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91 Public Reviews Given
91 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I praise God that I was brought to this page tonight, in hopes that perhaps in the near future, I will be brought his mercy so that I may stop suffering.
Thank you. William
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2
Review of She Is  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I can see from this piece that your ability to sincerely express genuine thoughts, experiences, and state of mind is evident. It is formally done in a very diligent manner here. The presentation of this piece is right on the money, and the structure respectfully supports the flow. +3.0

Punctuation, spelling, and grammar all seem to be in order here as well.+1.0

My lack of ability to make total sense of this piece in regards to who the target was for me, as the reader.. is a turn-off to me. That, is because on one hand I feel that this is directly formatted and lined in protecting the life experiences and interests of one gender, and potentially over the other.. in a biased manner. It's not even so much as to what "He" may have done or does.. but more so what He feels. I see it left out here. -1.0

Thank you for sharing this piece of writing with us. It is very evident to me that you have a talent and special ability to write great things.
I'd be happy to read more of your work.

Best wishes,

William
3
3
Review of life  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
An expression of hope,
eliminating enthusiasm of faith.

To push these words onto us,
a retraction of morals.

Heightening your fears,
finding zero comfort.

The world ends faster,
your mind closes.

To shut down before us,
is to fail us all.

Allow the world,
one opportunity.

To change your heart,
to show its reverse side.

Upside-down,
confiscated illusions.

Crushing from the inside,
we've not yet touched your outside.

No one says to open it,
but halt self depletion.

No one can touch you,
a firm protection of mental strength.

Demonstrate to us,
what we will never have.

Spelling +1.0
Format +1.0
Grammar +1.0
Expression +1.0
Genuine flow +.5

Thank you for sharing, I look forward to reading more of your writing.

Best,

William
4
4
Review of A Flood of Color  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
*****RE-REVIEW*****

I can see that you genuinely have a lot to say. +0.0
The flow here overall is matched on a satisfactory level, in my opinion. +.5

Your expressive ways of writing, and the fact that you are willing to share your insides out, and your feelings throughout.. is priceless in itself. +2

I think you should write slower, consider reading aloud before finalizing a piece, and lastly perhaps re-writing a piece 2-3 times if necessary. Sometimes, you'd be surprised of the outcome of doing so.


Suggestions to consider:
"How could anyone believe" = poor drag, consider reformatting to pick up the pace and speed to at minimal a semi-efficient speed
"More exciting then the start." into > "More exciting than the start." *than*

Why can't they see that this two-tone heart,= do you want to really say two-tone, or two-toned ? *two toned*, or *two-toned*
Surely has a key? < I don't think you're confident in this statement.. please show us that you either do, or don't support your faith, your thoughts, your beliefs.. your heart. Writing is based off of this. Without confidence and ensuring that you can stand behind your statements and claims.. what are you really writing, or are you asking?...


You would have to cut me in half to = The word "to" here appears to drag the speed back to a poor pace, and an unsatisfactory level.

You have a lot of potential, and the reality is.. thousands of people may read this, and feel so many various, unique, and complex different ways. These, of course, are merely my opinions, personal opinions that is.

I wish you the best, and look forward to more, new contributions from you in the future.

Best,

-William
5
5
Review of Begin ....end  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Looking at this piece, I can see you have a lot of expression, spunk, creativity, and heart.
Your writing seems genuine to me, and for that, I give you credit, respect, and my time as a reader, to try and understand.

Your structure wasn't hard on the eyes, and the grammar used was almost all in place. The flow however was terribly, in my opinion, effected by your spelling errors (see suggestions below).

I can clearly tell from this imaginative piece of writing that you have a genuine ability to provide strong imageries to readers.

Suggestions and changes to consider:

"When the stars no longer the guide" into> "When the stars are no longer the guide" *are*
*When the stars no longer the guide* into> "When the stars are no longer your/the guide* *are,* *the* or *your* combination
"When you feelings difficult to hide" into> "When your feelings are difficult to hide" *your* +*are*
"No mater ho you have tried" into> "No matter how hard you have tried" *maTTer*, *how*, *hard*
"And the sea of change glides thru the evening tide" *thru* into> *through*
"Whispering sad song thu the wintry breeze...." *thru* into> *through*

I look forward to reading your next piece, but please keep in mind my suggestions.

