That is an interesting take on what happened that day. I had never thought of it that way. Not quite sure on what you were going for. A lot of clarity is needed especially for a novice.
A well written story, however not meant to be a short story. I feel there is a lot more to his story than what I just read. Perhaps you could try to fill in the missing details and pick it up from there. For example had Shawn not been out hunting because of school commitments or had something major happened that made him not want to go hunting or am I just over thinking this. Why did the friend pull such a prank.. You see, where I I am coming from? This would 100% make for a long story if you fill in the missing details. Well, just my thoughts.
Very interesting. What you are suffering is a common disease called procrastination. You know what you want and what you want to go after but you find all sorts of excuses as to why you have not achieved this or that. Very valid excuses fro what I read.
But the real question to ask self is why you want what you want? To what end or benefit. This will help motivate you or give energy. For example are you going to die if you do not lose those extra pounds? That is a good enough reason to start a work out regardless of circumstances. So sit down and think why you want what you want and take it from there.
As for the writing . Your thoughts are well arranged and I was able to feel your frustration with how things are going. I guess that is what writing is all about. I mean being able to translate what you are feeling to the reader. So I feel if you real put your mind to it you will write that novel and much more.
set a small goal e.g. one page a day and stick with it. You will be ok. I have found out the power of writing a to do list. It works, a lot. That is all I will say for now. Remember to keep writing for you are good at it.
Well, this was a good effort. I can see what you are trying to do. The story starts off slow you nearly lost me there. I just kept reading because I am reviewing this story. There are a few grey areas in your story, perhaps who were trying to be mysterious but it makes it sound like a made up story or an attempt to look like a rebel. If your sister was in hysterics I would like to imagine that is not her normal tone or pitch of voice hence you would have jumped to action as this is something totally different to the rest f the times she has misbehaved. Just saying. Why not try to tell us about the learn you learnt and how that came about. Just saying. I am a new comer myself and would love to get an honest feedback that will help me grow and get better. Hope this helps.
Well done for putting thought to paper. This is just the beginning and do not give put because the more and more you read and write the better you become. As far as I can tell, you just listed some true facts about what happened but did not tell a story or paint a picture. I have no idea if you just giving us an update of what just happened or was there more to what you wanted to say. If it was just about reporting and keeping us updated on the plane crush then job well done.
yes water is indeed beautiful, without it we would shrivel and die. You are more than a drop, you are it. I like how water makes you feel, hope you are a good swimmer. Thank you for the piece it is indeed interesting.
easy to understand and straight forward but it seems the introduction is incomplete and could do with more story line because this is basic information for many lone parents hence more information would have been a good idea.
wow, the author really argued both sides of the story without making any one feel angry or offended. Issue and facts are raised to make one think about the pro and cons of the issue at hand. I would have liked to hear more about the effects that abortion has on the women who go through it. In that way a complete argument would have been concluded. overall it is a good piece.
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