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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/wilgree
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2 Public Reviews Given
2 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Spared  Open in new Window.
Review by wilgree Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Very good, I enjoyed the tight dialogue and the emotional depth the characters showed. The story is well written, I can only suggest more of a lead in to the memories, it seemed kinda sudden. Just a thought, also a sentence that could be improved imho, I'll quote it and then show what could be fixed: "Her story was nothing like what I would have expected. If I could have gone back and chosen not to hear it, I think I would have liked not to."
This seems like a double negative, first chosen not to hear it, then liked not to, maybe you could just leave it at "have liked to"?
Again very well done!
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Review of Red Alert!  Open in new Window.
Review by wilgree Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This story was well done in a very sarcastic universe. Star trek as a human oriented world, Star Trek The Undiscovered Country anyone? Shakespeare in the Original Klingon.. Any way the ironicly jingoistic starfleet contrasts with the intentionally idiotic aliens. Good work, keep it up, maybe some more with some real fighting? Boarding party actions anyone?
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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/wilgree