Best,

William
6
6
Review of A Flood of Color  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
I see genuine expression here, with a tough of sarcasm, in my opinion, supported by a solid flow of trials, times, and harder than easy feelings. +1.0

Why you have so many contractions here to me I imagine, format wise, makes sense.. and grammatically read and supported in the ways in which it is written. i.e. "don't" "you'd" +1.0
I however am not impressed with your excessive use of them, because judging from your writing, you have a very creative mind, with much potential to write with passion. -1.0

I see no typos, or further formatting issues besides this, and can definitely honestly say that the structure does not so much bother me, but I feel it could be easier to read. +.5

Please consider restructuring or changing this part, as I feel it takes away from the efficient speed and flow from your piece of writing:
"The real me isn't what you
You observe, you'd have to"

In example, read it aloud-- I found this useful, more often than not.

You have a talent, but if you wish for us to understand that you actually know the real you, I definitely feel more expression, and genuine perspective from your end, and eyes open pathways are more necessary in this piece, or your next.

Thank you very much for sharing this piece of writing, and I definitely do look forward to reading more from you.

Best,

-William
7
7
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (2.0)
This piece is very interesting, and with fair frequency and semi-impressive systematic common catches a partial piece of my emotional potential as a reader. +1.0

The flow is amusing, but not something in particular that I would or was seeking when initially looking at this piece, per the title. -1.5

I don't see many typos, but did place a suggestion that I thought in which a letter/word was missing. +.5

Your genuine emotion, or what I see as real expression on your part, whether a reflection of self or something/someone else is definitely evident to me here. +.5

Suggestions to consider:
"a lonely student grips drying cup" into > "a lonely student grips a drying cup" *a*

I would also take into consideration avoiding contractions in formal, or "poetic" writing such as this.
"Yes, but they don't know what is in my heart," into > "Yes, but they do not know what is in my heart," (I know it doesn't look the most impressive by transitioning it into this either, so perhaps consider a reformatting?)

"heart," > punctuation inside quotation marks is risky, and not too good for the eyes, and in my opinion, is distracting valuable attention to a piece in which I feel was wrote right from the mind.

You have potential, and you come off to me as a writer who is genuine. To me, this in itself, is priceless. It's an opportunity for you to offer something great to the world, may it be through this site, on paper, or in person. To share more, is to get more, in my opinion-- both mentally, and metaphysically.

I look forward to reading more of your writing, thank you for sharing.

Best,

William
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8
Review of Because of you  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This piece of writing is a very reflective example of your ability to express genuine thoughts, feelings, emotions and expression. Heart-wrench is evident, and felt here. It's all too real, and I am confident many people will have the almost instantaneous reaction and influence from your writing to drop back down to reality. Separating our minds from our shields, our protective force, our skin, our thickness of love, love failed, our cold hearts, our half hearts, our broken hearts, and our iced hearts. +3

I call misleading, manipulative, deceit on this one: "Someone new is here to stay, someone kinder, gentler too. "
Just my opinion, and input. This is a great piece of writing really, because little do I feel that I can interact with the poems I read. +1.5

"Barely empty is this house but soon it will be as quite as a mouse." > Perhaps consider a reconstruction of this sentence to reduce the length, and increase the efficient flow, not even so much necessarily the speed. -.5

You have a lot of talent, an ability to express, to catch the mind, to catch the eyes, and maintain them through your piece.

I thank you for sharing this with us, and look forward to reading more of your writing.

Best,

William
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9
Review of Waterfall Sense  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This piece of writing is very well written and does not appear to have any typos, or grammatical errors. +2

You have created a really, in my opinion, perfectly measured flow for the reader. This is really easy on the eyes, which is great, because this expands the age-groups of people in which may read and absorb this piece of writing of yours to the fullest. +2 (When I say age group, I am not so much implying that this is the writing for that of an adolescent to read, but more so a well rounded, and mindful young adult with an exploration to touch emotional reality and expressions to that of a genuine novel experience.)

I was oh so very close to I believe giving my first 5.0 rating on this website, but I just couldn't let it go, for two reasons.

