stool to the bar counter in between Ted, Chris and Phil who were all in high spirits talking about the impending trip to Ireland.
“What’s up with you?” Chris asked.
“Ah, I probably just need a drink, is all. Give us a beer Sally!” Gareth shouted to the brassy blonde behind the counter of the King’s Head. Some said she’d started working there when the king himself owned the place, it was hard to tell her age under the make-up she piled on.
“Are you all packed then?” Rod asked Gareth.
“Not yet. I’ll have to go back home after about one and then I’ll meet you lot back here depending on her indoors!” Gareth sighed.
“What? Is she giving you a hard time about getting a job now? Jesus! How are you supposed to put a smile on that sour cows face?” Ted remarked.
“Hey! Just watch your mouth Ted. You and your bright ideas of looking after Tracy yesterday are the cause of her misery today, not the job!” Gareth spat.
“All girls can look after babies. There was nothing wrong with asking that Helen girl!” Ted argued.
“I’m not arguing with you Ted! Just drop it alright?” Gareth asked.
“Trouble and strife! Family life getting you down Gareth?” Chris grinned as he took a gulp of beer.
“Perhaps a few weeks away will cure that! What do you think?” asked Chris.
“I’m not sure. It will either make or break us and I’m not sure I give a shit at the moment” Gareth moaned.
“Where’s my beer Sally?!” Gareth yelled.

“But I can still get her back!?” Lindy asked.
“Yes. Yes!, Oh, don’t look at it like that please! The Sampsons are a wonderful family! They have two of their own children, a boy and a girl, Six and 3 years old. They’ve had their names down for ever such a long time, purely because they found themselves in the same situation as yourself a long time ago. They were lucky, they loved each other enough to know they would get through it and fortunately Mum and Dads on both sides were financially able to provide all the safety nets needed. It’s a perfect solution for you. Go back to school, decide on your future with or without Gareth, get yourself into an independent situation and then you will be evaluated and besides a bit of paper work, there is no problem getting Tracy back. You are handing her into the care of Foster parents. They are aware of that. Now, shall I make the phone call or not?” Dianne looked at Lindy tenderly.
“Yes. Alright!” Lindy dried her eyes and seemed to have aged considerably in the last hour. She did feel better, more equipped to deal with her own life knowing a couple of years would make all the difference and that everything could turn out better for Tracy, Gareth and herself. Wow! She felt so mature! What a big decision. So much pain and anguish involved, but with a perfect result if everything went according to plan.
“Ok! It’s all set for tomorrow morning at nine o clock. Now, get yourself together and get Tracy’s stuff together. Remember what we’ve said, when you see Gareth.” Diane’s eyes crumpled with concern at the thought.
“Don’t worry” Lindy said. “I’ve figured out that one!” she gave a weak smile. Diane could see Lindy had grown up in the last couple of hours. She could also see the decision had been made with or without Gareth.
“I’ll see you in the morning. If you need me phone me, don’t get despondent now, you’re doing the right thing ok?”
“Thank you Diane. It doesn’t feel like the right thing, but I know it is. Thanks for your help” Lindy stood up and gave Diane a hug, tried to stop herself from bursting into tears again, succeeded, barely, then opened the door to show Diane out.

Gareth looked at his watch.
“Alright lads! It’s ten to two. I’ll have one more then I’ll go and face the music and meet you back here at six”
“We have to leave for the airport at six thirty, don’t be late!” Ted said.
“I know Ted! I’ll be here! Sally!" Gareth yelled. “Another round please!”

Lindy finished packing Tracy’s case. Lovingly placing all the clothes inside that she had neatly folded. Remembering where each frilly dress had come from, the excitement at the stork party of receiving little booties and baby grows. Abruptly she snapped the case shut and slid it under her bed. She then took down her own case and packed the few decent bits of clothing she had managed to get since being pregnant, along with her jewellery, photo albums and the few things that had been dear to her in childhood. “Phew!” she sighed. This was going to be difficult. She was more or less done. When she had packed everything, she phoned the landlord and told him his furnished flat would be cleaned and available for a new tenant by Saturday morning. She phoned her brother Johnny, and asked him not to break the news to Mum and Dad yet, but that she was moving back in at home from the weekend and would he please come and pick up her bits and bobs tomorrow morning? Johnny had expressed due concern. He was a good few years older than her and wasn’t sure what she was up to but agreed, knowing he would get to the bottom of it all tomorrow morning.

