This is excellently written! I honestly love this, it is extremely well done and beautiful to read! I love your vocabulary and I also love your choice in line length, you can tell this poem was well thought through. I really enjoyed reading this and hope you continue writing! Great job!
Hi! Your poem is really good and I really enjoyed reading it! You can really feel the emotion in each line and I really like the theme of your poem! The last line is kind of confusing, do you mean "I am in love." or do you really just mean "am love."? I don't know, it's your poem. I really like this poem, and thank you so much for sharing! Keep writing!
Hi! I really like this poem and I think it's very well written! You have a nice word selection, and an obvious talent in piecing words together. I think the rhyme scheme is a tad confusing, and I also am a little confused on the third to last line, but over all this poem is really good, and I really enjoyed reading it! Thank you so much for sharing!
This is really interesting, and I have no idea if it's personal or not, but I still really enjoyed reading this! I like your vocabulary, and you did a very good job exercising that in this letter. I really enjoyed reading this, and I hope you continue writing!
This has a lot of potential! I really like your writing style, but I do think that there is room to improve. Maybe you should include some more paragraph breaks, like at every point you introduce something new. Also, your dialogue is a little messed up at the end, otherwise, good job! Keep writing!
I actually really do like this! This is written really well and I enjoyed reading it, the last line is amazing! It's so simple yet so powerful. You write a lot like I do sometimes, especially your line "The poisonous stings of the ants, numbing her senses." Overall, awesome work!
I love this poem! It's very emotional and powerful and the message is very vivid, your sentence about x-ray vision was awesome, and probably my favorite part of the poem. You are a very good writer and I hope you continue in the future! Thank you so much for sharing!
This chapter is awesome! You are very talented and I had a lot of fun reading this! In your please review post you said you where conflicted on how to continue the story, well I think you should make things interesting! Maybe when she trying to look for phone signal the next day, escaping her uncles careful eye, she could "accidentally" stumble across the old whit house and catch a too-close-for-comfort glimpse at the odd figure she had seen previously! But it's your story, and a really good one at that! Please write the next chapter soon!
I like this idea! The thought that two people fall in love in a different universe, could they also fall in love in a different one, under different circumstances? I really like this actually! The beginning is sort of confusing, but as you read it sorts itself out. Thank you so much for sharing, I really liked this!
This is very well written! You can definitely feel the emotion from this passage, the mothers sorrow and rebirth in her faith in religion. I do think the action needs a tad bit more detail, take us deeper into the emotion of the mother, how she felt when died, more physical description. Other than that, this is awesome, and very well written!
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