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My personal conversion story and religious journey into the Catholic faith |
| (revised 11/5/08) My faith journey began with my Baptism in the Lutheran Church. I was 4 years old at the time, and the youngest of four kids. The events of that day in 1965 are vivid in my memory and I also remember having this sense that this was something of great significance but I didn't fully understand the reason why. All of us kids were raised as Evangelical Lutherans attending Sunday school and Church every Sunday with our mother. My mother has always had a deep love for the Lutheran faith and vast knowledge of the written Word. I was 5 when I first met my friend Katrina. Katrina and I started out in grade school together and always somehow ended up in the same class together. Katrina came from a rather large Catholic family and I always seemed to be in awe of the fact that there were SO many kids in her family. I'm fairly certain there were about eight children in all. Katrina’s family had all of what you would call the usual religious Catholic paintings of Jesus, Mary, and crucifixes, etc. which were displayed throughout their house. There was a fairly large painting in particular that I recall. It was a painting of “The Last Supper” displayed front and center in their living room. I remember thinking, how peculiar it was that they had this very large painting of Jesus in such a prominent place. They must really love Jesus I thought to myself … Not that my family didn’t love Jesus, it was just that we, being of the Lutheran faith, just didn’t display big pictures of Jesus in our home. For the most part, Katrina and I were inseparable in those days. I was usually over at her house and most often times I would spend the night there at her house on a Friday evening. Saturday mornings would come, and we would all get up. Me, Katrina, and some of her sisters that were living at home at that time, we would all climb into a school bus which would take us to what I now know as probably being C.C.D. (Confraternity of Christian Doctrine) classes. At that time I knew it as just going to "Catechism" which back then was a very strange word to me. For a Lutheran it was completely different from attending Sunday school. In Sunday school we would have arts and crafts, cut and paste, and listen to Biblical stories etc. In the Catechism class I attended with Katrina, it was much more serious stuff. It was held in a Parish school classroom with desks and a nun! Now for me that was confusing in of itself. Who was this nun and why was she teaching these kids such unfamiliar things? Honestly I was scared to death of her, although she seemed to be kind, I just had no clue what she might do. I was always worried she would yell at me to get out of her classroom because I was not a Catholic. Thinking back now, I realize that was so ridiculous. After going to the classes with Katrina, I have to admit I secretly felt a little envious of her and her faith. I somehow felt that my own Church was lacking in something, but I didn’t know what it was exactly? I had gone to Mass with her once or twice and I recall a different sense of reverence while being in the Church. The details of the Mass are sketchy in my memory, but there was a questioning in my mind as to why my Church didn’t have kneelers like her Church had. It all proved later to have a very lasting impact on me. Through the Lutheran Church I received Communion, but never finished with my classes for Confirmation so was never Confirmed. This was during the mid 1970’s and being the rebellious teenager that I was, I just stopped attending Church altogether. Years had passed by from my teens and well into my adult life without ever attending any Church. In the early 1980’s I got married for the first time to a non practicing Catholic at the city courthouse. We had one son from that marriage, which the marriage ultimately ended in divorce a few years later. I married again in the late 1980’s to the man of my dreams. My new husband to be, though being the non practicing Methodist that he is was adamant about having the wedding ceremony in a Church, so we were married in a nearby Methodist Church. In those days I still considered myself a Lutheran, but without practicing my faith, why should it concern me really one way or another where we got married? I had no care in which Church to get married in, if even any Church at all. I always had a strong Christian faith, but could not compare my faith back then, to what it is now today. I’ve always loved the Lord, and had always invoked prayer into my daily life. I just never understood the need to go and worship in a Church. After several years of marriage, we were blessed with a baby boy, and soon after the guilt feelings of not having the boys baptized began creeping in. It was around 1992 then, and was contemplating going to Church. My dilemma then was which Church, and which faith? For me the Catholic faith seed had been planted in my heart many years prior from attending Church and Catechism with Katrina. I had wanted to know more about the Catholic faith and find out what it was really all about. I got in touch with a local Catholic Parish and was given a rather large binder packed full of RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) literature. Most of it I have to say was overwhelming and some of the terminology was foreign to me. Included with the binder was a plastic bead rosary, at which I still have to this day and cherish. I began eagerly reading the literature, and although I agreed with most of it, I still had a lot of questions so I called someone in the Parish office and we talked for a bit. It seemed that at that time, because I was married previously to a Catholic and though we were married at the city courthouse in front of a justice of the peace, I would need to have this prior marriage annulled before I could proceed with any further instruction in the faith. I was given a full list of criteria and really at that time, I was “just searching” for God. I had no idea really what I wanted to do so I just sort of let the whole thing drop. More years had passed and the Catholic Church and RCIA had always been in the back of my mind, but really I wasn’t in much of a hurry