I try to include some sort of constructive criticism for everything I read, so dont take these as truly engative comments, because I really enjoyed this story.
There were a few typos, but nothing distracting. Even though it was an observation piece, I would have liked to had a bit more characterization of Shem. You mentioned him tugging and stroking his whiskers but a bit more characterization would have made it easier to pull the reader into the scene. Shem's actions seemed more like another description of events at the park than approximating a first person or guide perspective.
I enjoyed this piece. It flowed very well and made a great statement about the squandering or time in our society. It made me think about how we let the precious gift of time slip by while seeking more of it. I hope you'll keep using your time to share your thoughts.
Patrick
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