\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/zander72
Review Requests: OFF
2 Public Reviews Given
2 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Replaced  Open in new Window.
Review by zander Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Your my first review.
My overall impression was that it is a great idea for a short story.
I found the first paragraph a little tightly packed and confusing, but the second paragraph got things moving.
Personally , I would not have told the reader "She was a clone" as you should show not tell. The reader could be told this in olther ways such as: "Moiré stood by Racheal's bed and looked down at herself" or something like that.
Good character names too. Logan's run reference?
Although would a clone be given a normal name?
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/zander72