First I have to say it was the definition of this poem was a brilliant way to get readers to read your poem, second I loved the poem. I bet you get so many different responses and that has to feel just as good that your poetry evokes so much thought and speculation, proof of a job well done. To me the poem seems to talk not only of a persons heritage but of natures heritage. I may be wrong but isn't that the wonder of the written word and how it is taken lol! So thank you for a stimulating read and I thoroughly enjoyed it! Keep writing and I look forward to more from you!
Keep writing from your soul and living with your hearts!
I loved this piece as it hits so close to my own personality. I think the first thing a writer hopes is that someone, somewhere will associate with the things we write and I completely did with this poem! I think the last stanza sums it up in a nut shell and does the whole poem justice!
To know my meaning,
To understand my being,
To justify me
It was nicely written and I am not the person to ask grammatically but everything else was an accomplishment in my eyes! I thank you again for a wonderful read and look forward to more of your work!
Keep writing from your soul and living with your heart!
I thought this was a clever little poem. It has a witty punch and straight forwardness that I appreciate! I like the use of imagery of plastic gems in relation to the person to be forgotten! It is clever and memorable; a certain charm that brings a smile to the faces of anyone telling someone they are better off without the other person. Thanks for an enjoyable read and I look forward to more works from you! It was great!
Keep writing from your soul and living with your heart!
I thought this was a great short poem. It have never had the skill to be able to put so much emotion and thought into just a few lines. The perfectionist in me keeps adding on and hoping to do better and I just can never get it done to my satisfactions, but you succeeded quite nicely! I truly enjoyed it and look forward to reading more of your work. Take care and keep up the great job.
Keep writing from your soul and living with your heart!
I was intrigued but the intensity in this poem. I have suffered with depression and anxiety as I think a lot of creative people do but for some reason this poem really reached out to me! I found the lines,
And hell becomes heaven in a flutter of mind when
reality tears a hole in belief; the marble cracks the grass
over a mottled collection of bodies and ebony. The tangle
of roots smash bones and take names of those yet to die.
Can you turn to ash in beautiful demise?
There is so much truth and reality in those lines! You have a way of reaching people that are going through trying times and that is something important for writers to be able to do and few are able to touch base, and connect with them like you have with me in this instance. I thank you for a good read and look forward to reading more.
Keep writing from your soul and living with your heart!
I think it is a good read, and you have some promising talent at poetry. It feels like maybe the same words are being said to much like,
Should I tell
Should I not
I know it well
and
I love you
But who
Do you love me too
So tell him
Or tell him not
I really enjoyed reading it as I have been in that situation before and it is truly a battle ongoing in ones head; always the decision of should I or shouldn't I. I hope this helps but all I can give is my opinion and that is what I thought was happening within the wording. Thanks for a good read and I look forward to more of your work![/c}
Keep writing from your soul and living with your heart!
I have to say this was a very stimulating read. I can truly relate to the first nine lines but for different reasons.
No escape
No way to ignore
You cant turn back time
To how it was before
Try and try
But never preveil
How do you get out
Of this tragic tale
Held hostage
Although for different reasons I think that the poem as a whole is very good. The word that I put in italics is misspelled, it should read prevail. It has a good story line, I mean the idea of being held hostage in ones heart is a provoking thought. I think the flow kind of gets lost in the last four lines of the poem but all in all it is a good read! Keep writing and I look forward to reading more of your work.
Keep writing from your soul and living with your heart!
I really enjoyed this poem! It had an darling story line and wonderful flow! I read it three times cause each time I read it I found more and more I enjoyed about it! The idea of the mouse and the oak really appealed to my country sensibilities! I do believe my favorite stanza was,
The Old Oak had seen more than you and I know
Just through watching the rain and the sun and the snow
His roots kept him steady
His years kept him wise
And every morning to this oak tree
Did the little mouse rise.
The idea of the steady, sturdy Oak being around and knowing and seeing all; it's a wonderful concept and so real in it's believability! I truly loved it and can't wait to read more! Thanks again for an enchanting poem!