1. Because your clear skill, and ability to compile words together to such a perfect, melodic beat to me is evident. Whether or not its your experience or creativity bursting through, I do know now after reading this that I expect more than this last piece.

"what’s served on waterfall’s menu
is good enough to eat." I don't think it flows so well together, unfortunately, and I would make a personal suggestion to restructure this, if you feel fit. If any, the words are great, but it just comes off as too long, but again, this is merely my opinion and suggestion only.

2. I am fearful that if perhaps I gave you a 5.0, then I wouldn't get to see you strive as hard, and share more of your beautiful writing skills with us all here at Writing.com!

Thank you very much for sharing, and I do look forward to reading more of your writing.

Best,

-William
10
10
Review of LightWorker  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | N/A (Unratable.)
This piece is written with clarity, and genuine attention to the work of "light worker's" and their expression of divine interest and contributions to the world. +1

Your spelling, spacing, and grammar are seemingly overall well written, with minimal error. +1

I think that the imagination here is evident, the flow comes together well, and that it has a nice, relaxed pace to it.
All in all, I think more than anything this will touch those more who believe in something greater.. something greater in themselves. In many ways, I find this piece of writing to be about "re-inspiring" motivation to those throughout the world who may be hesitant, or quitting on their efforts to positively contribute to society, though this is of course just my personal opinion and interpretation of your piece of writing. Instant gratification in life is not really realistic, and I think that this reminds us not only of this, but also not to give in hopes of receiving. +2

Suggestions to consider:

"Your tired and weary, your not at your best," into > "Your tired and weary, you're not at your best," *you're* -.5
"Most of you sometimes just wish you could rest," > this is the only part of your piece I feel like you weren't as creative and expressive with. Since this isn't the first time I've read your work, I have a semi-solid idea of what you are in fact capable of.
(-.5)

For the record, I was initially undeceive as to whether or not give this a 3.5, or a 4.0. Since I could justify the 4.0 in the end, it's what I rated this as.

Thank you very much for sharing this piece of writing. It is very clear to me that after reading this, at least in my opinion, you have significant experience with writing poetry to say the least.

I look forward to reading more of your work.

Best wishes,

-William
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11
Review of One Last Touch  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This piece of writing shows a clear ability to express ones thoughts and emotions both effectively and literately. Your punctuation, grammar, and spacing techniques all appear flawless to me. +2

I think that the imagination however is not so impressive, and that you may have been able to dig deeper, but as a reader, this isn't necessarily my place to call that, as opposed to it just being a wish or opinion of my own. -0

Other than that, considering my biggest complaint would be your text color, or the fact that you capitalize every word in itself should be a sure shot reflection to you that your writing is pretty impeccable. The emotion is priceless. +2

However, I will point out, taking into consideration this is one of your first contributions I've read, I have to still scale this on the theoretical impression of a potential presence of you possessing a much stronger ability to express with more literacy, expression to those of mutual or similar experience, and an aptitude to create stronger visual/mental paintings for us, the readers, or as you may like to see us, fellow "sympathizers". -1

Thank you very much for sharing this piece of writing with us. It is very evident to me that you have a gift.

I look forward to reading more of your work.

Best,

William
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12
Review of Grief  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I can see that this piece of writing is as genuine as it gets...
It's well written, and comes together.

It has a nice flow, considering the circumstances.
Though, I doubt that was really important to you.

This is a very, very deep, yet recognizably sensitive contribution, and it's appreciated so very much.
The fact that you were able to make this piece of writing rhyme for us, just makes it that much more special.

There were a typo or two, and if you're interested in possibly correcting them, here they are, but it's of course up to you:

"I float trough the cool night air," into > "I float through the cool night air" *through*
"My heartache is becoming to much to bear." into> "My heartache is becoming too much to bear" *too*

As much as I respect you, and this contribution.. I think you should consider adjusting the rating from "E" to at least "ASR", or perhaps even "18+", considering the content here. -1.0

Thank you for your contribution, it's appreciated.
There isn't much of anything else for me to write here, since I don't want to reflect with you publicly about this topic, or turn this review into an attraction of the eye, over your actual piece of writing.