to pursue it. Then … I met this friend online. Kim, who has turned out to be one of my closest and best friends, is a cradle Catholic and she would mention various Catholic type things in email exchanges and chats. Until one day she mentioned to me something about giving up something for Lent. I asked her what is Lent, and why would you need to give up something for it? She patiently explained to me what it was all about. Then we got on the subject of having Confirmation names, and I thought how interesting this is!! I was amazed that one could pick their own Confirmation name. I suddenly had this longing again to attend Church and to read my Bible. But here we are again. WHICH CHURCH? I had a desire to attend a Catholic Church, although I didn’t really know why I felt that way? The Lutheran Church was also an option for me, but I had always felt there was something missing, but could never pin point what exactly. I had attended Catholic Weddings and Funerals and had gone to Mass with friends on occasion too. Going into a Catholic Church was not new to me, but attending Mass on my own would be. Yet I still felt compelled to go. As frightening as this idea seemed to me, I was more determined this time to really find out more. Just before Lent in 2004 I got in touch with a local Catholic Parish and had a meeting set up with a lady named Mary Ellen. Now on first meeting with Mary Ellen I was taken into a lounge type meeting room and was asked to wait a few minutes alone while she had some things to finish up before we could sit and chat. I looked around the room and here was this picture hanging on the wall of Pope John Paul II, our Holy Father at that time. I examined this picture carefully studying it and thinking … this is it! I just knew from that moment forward I was going to become a Catholic. Just by adoring this beautiful picture of our Holy Father. I did not know how, or why or what, but my mind was made up as to what I needed to do in my heart. I had seen Pope John Paul II many times on television and I had certainly seen many pictures of him many times before. Why now had it moved me in such a way? The only explanation that I can come up with is; by the grace of God I saw Jesus in Him and I just knew. I just had this overwhelming, solemn, peaceful knowledge that I was finally home. I had a long discussion with Mary Ellen that day, about what to expect and how I was feeling, and what I needed to do to get started in my new journey into the Catholic faith. She was warm and enthusiastic and took care in answering all of my questions. My greatest concern was whether or not I would need to be baptized again. I knew if that was the case, it would somehow hurt my mother, by invalidating everything she had done for me regarding faith. I was reassured that was not the case. My Lutheran faith was Trinitarian and so it was considered valid with the Catholic Church. I was also relieved and thrilled at the prospect of receiving the Sacrament of Confirmation finally! Through the Deacon of this Catholic Parish I was able to get all of my paperwork in order so I could get my 1st marriage annulled through the Catholic Church. It took several months, but during this process I had already began attending RCIA classes through the Church and was going to Mass on a regular basis. I read everything about the Catholic faith that I could get my hands on, and I was also tuned in to EWTN almost 24/7. I couldn’t get enough! I also began reading the Bible daily and praying the rosary too. Those first times of attending Mass were a bit awkward and confusing. I didn’t know what I was doing. Whether I should sit, stand, kneel or what! I did know one thing … when walking into the Church, each and every time I knew I was with Our dear Lord. I felt His presence with me, and a sense of overwhelming internal peace that I had never felt anywhere else in my life. I came into full Communion with the Catholic Church at the Easter Vigil in 2005. I have to say it was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. I received the Sacraments of Holy Communion and Confirmation. My Confirmation name is Theresa, after my Patron Saint Therese "The Little Flower". I was graced with many wonderful new friendships through the Church and Mary Ellen was instrumental in my spiritual journey through RCIA. I still think of her quite often. Although we don’t talk as much these days I will always consider her as my lifelong Spiritual Director. It also brought me closer to all of my Catholic friends. I have not been in contact with Katrina for many years now, and I often wonder what she would think of my conversion to the faith. I had not gone into the decision to convert to Catholicism lightly. It weighed heavily on my mind for many years before taking that final "leap". Unfortunately my parents were not as pleased as I had hoped they would be about my decision to convert. It happens. Several years have passed now and my parents are slowly becoming more accepting of it, I think mostly because they have seen what a wonderful change it has made in my life. Having family that is supportive is not always the case in converting to any other faith than what one was raised in. I think the parent especially takes it as a failure of some sort when we as children choose something different than what they initially chose for us. I do not think of this is as any type of failure at all on my parents part. In fact, I commend them both for starting me off with the love of Christ through the Lutheran faith. Although my beliefs have dramatically changed, the Lutheran Church will always hold a special place in my heart. For it was my parents and the Lutheran Church who showed me the way to God’s eternal Love in the first place. My husband is still a non practicing Methodist, although he and our sons do at times attend Mass with me. I pray daily for their conversions to the faith and someday maybe with God’s grace they will see Christ in the Catholic Church too. My journey continues, tuning in to EWTN as much as possible and I am still reading as much as I can find regarding the Church and all of Her Glory. My love for Christ and His Bride the Roman Catholic Church grows stronger with each and every new day. |
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