Keep writing from your soul and living with your heart!
As a kid I took many a trip such as this with my parents lol! I have to say I love the wording in this poem! It brought back so many wonderful memories of such amazing trips like those! I am certain there are many, many, strands of gray hair on my parents heads due to those trips and many in my own from the same kinds of trips with my kids! It is a lovely poem and such a fun read! Thanks and keep up the wonderful work!
Keep writing from your soul and living with your heart![/i}
I have to say that the more I read this poem the more I came to like it! It has a passion and sorrow that Shakespeare would admire! I am not one to critique on grammar or sentence structure but I do know a nice flow when I read one and this has all that and more! I particularly like the stanza,..
T'was in the clearing we did stand,
and there you took me by the hand.
Ne'er to part,did you say,
yet fate,had still his hand to play.
A serpent struck,my body to maim,
but his cruel tongue,did you tame.
To save me though,it cost you dear,
pierced you were,and it was clear,
that your final moments,were numbered here.
There is so much power and emotion in that one stanza that I have to claim that as my favorite! This poem has a good start, great middle to keep the reader wanting more and a strong finish to make sure they return for another bout of poetry! Thanks for a fantastic read and I look forward to reading more!
Keep writing from your soul and living with your heart!
I love this one as well! I have two daughters, the oldest will be fifteen next month and the youngest will be six in February, and they both loved this poem! It is written so beautifully written that women and girls of all ages will like this! I mean not only my two girls loved this but lets not forget I loved it enough to read it to them! Our favorite lines are,
She dances with her prince
Although he's just a teddy
Those two lines are so powerful to any girls of all ages! Thank you for such a wonderful read! You show great talent at poetry and I can't wait to read more of your work!
Keep writing from your soul and living with your heart!
This poem is short strong and powerfully written! I am blown away by the amazing honesty and sincere truth behind these words! It hits home on so many fronts! I have lots of military in my family but even the people who don't can appreciate in these times, how important a poem like this is! I can't stress enough how wonderfully written I think this short poem is! Maybe it is because of all the sadness and drama in news these days but each line of this poem is so perfectly written that it gives a paragraph of meaning in just a few words! That is what every writer hopes to achieve! Thanks for such a moving piece and I can't wait to read more of your work!
Keep writing from your soul and living with your heart!
Ok all I can say is WoW! Well that was what I wanted to start with! The first thing I look for in poetry is a poem that can transport me to an image of what it is trying to provoke or to another time and place in my past that it reminds me of. I expect it to be vivid and imaginative, bringing the last line in a perfect close and you captured that all perfectly! It brought me to so many important moments in my own life and really brought home how much I want to remember from my life and how much I want to be remembered when I am gone! I think the last two lines really sum it all up so wonderfully!
Always remember
The echos remember me
With each piece I read of yours, I am blown away with your talent at thought inducing and heart warming quality! Thank you for such a wonderful read and as always, I look forward to more of your stimulating work!
Keep writing from your soul and living with your heart!
I really enjoyed this poem. It had everything a person could want from reading poetry,.. it had a wonderful rhythm and rhyme to it. I found it thought provoking and imaginative and darn it I just loved reading it! ;~} I especially liked the second stanza!
She will come next to share the space.
Building the cup shaped nest is her place.
That stanza just brought me right into the poem in a wonderful way and I just didn't want to leave that beautiful scene! Thanks for a great read and I look forward to more!
Keep writing from your soul and living with your heart!
I think you have serious potential to write very moving poetry! I can truly feel the emotion and power you are portraying in this poem and was able to follow what I think was the main idea behind it! I think you open strongly with the first stanza,
When I wake in the night
None is bright
Holding on to death's embrace
Pleading not to take this plight
I am sorry that I cannot help you editorially but I do have a good eye for flow and rhythm which I felt this poem had! I look forward to reading more of your work as you post more! Thanks again for a good read!
Keep writing with your soul and living with your heart!