I wish you the best of luck, and if and when the time comes.. perhaps you will consider contributing/writing more for the world to see, and relate to. You know, it's how many people come out of their pain, and find at least some type of happiness before it gets the best of them..

Best,

William
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13
Review of stolen Moments  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is a very well-written, expressive, emotional, and literate piece of writing that I can see came with a very natural flow. +2.5
The imageries here are solid, but not so solid that they would ever become a blockade in any shape or form that would prevent the reader from getting the fullest out of this piece. +.5

The literacy as mentioned above is in tact, punctuation all seems together, and I don't see any formatting issues or unusual methods that would appear to be incorrect, or take away from your writing. +.5 for neutral foundation

Suggestions to consider:

"Sweet treasured moment spoken of in rhyme." > into "Sweet treasured moment spoken in rhyme" to eliminate the word "in" which doesn't really appear necessary. Doing this will enable the reader to recognize it's speed, flow through it at a balanced pace, and not get distracted one bit-- especially considering the rest of your writing in this piece doesn't have this present as far as I can see.

I can both observe and appreciate that you can rhyme, and that you've demonstrated that in this piece, but I think it would definitely, in my opinion, be more impressive to see another piece from you, or to had made this one longer. I am not downplaying yours, or anyone else's ability to rhyme. What I do or don't do has no influence on this comment. The thing is, I feel like with the way you can flow so well with your genuine words and emotions with writing, that you don't even have to worry about making the extra effort of rhyming, or correlating words with similar sounding endings. But again, this is just my opinion.

Thank you very much for sharing,

I look forward to reading more of your writing.

Best,

William
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Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.5)
Your poem shows a strong sign of genuine expression. I can see that it came from the heart, and for this, recognition should be given.
The spelling here is all in tact, and the grammar appears to be in order. +2

I was a bit thrown off by the comma's at the end of each line of expression, but if that's your style, then so be it.

A few suggestions to consider:

I never said bye to him when I walked out of that door. into > "I never said bye to him when I walked out the door"
Through this, you will enable your poem to show more speed, yet efficiency, by removing two perhaps less than necessary words.

"I just wanna say that i'm sorry," consider capitalizing "i'm" to "I'm" to represent proper punctuation through this, and future pieces. -.5
Your slang here was not offensive or too overbearing, but I don't understand the "------" ? > "For dissin' you on facebook --------" -.5

Lastly, this part: "Just like brother and sister,
Not like miss and mister."

It was very brave of you (see above) to try and pull this off, but I still see it as very, very touchy and controversial to make such a comparison like this when referencing what I have interpreted here as your (ex)-lover to a brother and a sister. Perhaps you feel confident about it, and if that is the case, then I support your confidence. Just remember, things of this caliber can easily be misinterpreted, or be seen as a sort of turn-off, so if you're going to do it make sure you do it right.

Someone who writes about nothing will never write very long. So for this, I can happily say I look forward to reading more of your work, and encourage you to contact me, or grab my attention should you like more reviews from me for your new work.

Best wishes,

William
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Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (1.5)
It's very clear that you have an ability to express your genuine emotions through well thought imageries.

Why don't you make these longer, for all of us to enjoy the details and foundations of these thoughts and expressions ? Only if you want to share of course..

I think you'd be surprised at the outcome..

My suggestion,
to you.

Is to separate,
the expressions.

Pinpoint accuracy,
some guarantee from you to me.

Also, consider removing the "," at the end of it here > "His eyes wide open,"

Thank you for sharing your writing, I genuinely hope you make more, and allow me, and the rest of the world to enjoy them.

Best,

William
16
16
Review of Expectations  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Your writing comes together well, and overall grammatically and spelling wise flawless.

I don't think that this part fit's however: "I look and expect this, everywhere." > Perhaps it's because of the "," before the word "everywhere", I'm not sure. But it's just something worth considering.

An ability to begin providing quality imagery here is evident, but I wish this piece was longer.

Thank you for sharing, and I look forward to reading more of your writing.

Best,

William
17
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Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | N/A (Unratable.)
Your piece of poetry shows a solid ability to effectively rhyme words, provide from what I interpret as "happy" oriented imageries, and flows with a cool sense of opportunity for the reader to enjoy without having to skip, bump, or fall victim to any typos or grammatical errors.