She looked round the small flat and almost as if punctuating the fact that she had finished, the front door banged and Gareth lurched in. Good! She was banking on him being drunk, it would make things so much easier!
“Where’s my sweet little dragon!” He bawled.
“I’m here Gareth!” She walked out of the bedroom into the lounge where Tracy was laying kicking in her playpen.
“What time is your flight” Lindy asked smiling at Gareth, who had flopped onto the floor and was involved in some discussion with Tracy that presumably only those two understood.
“Seven thirty, but I’m off to the pub at six. We’re leaving from there at six thirty. Wanna come with me?”
Lindy thought about it. Normally she would not take Tracy to the pub, it meant carry cots, bottles, nappies etc.
“Yes!” she said. Gareth rolled onto his back and looked up at her.
“You wanna come with me!” he asked totally bewildered.
“Yes! To say Goodbye! Tracy and I will come.” Gareth jumped up suddenly motivated.
“Er-well, I’ve um, gotta pack first”
“It’s alright, I’ve done it for you. Look!” Lindy pointed to the case set up against the lounge wall.
“Oh! Well, in that case, I suppose we can get going? Jeeez, you look like you’ve had a spring clean here today! By the way, what happened with the old crow from the Welfare?” he added suddenly remembering.
“Nothing much, the usual talking to. Make sure you know where your child is at all times and all that shit, blah, blah, blah, it’s fine. Yes!” Lindy said changing the subject, “I have had a clean out, so we can go now if you like, I’m screaming for a cider!”

Despite the other guys not having any of their partners with them, and the fact that Lindy, deep down, was hoping Gareth was going to remember to raise his glass to her birthday, which he didn’t. She had a wonderful time that evening. Tracy went straight to sleep as soon as they left the flat and didn’t stir once. Lindy allowed herself three half pints of cider and felt the weight of the world slide from her shoulders. Ted commented that her hair and skin was looking really sexy. Chris kept winking at her every time he caught her eye. The whole time they were at the pub, Gareth was considerate and seemed to watch over her and Tracy with a proud, possessive eye, despite only being able to focus through the one.

Six thirty arrived, and with much excitement the boys started downing dregs and pulling on coats. Gareth asked Lindy to come with them to the airport. She replied she didn’t have the taxi fare to get back and said not to worry she would say her goodbye’s here. They stood for a moment, after Tracy was propped in her pram and Gareth had kissed her gently on the cheek.
“I’m sorry Lindy. I wish you could both come with us” he mumbled dejectedly.
“It’s alright Gareth. We’ll both be fine, just take care and don’t stuff it up! The job I mean”
Gareth nodded smiling and said “I’ll see you next weekend ok?”
“Yeah Ok” Gareth turned to leave and stopped. He looked back at Lindy.
“By the way! Do me a favour and have a terrific birthday party tomorrow!” Lindy felt a tear form and forced the lump down her throat.
“Thank you, I’m sure I will”
“Bye” He stood looking at her. Lindy felt he had more to say to her but then Ted was nagging.
“Gareth! We’ll be late. I’m not losing this ‘cos of you. Get a move on!”
“Bye” Lindy whispered and blew him a kiss through blurred eyes.

Walking home, she reassured herself she was doing the right thing. Yes. It was wrong to make a decision such as this without Gareth, but as Diane had explained, Tracy’s life came first. A relationship was secondary at this stage. Who knew, another year and things could be completely different. She did not want to think of Gareth’s reaction when he found out. She was Tracy’s mother. She had all the rights to make the decisions for all of them. The enormity of her decision still made her feel insecure and worried. The feeling in the pit of her stomach was that it was right. She was doing the right thing for everyone, she was sure of that now.

FRIDAY…..

Lindy awoke in a strange mood. She felt she had a spring in her step that had been missing for a long time, at the same time she had a feeling of dread, like watching the end of a predictable horror movie. She bathed Tracy lovingly and spoke to her apologetically, telling Tracy all her reasons for doing what she was doing, wishing she could understand. Once dressed in her best, Lindy prepared a bottle and put her in front of the fire in the lounge just as Diane Horris knocked on the door.