I intensely liked this thought provoking poem about the insights to people thoughts on one another. I truly liked the angle with which you chose to take and and thought that the first stanza was a really great opening.
I’m writing on plain paper. I’m scared the words will fall.
But even if they don’t come back I’ll love them after all.
I created what was there, I’ll love them anyway
Even when they hate me and I won’t know what to say.
I really think you have talent in the poetry department and can't wait to read more of your work! Keep up the great writing and I look forward to reading more. Thanks again.
Keep writing from your soul and living with your heart!
I really liked this poem! It was intriguing and stimulating in the way that only a well written poem can be! I especially liked the second stanza.
You don’t let them stop your heart or lungs,
You couldn’t sell your thoughts,
We both know that we’re conventional,
We both know what we’re about.
Like a pair of shoes; new or old
One foot follows another.
I bet those fears this time next year,
I’ll be gone cause I’m not here.
I must say I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed this read and look forward to much more of your work! Thanks again for a great read!
Keep writing with your soul and living with your heart!
This was a very interesting and thrilling poem. I had fun reading it because with each new stanza I had something more interesting to read. It kept me interested all the way through and I highly enjoyed it. I think the stanza that I enjoyed the most was the fifth one,..
He lusted to taste the fiery drink of power,
And so, marked down the army for slaughter.
I love the vivid wording. It pains such a perfect picture and really sums up a lot of the emotion in the poem. Thank you for a wonderful read and I look forward to reading more of your work!
Keep writing with your soul and living with your heart!
I love how the poem evolves from beginning to end,.. the comeback around is fun. Not all writers can make it work but I loved the way you did this. You have a real knack for poetry and I can't wait to read more of you work! Thanks for the great read!
Keep writing from your soul and living with your heart!
I adore this poem! It was beautifully written with so much imagination and perfect imagery that I felt I was there cheering from a bedroom doorway! I was immediate captured from the first stanza;
When just a child my Nana's was my favorite place to go.
We would all end up so dirty, from our heads down to our toes.
I bout rolled off my seat when I got to the eighth stanza;
As soon as Grandpa snorted it was like the Indy flag,
We raced across the room to grab our trusty hockey bag.
Then the final stanza was my undoing! LoL I mean seriously I was grinning from ear to ear and thought you couldn't have come up with a more perfect finishing stanza!!
We truly love our Nana and we loved to visit there.
But nothing is as fun as playing hockey with that bear.
In closing I have to say I simply loved this poem! It reminds the reader of everything great about grandparents and childhood! I just can't wait to read more of your wonderful work! Thank you so much for a fun and entertaining read!
Keep writing from your soul and living with your heart!
I truly liked the imagery in this poem. It was fun and yet so gentle,.. kind of like the breeze it talks about in the third stanza. Thanks for a fun read and I have to say a really nice way to look at a childhood memory, at least it is for me. I used to sit in my grandma's back yard and watch this very act so it struck a personal cord with me! Thank you for helping me remember such a fun time in my youth! Thanks again and I look forward to reading more of your work!
This was amazing! I was so blown away because of the description and title I guess I just wasn't prepared for what was to come,. and yet it was such a pleasant and touching surprise! I have to say this is my new favorite poem right now! Thanks again I just wish I had more gp to give you cause I think you deserve so many more! I can't wait to read more! Keep up the fantastic writing
I am very stingy about giving out perfect scores but I really loved this. It probably sounds crazy but when I was reading this a tune jumped out at me. Not only is this a fantastic poem but I believe it would make a stunning song as well. The second stanza
I'll light a candle,wait until tomorrow
I'll slumber softly,for tonight no sorrow
I won't dream about your love anymore
You vanished from view,yet your face I still adore.{/c:}
Is such a powerful example of what it is like to loose someone you love. I especially love how you were able to express how hard the nights can be when your mind is engulfed with images of the one you've lost. I can't wait to read more of your work and will be posting my reviews. Thanks for the great read and keep up the fantastic work!
Keep the faith and live the dream!
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