I enjoyed this piece, though, at times felt like the strength of the poem was unbalanced, and rotated around multiple foundations-- which for me, at least, was a bit confusing and kind of threw me off at times. I am not necessarily counting these so much as infractions, as I ma suggesting to perhaps consider some minor reconstructing.

A few suggestions:

On the winds of time. < I don't think this really belongs, or goes in appreciable flow or coordination with the line before it.

Is what the circle's all about.< nice flow in this set, but why did you make this last line so long ?

"Priestess will thou dance with me ?"
I took his hand, < I really feel like this "shot" of rhyme and rhythm also is just too long, especially because you've already proven to have a solid ability to provide quality imageries with zero flaws of grammar, typos, or lack of genuity within your writing and expression.

With your Lord and Thee. < re-emphasis on religious aspect of piece of writing, in which I really feel is too much. Regardless of if I am religious or not, this is something that I, personally, try to avoid when writing. I feel that this, for me, in turn provides a neutral environment in which any reader can inoffensively enjoy my writing, not be tacked or connected by religious models, and still enjoy and absorb every single word.

All in all, I was able to enjoy this piece of writing and I feel like I am able to take a little bit with me.

The reality is, there are billions of very unique, individually special both readers and writers all throughout this world. These "correction" suggestions of course only being my opinion.

I have taken the time to provide such an in-depth review because I get a sense of pure genuity in your writing. In addition to this, it pleases me, and makes me feel a sense of happiness too-- since I am able to sense them in your writing.

Opinions given,
factual self interpretations generated.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Thank you very much for sharing your piece of writing, I look forward to reading more.

Best wishes,

William
18
18
Review of Things i need  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (1.5)
This piece is very short, yet offers some insight.
I don't like the format of it, as I don't think it compliments the words presented.

Suggestions:

Things i need < I suggest to capitalize the "i".

included in all of this is the keyword run < I don't feel like this shows much attempt at originality, or food for thoughts.

you are the one I cant yet hear < This type of expression is ideal in writing, keep at it !

Thank you for sharing

-William
19
19
Review of Question Mark?  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (2.0)
This is an overall well written piece grammatically and format wise.
In the beginning of the piece, I really felt like I was inside of your head, and that maybe I could understand...
But then, I feel like the piece lost it's genuine expression at "
Don’t want to read but I have to look."

Where the end end’s and the start begins. > Unfortunately, I don't think this is very original at all.. I also think it's written with very little expression.

Thank you for sharing your piece.

-William
20
20
Review of new comer  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
"Foreign Aid" +1.5

I only gave you such a high rating for this piece of writing because I believe it says more than the average eye will see, and talk louder than any military power.

Very nice piece

Please share more

-William
21
21
Review of NOT ABOUT YOU  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a very real piece. Not a lot to say about it, since the feelings it describes are only common to common beholders. Maybe they can't read yet, or wish they could.

Suggestions: I'd capitalize the title.
Also, I don't understand how this line makes sense, please explain: "You as much care about" (1 end)

Thank you very much for sharing

I look forward to seeing more of your writing.

-William
22
22
Review of Problems  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was a very good read.

Insightful, correct flow, wordy, forthright expressions, and zero falseness.

Please write more

Thank you for sharing

-William
23
23
Review of The Wind  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
This piece of writing is very well written and flows nicely together, including the rhyming.

It shows imagination, and to me shows a strong ability to concentrate and a strong sense of patience within the writer.

Thank you for sharing your writing,
I look forward to reading more.

-William
24
24
Review of I recycle  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
I think that this piece of writing is catchy, humorous, and amusing. It doesn't possess any plot as far as I can see though, or seem to hold any true emotion of expression or contemplation.

The rhyming was for the most part put together well, and flowed amusingly.
Though not completely original, and not seeming to hold any personal thoughts:
"Know pleasure won't come without pain"

Thank you for sharing your writing

-William
25
25
Review of Knock Knock...  Open in new Window.
Review by W.C Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Eye-opening, proud, perfectly formed, agonizingly honest, and should be an easily appreciated reading. Those who are less realistic, maybe not so much.

Suggestion: There was (1) typo in there, but I can't find it. This will be your choice.

Thank you for sharing

-William
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