“Great timing!” Lindy remarked inviting Diane in.
“Good! All set then?” Diane asked, waiting for Lindy to finish with a cup of tea for her.
“Yes” Lindy smiled.
“How did last night go?” Diane asked.
“It went fine” Lindy said evasively.
“You mean Gareth understands this is the right thing to do aswell?” Diane asked with a measure of amazement in her voice.
“Well, Y’know men! One can never really be sure they know what they are talking about, but, yeah. I think he gets it”
Lindy walked into the lounge and sat down. Diane followed and noticed how Lindy did not look into her eyes as she had done yesterday during their heart to heart. She thought, “Well, at least she’s brave enough to go through with this”. Diane gave Lindy her card and explained that when Lindy wanted to visit Tracy, which should not be for a few months at first, Lindy should contact her and she would arrange it.

Lindy held back the tears as Tracy was loaded into Diane’s car and waved goodbye. She stood on the pavement for five minutes after Diane had left, not really sure what to do with herself next. Then she remembered she had a party tonight and lightly pounced indoors to prepare. Half way through the most luxurious bath she had ever taken, there was a knock at the door and she remembered her brother Johnny was coming to collect her stuff. She grabbed her dressing gown and padded wet feet through the flat and let him in.
“Alright, sis! What’s going on?” he said, kissing her lightly on the forehead.
“I tell you what” Lindy said, “If you take all this stuff through to Mum and Dad’s I promise I’ll tell all of you all about it tonight ok?”
“Ok. You seem quite happy about it, whatever it is. Where’s Tracy?”
“Oh, er, she’s at the baby sitter’s already, so I could spend all day getting dolled up! Isn’t that great?”
“Yeah! After all, it is your birthday. You deserve a day off! Go and finish your bath, I’ll load up and see you later.”
“Thanks Johnny, you are a honey!” Lindy spent a wonderful day on her own. Experimenting with make up, dreaming up fantasies of a new life and trying out her new found maturity. At six o clock the phone rang. She answered and heard Gareth’s voice, for a moment, just for a moment, she felt a pang of regret for all she’d swept away.
“Hi honey! Are you ok?” Gareth asked
“I’m fine. Getting ready for the party” she said quietly
“Thought you would be. Listen, I’ve got some bad news. They told us today in induction that contractors are not allowed off site until the job is done. Apparently they have a lot of problems with people coming from the UK doing a week’s stint and not coming back after the weekend. So unfortunately, I won’t see you for about six weeks. I’m sorry honey. I wish they’d told us that before we started, but don’t worry, I…..”
Lindy didn’t want to hear anymore.
“Gareth! Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. If I’m not here when you get back, I’ll be at my mum’s alright?” Lindy said as cheerily as she could.
“What do you mean, what’s wrong with staying in the flat?” Gareth asked.
”I don’t want to ok! It’s as simple as that! I’ve got to go now. I’ll speak to you soon, enjoy it while you can Gareth, I love you, Bye!”
Lindy slammed the phone down and unplugged it from the wall socket. She was not going to cry now!

She went back to the bedroom and checked her reflection in the mirror. Yes! She looked good! Her hair was in soft curls down her back. Her make-up had been applied modestly and she realized that she had lost most of the weight from being pregnant. The black jeans she had on hugged her waist and hips comfortably and the halter top looked, if a little revealing in the cleavage, still quite sexy on her. She threw on her full length black leather coat and black gloves and hit the road for the pub.

Lindy walked into the pub and straight away it felt like a hundred people started singing “Happy Birthday to you!” she stood. Duly surprised, and felt her eyes well up with unshed tears. When everyone finished singing, her eyes sought out her Mum and Dad. She ran to them and hugged them hard.
“Mum, I’ve so much to tell you!” she sobbed.
“Has it got anything to do with a woman by the name of Diane Horris?”
“Mum!” Lindy stood back shocked. “Did she phone you?”
“Yes luv. Don’t worry about it now, we’ll talk later. I agree with her though. Now go on! That nice lad Michael is wanting to take you for a dance!”
Lindy willingly went over to Michael, an old school friend she’s invited. As they started to dance, she smiled and thought to herself. “Yes! this was more right”. She had had enough of ‘playing’ happy family, and realized that maybe, just maybe next year, she might just be able to give it a bash instead of ‘playing’. Michael gently nuzzled her ear and said.
“You look wonderful Lindy! Really wonderful! Happy Sixteenth!”