Even In Time

"Even in Time"
(c) Lynnette Britt
October 6th, 2005

I thought that we were soulmates,
I thought we were meant to be
but now we are torn apart,
but my heart says you still love me

I can lie about my feelings
and of course I'll hide it from you
But in my heart there's no escaping
that I'm still in love with you, too

Yes we were angry a lot
but then we'd always turn and smile
and that's exactly the part I miss,
the part that made it all worthwhile

I've been addicted to guys before
but never like I was with you,
Even though I'm doing fine,
I find it impossible to say adieu

Your memory lingers in my mind
I even had a dream last night
That you were kissing me again
and my sorrow it did ignite

Because before I went to sleep,
I promised myself I was over you
And then I have this beautiful fantasy
that all I want is to pursue

But I know you don't even want
to have to communicate with me
I know you wish I'd go away
and just be part of history

I know that you're over me
and I see that you've moved on
It's all I can do to pretend the same
when I really just feel withdrawn

I thought I was in love before
And I thought I found my soulmate
But to our love and happiness
not even heaven could relate

We've shared the absolute best and worst
and every possible inbetween
And now I try my very hardest
to replace you with caffeine

I had to give up alcohol
so I took up coffee instead
As if I have to be addicted to something
without an addiction I feel dead

You have no idea how much I miss you,
I don't even think I know
Although I wish it didn't
It means so much just to hear your "hello"

The other day when you were here
I stared out the window at you
I stared and cried and mourned and pined
wishing you wanted me,too

But I guess I've finally hit bottom
fucked up so bad, there's nothing left
I just try to concentrate on Jas
so I'm not left feeling so bereft

I wonder if I'll ever get over you
Surely I will eventually
But every time I think I am
something always finds me

Just so you know I do not wish
that I could get over you
My only wish is that I could
reignite love with the man I knew

I wish things weren't so difficult
I wish things weren't so screwed
But you will find that even in time
I will always be here for you.