If this is a first attempt at exsizeing (getting rid) of your pain--- well i am astounded! There are a few technical mistakes whicj I dont really want to go into as I KNOW how difficult to express such things are.(read "This" in MY portfolio)I too turned to poetry as a forn of healing.However, if you are thinking of someday publishing as I am you'll want to use spellcheck as often as possible. As to the structure you have chosen what is called a "quatrain" (consists of 4 lines to each stanza) (paragraph) so you will need to add two more or take these two out entirely) lines to the third "stanza" Personally I would take them out as they just overburden the "flow" to your poem. and THAT is excellent up to that point! rythum is just a BIT off and nothing to worry about you'll get it in time. You have a "natural" talent for this and I truly hope you continue with it! Check out a few of mine and you will see that we are indeed kindred spirits here! WRITE ON!
Well all in all it's good advice, but as an article you need to pare it down some. Try not to be redundant(as in repeating sentances too often).And a good practie(I know I know I do it too)Try to watch the capitals. where and when they are nessasary. But as I said this contains good advice.
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