I believe you could add a bit more to the poem, because it seems a bit short. I love your guys' relationship; I must admit, I'm jealous. Also, I think if you tried to even out the rhyme scheme, that would help enhance the quality. But I think it's great, otherwise.
First of all, great imagery. I felt like I could see everything playing in my head, from the two people kissing, to the two people standing on the beach. It was a sad poem, and those are the ones I like because they have the most emotion.
One thing I saw that needs editing, it's very small, but it's in the 6th stanza, third line; you have "man" instead of "many", but that's just a minor typo!
The only critique I have of this piece is that I'm a fan of rhyming poems, and this one doesn't rhyme at all. Though this story had a clear purpose, and it is great, I'm just more of a rhym-y poem person. This is totally just a personal opinion, a rather annoying one since I KNOW not all poem's are going to rhyme, and I believe you did a GREAT JOB with this piece!
This is a rather catchy poem, and very clever. It's true that paper is never really blank, since it will eventually be filled with wonderful things. The word choices were great and I loved the flow of this entire poem.
This is just me, and you should not change this because of me, but I love it when each line in a poem has the same amount of syllables, or at least close to the same. But, like I said, that is just me and you should not change it because this poem is great as it is!
I love the words used in this poem, and I love that this is the kind of poem that rhymes, as not all poems do. The flow of the poem is great, and I feel that I was able to visualize what you were saying. You did a great job portraying emotions. This is a great piece! Keep writing and have fun with it.
I loved the words used, and the feeling was definitely eerie. The whole time I had a clear picture of a graveyard, the tombstones, gravediggers, and so much more. You did a great job! Write on!
I really liked this poem. It's so sweet, and really well written. My favorite type of poem's are the one that rhyme every other line or so. I felt happy and special when reading this, so you did a great job! Keep up the great work!
I liked this poem very much and it really is very relatable. I think you did a great job with putting emotions into the poem because I actually felt sort of sad while reading the beginning, but then I felt better as I neared the end because the poem got happier. Haha! Anyways, great job and keep up the great work!
I definitely had fun doing this one! I liked a lot of the things that were on the word search, such as Michelle Gellar and Harry Potter. I'm going through a little Buffy the Vampire Slayer obsession right now, so I can't stop watching all the episodes. I'm on season 6 right now, and still going. Anyways, great job. Loved the things that I had to find!
I definitely like this one and you should add more to this, since you said it's still in progress. Again, like I've said a lot now, you write about true stuff, but you're able to add a lot of feeling into your writing. Just add more to this one and I think it'll be perfect! Once again, great job!
I'm not a poet, whatsoever. But I do have a specific preference when it comes to actually reading poetry; I like every other line or so to rhyme and have the perfect amount of syllables so that each line match and the flow is good. And all three of the poems I've read of yours so far have that perfect flow of rhyming and syllables. Great job!
I love the word choiced and the vivids you used. I can definitely picture all of this in my head as I read it. In a way it's very sad, but the truth is that it's all true. What you wrote about in your poem happens all the time, unfortunately. All around great job and, again, keep up the great work!
Very heartfelt and sadly true. There's always hype surrounding you when you or someone you know is about to have a child, then once the baby is born, everything is put into that child. I'm a few years away from becoming an adult and my parents don't want me to leave. I'm gonna miss them when I do, and I know they'll feel the same way. I love that this poem is about true life stuff. Great job and keep up the great work!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/writeforfun
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 4:08am on Dec 31, 2024 via server WEBX1.
| (4.0)
| (4.5)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
