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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/umer-amir
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Review by DrEaMer Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
:)... my kid loved it... nicely done but few reservations i have with the plot and few technicalities. overall, i would luv to recommend this piece for ma three year old niece :).

1 - the way bailey learns to fly is simply great. it contains message that we should be self suffiecient and brave. but after that story seems to simply drag itself. if u can come out with some more interesting twist like bailey's adventure, bailey rescuing someone etcetra it can work great.

2- u mentioned initially that bailey is a baby butterfly(Line 1) However, she starts to fly as soon she is out. this kinda sounds irrational.

Just polish it more, make plot more interesting and redraft it. u will have a good art piece. enjoy
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